Should I worry about my husband?

Question

My husband had a relationship with another woman for 3 years. He finally ended things with her a month ago, and he moved home. Things have been going pretty well for us and we are trying to get back on track. I found out from a mutual friend that he saw her from a distance a couple of days ago. It sparked something for him because he tried to call her from our friend's phone and I guess she didn't answer. He hasn't tried to talk to her since then. Is this something that will pass or do you think he will try to contact her again? I am sure that he cares about her, but should I still worry about them? I am hoping that she didn't answer because she doesn't want to talk to him.

Answer 1

WORRY, HECK yea... hes doing something wrong just by calling her..but then again u know that.. bc u asked this question ..listen to ur gut!  

Answer 2

i think he would try and contact her again if he gets the chance and i would , it might be true that SHE didn't want to talk to him but he wanted to talk to her and that's a problem

Answer 3

He had a relationship for THREE years & now you think it's over, except that he tried to call her again?? I don't think it's over at all. HE came back to you either because he finally had a guilty conscience over you(which I doubt after all that time) or because she threw him out for some reason (much more likely). If he's still trying to call her, he is definitely willing & wanting to go back to her. Sorry to say this but I think you've been patient long enough - time to see a lawyer & get on with your life. You deserve much better than he is ever going to be willing to give you!

Answer 4

You should worry because you seem very light about the whole situation. It almost seems normal that this has happened and you´re just like, oh ok honey move back in. It doesn´t work that way. If he had an emotional relationship with her and he still feels something for her, I believe you´re in total denial for what he feels for you...which is not exactly respect and real truthful love.

To begin with, moving in with you so soon is not getting things back on track. Is forgiving too soon and pretending to be a happy family when the truth is, he needs to realize that what he did was wrong, lots of apologizing to do and for God´s sake, not trying to contact her again!

Do you honestly think he adores you by wanting to call that woman again? Do you think he respect you and your marriage, your relationship? Do you think he LOVES you? I´m not saying he doesn´t, but I´m sensing a husband that came back for who knows what reasons, except the right ones, the ones you deserve.

Would he have taken you back after a 3 year old emotional relationship with another man? Would he be like, "What should I do, should I feel worried? My wife just tried contacting the man she slept with for 3 years" Would he, really?

Answer 5

Where is your dignity? He is not a teenager, and you are not his mother..... you don't HAVE to let this disrespectful person move in and out as is convenient for him.

Marriage is about trust, love, respect and companionship....... it sounds like you have NONE of these things together....he is a disgrace, and you sadly are enabling this behaviour by putting up with it. Get a backbone, and some self worth......get a divorce and find someone who will give you the attention and respect and true love you deserve.........

Answer 6

Ask yourself this" Do i want to be number 2 in my husbands life?" It seems as if your husband isn't over this woman. Insist on seeing a marriage councilor and see how he reacts, it sounds as if your marriage is in trouble, he shouldn't be calling an ex if he is over her. and hes not being honest.And for you to have a healthy long marriage you need honesty. Good luck>

Answer 7

YEAH, YOU SHOULD WORRY,WHY ARE YOU EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THAT KIND OF c**p, YOU WILL ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ON EDGE ABOUT HIS INFIDELITIES. YOU SHOULD'VE DIVORCED HIS BEHIND, HE'S USING YOU AS A REBOUND. I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE AFTER THEY'VE BEEN LAYING UP WITH SOMEONE FOR THREE YEARS. YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE BECAUSE ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS CALL HIM AND SAY "COME BACK TO ME" HE WOULD DROP YOU LIKE THE PLAGUE. JUST BE PREPARED TO GET YOUR HEART BROKEN.

I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK

Answer 8

Mh, thats a hard situation to tell. If they ended their relationship, there is no reason for him to call her back. 3 years is too long relationship, but it is wonderful you want to trust him again. Did you talk to him that you found out about his last attempt of calling? For you to get back on track you should be able to talk to him and tell him your doubts and fears. Good luck on your marriage, its a great example of trust and love!!

Answer 9

I would worry. If it was really over he wouldnt have tried to contact her. He could be trying to contact her at other times and you dont know. You might want to try marriage counseling. It sounds like you have alot of things that need to be worked out.

