Should I tell my mom I knew my dad was cheating??

Question

I borrowed my dads cell a while back and texted a friend on it. When his phone got a text message shortly after the one I sent, I opened it thinking it was for me. But it was some woman that isn't my mom. She wrote a message that said "I am thinking of you and touching myself." So I asked my dad about it. He confirmed my suspicions. My dad was talking to another woman. He swears that talking is as far as it went. But he had pictures of the woman on his phone. I told him he had to tell my mom. He didn't get the chance. She answered his phone a few days later and it was the woman. I feel really bad that she found out the way she did. Should I tell her that I knew? Or just leave it be?

Answer 1

if you tell her than they will be split and have a divorce but if you dont than they will be togather, just dont tell and let you mom find out.

Answer 2

i think u should tell Ur mom because if u keep it a secret then its going to get worst so u better tell Ur mom and if she doesn't believe u show her ur dads cell while hes not looking

Answer 3

If I were you I would just leave it alone.  I am sorry that had to happen.  Cheating is definitely not a good thing.  But since she now knows I would just be there to comfort her and talk to her

Answer 4

Leave it be it isn't your responsibility. Plus you were going to make him tell. So you weren't in the wrong. But your dad has a lot of explaining to do.

Answer 5

You should tell her! Your mom should know this! I know I would definatly tell mine if I was in your situation.

Answer 6

if you care about your mom your would cuz if hes doing more he could get and std and then do your mom and then she can have aids or soemthing and die

Answer 7

Your mom needs to know.

If your dad won't tell her, then maybe you should tell your mom that you found out something about your dad that you think she should know, and get her curiosity up so she asks him about it.

It'd be hard to be in the middle of that.

Sorry!  

Answer 8

>.< Dont tell her you knew she will get mad O.O VERY MAD O.o  

Answer 9

You have to go with your haert but I would probably tell her this will way you down for a long time. She loves you and will understand your want not to hurt her.

Good luck with what ever you choose.  

Answer 10

I wouldn't say anything..mom knows already anyway..you might want to say "mom maybe you should check dad's phone"

Answer 11

Dont say a word as it might make the situation alot worse. Just be there for your mom when she needs you. I wish you and your mom allot of luck and stay strong for each other. Hopefully it was just nothing and your dad wises up. But if not hold on it might be a wild ride.

Ive seen this happen to many a person in my lifetime and its never easy for anyone.

Answer 12

Leave it be at this point. But let your Dad know that he needs to be honest.

Answer 13

Stay out of it.  Let them take care of it themselves.  Remember that they were here when you were just a "twinkle in your father's eye."  You can feel bad for her but mama can take care of herself.  If she brings it up, then that's a different story.  

Answer 14

Leave it be, I think it would be adding insult to injury. Or rather injury to insult.

Answer 15

No then she will be mad at you.  Pretend that you had know Idea.

Answer 16

I think you should tell her what happened. Yes she already knows but if she finds out you knew first and didn't say anything she will be very hurt. And  right now she doesn't need to be hurt by 2 people in her life. Tell her the situation and everything... she is your mother and I'm sure that she will understand. Just explain that the reason you didn't tell her was that you gave you dad a few days to confess and she discovered it before he could.

Good Luck.

Answer 17

That one is up to you.  If your mom already knows, it happened on its own accord.  You COULD say you knew about it but it shouldn't make any difference as far as the situation itself is concerned.  I think it doesn't hurt to mention something but the more important thing is to show concern towards perhaps the situation rectifying itself and maybe seeing if your dad will stop having the affair with the other woman.  If his marriage is important enough, he will know what's best to do.

Answer 18

You should tell her because she will find out and it would be worse if she found out from someone else

Answer 19

I think you should just let it be, cause your mom may get mad at you for not telling her about this.

Just act like you didn't know.

Answer 20

This is a real difficult situation and I certainly do not envy you. If I were you I would tell your mom. Cheating is horrible and why have your mom continue to think nothing is wrong. I mean what if she finds out in the long run that you knew and never said anything? Good luck to you.

Answer 21

Let it be, it's none of your business

Answer 22

you know truthly i would not tell her you know what moms dont know wont hurt you...much lol jk but really i'd keep it a secret and move on

Answer 23

Tell her you knew and were trying to give him a chance to tell her himself before you did - she needs your support right now.

Answer 24

No, she knows now, and you were trying to get your Dad to fess up anyway and I think eventually you would have told her.The woman just beat you to it.

Answer 25

if i were you, i would show my mom the text message.  

Answer 26

I think you should just leave it be, and you shouldn't feel guilty, it isn't your fault that your dad cheated on your mom, and it isn't your responsibility to tell her, it is your fathers.

The most important thing now is to be there for your mom.

Answer 27

The damage is done now and it wont help you compounding it, so steer well clear.

Answer 28

No you shouldn't tell your mother if she already knows. She'll be spiteful towards you. However if she doesn't already know you need to tell her.

Answer 29

Your mom is probably feeling betrayed by your dad right now. For her your dad was supposed to be her greatest allie. With the loss of her trust in him she needs to know there's at least one other person in this world she can count on to sympathize with her loss.

If you tell her that you knew before she found out, but didn't share that information with her, she may perceive that your loyalties are more sided with your dad than with her, even though we both know that isn't exactly true.

Besides, since she now knows as much truth as she needs to know, what good would it do for her to know what part you played in all of this? It's likely that it would only serve to add more pain to what she is feeling now. At this point the only person it would help for you to tell her what you knew, would be you. Don't let any guilty feelings that you are experiencing at this point cloud your judgement.

Now that she knows the truth, it's now strictly between her & her husband, so let it be.

Answer 30

Wow. That's a tough one. Just tell her exactly what you told us. Sit her down and say, "Mom, I was texting on dad's phone when I saw a text message from another woman. Asked dad and he confirmed that he was cheating. He was going to tell you, but he was too late. So if you ever need to talk about this, let me know." Just something along those lines and most importantly, let her know you're there for her.

Answer 31

If you want to tell her, tell her exactly what happened, that you felt your father should break the news to her and that you fully support her an love her--but let things calm down a bit first. If she seems to be completely unable to recover from this and is in constant pain over it, (which is quite possible) you may want to simply refrain from telling her indefinitely.

God Bless.