Should I wait or move on from my husband?

Question

My ex husband called me last night and said when his lease is up, he will be ready to be a family??

His lease is up in Feb 09. We have 3 kids, married for 8 yrs. I am ready to move on with my life, like buy a newer car, travel and find a man that is more of my equal. Should I believe him or contune to move on with my life. I left due to infidelity...MORE than a few times

Answer 1

Keep movin' on.  His lease is going to be up and he's looking for somewhere soft to land.  

Answer 2

he will not change! it will happen again! dont fall for it.. dont put ur kids though getting used to daddy being around again, just to maybe up and leave again... if you had chosen to stay in the beginning and not disrupt the kids lives, i might have said something different.. but, know, it wont be`easy to travel...unless u by chance get full custody... good luck

Answer 3

Move on with your life.  If he were truly ready to be with you and be a family, he wouldn't need to wait until his lease was up to do so.  He'd be doing it now rather than later and it wouldn't have taken him this long to realize that.  You deserve better than that as does every woman.  And if he cheated more than a few times in the past, and nothing got him to stop, it's a pretty safe bet that he hasn't and won't stop if you give him another chance.  

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is your decision to make - not his.  Do NOT let him move in with you - even if he ends his lease and claims to have no where to live.  You left him for the RIGHT reason - he has no business even saying he's coming back.  You know what you want for your life - and it is not him.

Answer 5

If you are ready to move on with your life, you sure don't need him to slow you down. After 8 years of being married and 3 kids he wasn't ready to be a family, but somehow NOW he is? You sound like you've got it together pretty well right now. You know darn well what you want out of life. (a newer car, travel, an equal partner)  It doesn't sound like what you want out of life includes him. Don't wait for him, keep doing what you're doing and I hope you find happiness. (not with him, cause you know its not gonna happen)  :)

Answer 6

His time and chances are well done and over. Especially since he's basing working things off AFTER his lease is up...that's no excuse to wait and if you DO wait for him he will believe he has a tight hold on you and can hurt you all you want and you'd still come back to him.

You're ready to move on...you know what you want...so reach for it!!!

Answer 7

it seems easier to just move on but you gave up easy decisions like that when yall exchanged vows....... so pray and let god guide you in the right direction he is always right GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 8

Move on. he's trying to control your situation. You're suppose to wait until he's ready? Whatever! You are ready both financially and mentally to move on. So, DO IT!

Answer 9

He is ready to be a family?

Yeah well he had one didn't he? Bit too late to come to that conclusion. What a joker. Move on He is sc*m

Answer 10

I suspect you know the answer to your question. In any case, here is what I always say to people considering getting together with your ex. Answer the following two questions:

1. Why is he your ex?

2. Is the problem resolved?

If the answer to question #2 is NO, or even MAYBE, then getting back together would be a huge mistake. Based on what you say here, you have no reason whatsoever to believe him, especially if he cheated more than once. I'll tell you one thing: if I cheat on my wife tonight and she finds out, it would be the first time, and guess what? I'll never see her again... and she'll be right in making it that way. Besides- where does he get off saying "he'll be ready to be a family?" What about YOU?

But in the end, even if the answer to #2 is YES, it really is a decision you can only make for yourself. If you do not love and/or trust the guy, then it is time to move on. Period.

Good luck!

Answer 11

continue on with ur life  

Answer 12

No, do not wait for him. Move on with your life.

Answer 13

Let me guess: You knew he was an adulterer BEFORE your last child was born, yet you still got pregnant anyhow.  Hey, who cares if kids are left without fathers.  It's all about YOUR happiness, right?

Yes I'm being harsh.  Yes I'm laying it down for you.  You have 3 children with this man and like it or not, he is their father.  It's one thing to leave him, which in this case you did.  I'm not suggesting you stick it out and have a life of other women.  But stay near where he is.  Make it clear that there is no hope for reconciliation but you will be cordial to him for the sake of your children.  Stay within one half hour from each other so the kids can visit either/or whenever they want.  If the school calls for an emergency, BOTH of you can show up on a moment's notice.

If you want to travel, save up your money and do it when the last kid turns 18.  Take the kids to Disneyland and you save the Carribean for later.  

Your children should be your top priority.  You don't have to get back together with this man, but you do need to keep things as civilized as possible so your kids can have as much of a healthy, loving life with both of you as possible.  

Good luck to you and I hope you can come to an impasse that will benefit the children.

Answer 14

Oh girl you know the answer to that question.  Take your kids away from that bad example of a husband so they don't accept that behavior or re-enact that behavior when they become adults.  With respect to you own heart, you NEED someone better than that and I'm sure you have the ability to find that person.  Your doing great all by yourself and that's the way you have to have it.

Answer 15

Tell him your happy for him but it's a little to late! He can try and be a good father to the kids since he was a piece of c**p husband.  Once a cheater always a cheater!

Answer 16

Do you think he has changed? Was this cheating a one time event? If both answers are yes, you should wait. It would be best for your kids if you can work it out. If he is a player and womanizer, you should forget about it. He won't change. The best thing for your kids would be to have dad around, but it isn't good for them if they have a philandering father. They will think that's the way all men behave. Your husband should put your kids first and straighten up.

Answer 17

Move on with your life...you sound like you have worked hard to get where you are. You deserve to be happy (so do your kids)

Answer 18

All the man are same on this issue so patch up and save your kids.

Answer 19

If you left him bc of infidelity more then a few times then I suggest you go on with your life without him. How do you know he wont cheat on you again and again? Get divorced from this guy and find someone who will treat you alot better. Good Luck

Answer 20

Don't go backwards.  If he cheated on you once or should I say more than once he will do it again.  You should move on with your life and do the things that you want to do.  Waiting around on him will only be a road block for you. Travel, mingle, have fun you will find someone for you.  I hope this helps.

Answer 21

What are you supposed to do until Feb 09? If he wants to be a family he would be there now trying.

Answer 22

it depends... do you still love him?? if you do then i suggest marriage counselling.. if you are ready to move on then move on and cut all ties with him until you are comfortable.

Answer 23

keep it reel keep it real! you said it yourself, he did it to you more than a few times, why would he stop now? Move on hun

Answer 24

Time to move on, I think.  It's not good for you to waste your life based on the caprices of someone who sounds so inconstant.