Answer 10

You are crazy to take this dude back...how do you know he ended things with her and not the other way around?  He loves this woman more than you otherwise he would not have left in the first place.  I will not sugar coat this for you cause you need to wake up!

Answer 11

If your husband is not fully committed to the marriage then it will not work. You two need to sit down and really have an open and honest conversation about your feelings. First, find out what made him stray and what will keep him loyal? Both of you must be prepared for the answers and mutually agree that you are willing to do what ever it takes to keep the marriage together. A marriage cannot work if both parties are not in it 100%. Please don't stay in a marriage without, love and respect because you will regret the time you wasted. Good luck, I am pulling for you.

Answer 12

Are you serious? Leave him! Who cares if he loves her...does he love you? Why fight a battle that you cannot win? He shows a real lack of concern for you if he is still interested in her..and calling her. Just go now before you waste more of your time.

Answer 13

Yes you should worry. If he is really into making things work with you he would not be calling her. She might not have called back because she did not know who was calling her. It is not a number that usually calls her. He will try to contact her again would be my guess.  

Answer 14

well, you have chose to married that type of man than you have to learn to get use to him fooling around with another woman. When ever he got his *** kick he will come home and stay with you for a while.

You should not worry, He will be whom he is. He will never change and even he convincing you that he change than all it is done is lie and get what he want. your fault as much as his, because you allow it to happen

Answer 15

yes i would worry because if he didnt have feelings for her he wouldnt have called her.he will most likly try and see her again.  But maybe shes tired of him?

Answer 16

I agree with everyone else. LEAVE HIM....

The thing that caught my eye was this

"I am hoping that she didn't answer because she doesn't want to talk to him."

So you are relying on the OTHER WOMAN to stop the affair???  Not your husband.

You are putting your relationship in the hands of a woman that has already wrecked your marriage.  YOUR HUSBAND should be the one doing everything he can to fix things between you and him. It is not the other womans responsibility..



It sounds to me like you are making excused for him to keep him in your life. You need to find the strength and confidence in yourself and relize that you will be just fine (if not better) without  him and his scheming.  

Answer 17

hate to say it but if things were over he wouldn't have tried to call her again,,

she might be over him but the question is he over her ,

Answer 18

As difficult as it will be... end it with him.  

Answer 19

Three years is a long time to be with someone and just break it off all of a sudden with no regrets. He has broken your trust and now is trying to contact her behind your back. Hes not over her no way and now is missing her. If he finds out you know about this latest attempt to contact her, he will only find a more secretive way to do it. Hes going thru al;l the right motions except his heart isnt where it belongs and may never come back so sue him for divorce on grounds of adultery and go after everything your legally entitled to and move on and dont look back

Answer 20

Yes you should worry. I was in a relationshipa married man and we ended it after 8 years. However, everytevery timeuld see each other out we would start the reltiorelationshipain.  It is hard for anyone man or woman to leave their ex alone. That is just part of life. I think you should worry. You don't know if he was tried to contact her or not.  Of course he will tell you no but do you really believe him? Remember he was to make up in his mind that he wants to do right. If you don't have proof that he is communicating with her try to continue working on your realtirelationship the minute you get proof...haul *** sista!

Answer 21

Do not worry about it. Save the energy. If you show him that you have confidence and prove it through your actions take a class .

Take an exercise class learn a new language.As a couple

go to family counseling.

relationships are always changing not always easy.It is easier

to work on you than others.

Answer 22

You should be worried. If he talks  to her again they will end up together.  Why is he calling her? if he wanted to  really work things out with you he would let her go for good. I think you should move on and find someone else.  

Answer 23

Why is it that you think of the other woman, while IT'S YOUR HUSBAND who's being the person that's being unfaithful to you.

Concentrate on your husband, and realize that HE will NEVER change.

If he could do this for 3 years he's obviously not finding himself with you.  You are not doing it for him, you know he's still looking for the other girl.

Answer 24

what is wrong with you his he the only man in this world that you'll be able to love you need to cut him lose but that's my opinion i just don't understand why would you take him back once a cheat always a cheat trust me

Answer 25

It sounds to me that if it's not her it will be someone else. He's chasing other women in front of your friends?!!! I believe the writing is on the wall. Have you and he sought marriage counseling? You have the power to make your life what you want it to be. Best wishes.