Should We Renew Our Wedding Vows?

Question

My husband and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary August 2010. We never had a traditional wedding when we married in 1990, but we knew we were soul mates but did not have the money at that time. I would like to renew our vows for our 20th anniversary now that we can afford the cost. The memories and photos with our families and friends we never had. What are your ideas about how we can renew our vows? Or should we, is this a bad idea? (We are married) If you think this is a good Idea HELP with YOUR THOUGHTS (Where, what season, colors, and how should we celebrate it) Thank You!

Answer 1

i think that is a fantastic idea, why not do it better. you deserve to celebrate after twenty years of marriage. renew your vows, you dont have to do it in a religious ceremony, why not have something outside in a beautiful garden in may time. something pretty and sweet, just something really romantic, no need to go crazy just do the things you think you would have liked the first time round.

Answer 2

I think it's a great idea.  My husband and I got married at the courthouse 20 years ago, and this November we are going to Hawaii to renew our vows and have a 2nd honeymoon.  NO FOLKS, I don't consider this a do-over, I'm not disappointed at how we got married, I don't feel like I missed out.  That's not the point.  We just want to celebrate 20 years together.  We were going to have it with all the family and kids, but by the time we added up the costs associated with such a party, we could go to Hawaii for much cheaper.

That being said, you should do what you want.  If this is important to you, then by all means do it.  Have it as close to your anniversary date as possible.  Pick your favorite colors - even if they don't seem "appropriate" for summer - who cares?  It's your deal.  If you are churchgoers, have it there with a reception/dinner after.  Or, have it in your home, a park or favorite restaurant.  Get your kids to stand up with you - or your best friends.  Get the photographer - the pictures will be priceless.  Have the flowers and the white dress, if you want.  Get the cake - I'm getting one, even in Hawaii!

Above all, enjoy yourself and do what you want.  Don't let anybody tell you it's not a good idea.  I think anyone that makes it through 20 years of marriage should get what they want - and maybe a medal!

Answer 3

Sure you can if you want, but it's not 'another' wedding. Have a blessing or ceremony at your church or another location. You wear a pretty dress, him a nice suit. Then after the ceremony, a dinner at your home for family and close friends. Or since it's summer, maybe a nice barbecue in your backyard.

We just celebrated our 19th, however, wouldn't do a vow renewal - just don't see the point. On our 25th, we'll probably have a family anniversary party, though.

Answer 4

I agree with Suz123 on a few points. Keep it simple - no need to go overboard with the gown and attendants, etc.

Get a nice dress - long or short your choice, just make sure it's something 'special' to you. Have a small bouquet made for you and boutonniere for your husband as well as important male family members and corsages for the female family members and special friends.

As for colors, go with something you like, it truly is up to you.I found a website that said 20th is 'Emerald Green', so you could use a gorgeous emerald green as your color. If you are going to have formal invitations, include in either the graphics or the ink, use it in your dress, the napkins and table covers, etc. It can be a very bold and beautiful color. For flowers stick wtih a neutral like whites, peaches, yellows, etc.

The season - well that is up to you. Most people do vow renewals as close to their actual anniversary date as possible.

where and how is going to depend largely on when. You can't plan a beach or backyard celebration in the middle of a snowstorm. If possible pick somepleace that has meaning to the two of you. A restaurant you frequent for special occassions; a park where you used to walk together when you dated; a banquet hall where you went to a party that was particularly sentimental; a beach nearby; there are too many options without knowing where you are and what you both like.

Whatever you do, make it a day that's special to both of you!  Congratulations!

Answer 5

Bad idea. If it ain't broke don't try to fix it. Spend the pennies on a 2nd honeymoon if you want to do something special. It's your anniversary after all.  

Answer 6

Sure why not?! You both deserve it if you are still together after 20 years. Congrats = )

Where: A special place to you both

Colors: From your first wedding, traditional or not

Celebrate it with the love of friends and family.

Answer 7

Just be sure you BOTH want it. My friend renewed her vows 25 years later, and he asked for a divorce a year later. He's remarried, has a new, younger wife, and a brand-new baby. (The old goat!)

Answer 8

My thoughts?  Vow renewals are much simpler than weddings.

All vow renewals I have attended were brief ceremonies, taking place at the couple's regular place of worship . . . immediately following a regular worship service .  Bride and groom had one attendant each.  Some couples dressed more formally than others, but none of them wore bridal gowns or tuxes.

Each vow renewal was followed by a luncheon or party in the couple's home.

Think simple elegance, followed by a great party.  I suggest you do the vow renewal on or near your anniversary in August 2010.  None of the couples I mentioned really had "colors" or elaborate decorations.  Maybe a floral centerpiece for the buffet table, but that was about it.

The bride and her attendant did wear corsages or carry small bouquets.  The groom and his attendant did wear bouts.

A vow renewal is not a "re-do" or "do-over" wedding.

I am commenting only on the vow renewals I have attended personally. I am aware that there are other options . . . other ways to do this. But I did enjoy the vow renewals I attended.

Good luck with your planning.

Answer 9

You can renew your vows in any way you choose. Most I have been to have been in people's backyard's. There is usually a little gazebo up. There is an "officiant" who is often a friend or relative. The man walks in, then the woman walks up the aisle to him, much like a wedding. Though you don't have to do it this way by any means. We just had our wedding, and there wasn't even an "aisle" to walk down!

The couple writes their own vows, usually about how much they love being married and commit to staying together. Then everyone eats. Sometimes they are catered, sometimes people just cook out. It is usually pretty casual, though people dress up a little.

Sometimes there are tables set up with table clothes and centerpieces, sometimes there are just random tables and chairs everywhere to accomodate people.

You just do what you want and what you can afford, and maybe try to take a little Second Honeymoon as well!

Next year is my in-laws' 25th, and they are having a pretty big to-do in their backyard (they didn't get the whole "wedding" the first time). My father-in-law is even going to wear a suit this time! And she will have a beautiful dress (not a wedding dress), but it may be a white or ivory dress - she hasn't decided. Then they are flying off to Italy!

Congratulations and have a wonderful time!

Answer 10

OMG! Do it that would be so great! You all should have renewed your vowels at your 5th anniversary since you didn't get the actual wedding. But renewing your vowels would be so great! You all deserve it!

Where: Beach

What Season: Same one you all got married in!

Colors: Put you alls favorite colors together

How to celebrate: Music and Tons of family and friends!

Good Luck! I know the wedding will be beautiful.