Should Sun Readers be allowed in First Class rail compartments?

Question

Up to town for a very jolly lunch with my stockbrokers yesterday, followed by one or two large snifters at the club. It was all going very agreeably until I arrived at Paddington.

Imagine my utter disgust upon entering my carriage to find that some frightful oaf was lounging in one of the seats reading the Sun newspaper. Needless to say, I had him arrested immediately but it turns out that some fool had actually sold him a first class ticket. He then proceeed to board the train again. This was too much; I eventually had to resort to chucking him out of a window somewhere near Reading.

I expect to see the Sun being read by navvies fixing the line....but by a fellow passenger!!! Is this legal?Has First Great Western completely lost the plot?

Answer 1

lol ur weird

Behold Lord Charles the great

your honour "how do u do?"

Answer 2

which probably means you are a daily express or daily mail reader

Answer 3

I defer to you My Lord,

you are the epitome of puissance and good breeding.

I am now worthy to touch the hem of your Barbour, I am one of the working classes (sorry) and cannot live without a glimpse of George and Lynne and Hagar the Horrible in the currant bun each day. I do have money though, it is all new money I am sorry to say (grovel cringe) I have just bought your manorial pile and grounds for what I consider is small beer. You will have to live in the gamekeepers cottage from now on, I have plans to convert your manor house into a refuge for immigrants, alcoholic single parents and  long term unemployed crack whores. The council does what I say, permission for this is finalised, eviction will commence at 1700 hours today. Toodle pip!

Answer 4

Good for you old boy, the poor unwashed should always be reminded of their status.

Answer 5

I understand you feelings old boy, like you I always thought that sun readers cleaned the trains and weren't allowed to travel on them.

Answer 6

Those of us who regularly travel on First Great Western have come to the conclusion the company must be managed by Sun readers

Answer 7

Oh, come on! Since when have sore knuckles been a disqualification for travelling first class? Would you bar an orang-utan, even if it were well dressed? You are unkind but I admire your courage in throwing out the offender.

It cannot have escaped your attention that this was near Reading. The vocabulary is so close to 'near-reading' and so appropriate for a Sun Reader! Much depends, also, upon where the sun was shining for this individual.

'Your carriage', is it? Well let me tell you that, like you, I reserve the right to expel undesirables. I refuse to have a 'Daily Mail', however you spell it! If this was at Waterloo, there would be no problem: just the place for a 'Daily Mail' reader. However, if you and I ever met on the same train, this might be a signal for an 'all points' bulletin from the Railway Police as we wrestled to throw each other onto the right track.

Answer 8

Dear me, Chips and Pasta is an angry young man. Telling you to "Go and die" may be a tad harsh. Also basing his entire persona around his dislike of certain foodstuffs is just negative. What about 'I really quite like cheese', or 'Isn't soup jolly marvellous'?

Anyway, what on earth are you doing taking the train? First class or not you can expect nothing more than the seats to be stained with urine, the floor smothered in discarded chewing gum and the inspector to wipe his nose on his sleeve before punching you in the mouth for daring to ask for a ticket. At least in my experiences of the National Rail Services. I do think you got off rather lightly if all you had to deal with was the sight of some plebeian filling his vacant mind with socialist nonsense. But jolly good show on  asserting yourself in these liberal, wishy-washy times. Out the window is exactly where they belong.

Answer 9

You travel on the train ?

how common.

Its only to be expected when you mix with the general public

Answer 10

Perhaps next time, you could arrange to have your sedan chair placed in the brakevan.  This would afford you the privacy you so richly deserve.

Speaking of Brunel....

Answer 11

First Great Western... reminds me of a little ditty about one of its predecessors, the Bristol and Exeter Railway:

High fares and poor passenger relation

Made it renowned throughout the nation.  

Or something along those lines, I can't remember exactly due to the fact it dates from the mid-1840s.  Nothing changes, what?

As to your little problem, you were right to throw him off the train and right to throw him out of the window.  Red top newspapers = socialism, which hardly sits comfortably with the notion of 'First Class' now does it?

First class should be reserved for readers of The Times, The Telegraph and The Guardian.

Answer 12

These peasants shouldn't even be on the train. Well done you for chucking him off!

Answer 13

You'll find that if you could ever elevate yourself above the gutter level of first class, and somehow managed by some strange feat to find yourself in "Superior Class", you would find that the person or persons in this area would, without reasonable doubt be reading a copy of this fine news manuscript that you may be aware of known as The Sun. The "Superior Class" that I refer to is very selective of the persons allowed to travel within. I am of course talking of the Driving Cab, where upper class fools such as yourself would never reach the level of education or qualification to tread these hallowed boards

Answer 14

if they pay for first class.. then they get it.. if u don't like it travel by plane or car =)

Answer 15

I say sir, that was not very sporting. You  should have given him a ten yards start and shot the blighter.

Answer 16

why not in a carriage full of t*ts two more wont make any difference

Answer 17

'No such animal as a Sun reader,they can only look at the pictures!!!-and next week they are going to learn to tie their shoelaces by themselves.!!!!!!!!!

Answer 18

All passengers are riff raff!!! Empty trains only!!!!!!

Strike thats what i say!!!

Down with Commuters.....

Answer 19

You travelled First Great Western? Oh dear. No wonder.

Answer 20

Yes YesI totally see your point old boy.

Wouldn't surprise me a bit if you found the ticket to be a complete forgery, Sun readers have been known to stoop to a lot worse behavior just to appear "normal" if you know what I mean.

Your patience is highly commendable, you waited far far longer than most chaps would have, I will check at the club to see if there is some sort of humanitarian award you might be eligible for.

Good show for showing such control under those appalling conditions, proving once again that GREAT Britain is the very pinnacle of the civilized Universe.

Answer 21

Good grief, I nearly swooned with shock.  Perhaps he had very short arms and was therefore unable to fully open a broadsheet?  What next, some oaf listening to a footers match on his wireless on the Orient Express?   Or a gaggle of common women with those strange badger-style hair colourings (dark underneath, with peroxide streaks) boarding the First Class  carriage at Bromley and comparing their contreband Vuitton luggage?  I'm sure Mr Brunel did not have this sort of thing in mind when he constructed the rail network.  This is what happens when you break up British rail and sell it to those dreadful entrepreneurs.  A lowering of standards since any half-wit with a credit card may buy a first class ticket.  Tut tut.

Answer 22

hear hear, i am astonished that the railway system allows such behavior indeed...i have never heard of such behavior allowing the "Sun" to be carried in the station let alone into the first class area. i hope you gave the fellow a jolly fine thrashing indeed, impertinence of the lower classes.

Answer 23

I take it that you own private coach is out of commision then?Not very sporting of you to throw him off a moving train,Think of the mess .

Answer 24

Well, I'm surprised you didn't get your manservant to chuck him off. Are you trying to do him out of a job? Pull yourself together sir, and don't let the side down again by man-handling riff raff.