Should a 12 year old be forced to Go to church?or are they old enough to decide for themselves on the matter?

Question

Lets say your 12 year old child absolutely hates going to Mass on sundays and every week its a big hassle to get them to wake up,get dressed,get in the care and a million other things in order to avoid going to churce.Would you force them to go?or would you let them decide for their own?

The parents want their children to have a religious upbringing!

Thanks

Answer 1

yes, i would force them to go. they need to go to church no matter what, they are minors and they don't know what they want in life yet that's the parents responsibility to guide/lead their children in the right path.

Answer 2

An 18 year old is old enough to decide for themselves.  A 12 year old isn't.

Having said that, there is a point where forcing a child to go is counter-productive.  12 isn't that point.  16 is probably where that starts.  I would arrange for my 16 year old to have to do some physical work on Sunday mornings - they can do that, or they can go to church - their choice.

Most churches these days are casual dress.

PS:You have to be 13 to use Y!A.

Answer 3

im seventeen and i hate going to church i have been forced to go the church for the last five or six years and i just hate it i have to get up early and dress up only to go to church and listen to a sermon i don't want to hear and usually end up sleeping in church most of the time. don't force them to go if they don't want to go if they don't want to go to church then obviously they don't really care about god yet so its basically a waste of their time and your time and effort

Answer 4

NOBODY SHOULD BE FORCED TO GO TO CHURCH!!!

Answer 5

Although you hate it now it will, in the end it will help you make the best choices in life.

Answer 6

if you were my kid i would tell you that you had to go to church until you were 18 AND living somewhere other then my house.

Answer 7

You should never force a child to go to church. If they want to go then they can. It is a matter of what they believe. Just because a parent believes something doesn't mean the kid will/should believe it also. My dad let me decide on my own and I didn't go to church but I did do church activities. I would never force my children to go. At 12, they should know whether they believe in God so it should be their choice.

Answer 8

Perhaps, since your 12 year old child hates going to Mass (which shows you go to a Catholic church, right?) possibly you are not going to the right church.

Your child has to obey you until they are 18 and out of your house.  They still need to obey you even after they are 18 but still living with you.

Possibly tell your child that they have to go to church until they are 18 and then they can decide.

I NEVER felt like I was "forced" to go.  I've always enjoyed it.  

Answer 9

IT BULL S**T TO FORCE RELIGION ON ANY PERSON !AND ITS PROVEN THAT YOU FORCE YOU CHILD TO GO TO CHURCH WHEN THE CLEARLY DONT WANT TO THE SECOND THEY TURN 18 THEY ARE GONNA BE WILD AND PROBLY INTO DRUGS AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU WOULDNT LET THEM DO!

Answer 10

No.. by 12 you wether or not you want to be religious and believe in god and stuff like that ... it should be his decision now ..  

Answer 11

Let's say:  There's a gas leak and you house blows up and kills all your family members except yourself.  

Would you go to Church then?

Watch the news.  Every now and then they tell you a story about every day people having big time problems.  

The problem with being 12 is you think you know "everything".  

After front-line combat I started sitting on the front row in Church.  

Don't find out why the line, "You don't know what you've got until you lose it" hurts so much.

If that 12 year old was "my" child we would sleep in a tent during a snowstorm next to the Church on Saturday night just to make sure we got to Mass on time.  I believe after a few storms there would be a change in attitude (smile).

God Bless you and yours !!

Answer 12

I think a 12 year old should be able to decide for him/herself.

By 12 I had already decided that I didn't believe in a god and if I had been forced to go to church every week I would have been miserable and deeply regretted my parents for trying to enforce things on me that I strongly did not believe in. Luckily my parents were not like that.

But in saying that, if the child does believe in god and is religious, I would explain to him/her that an important part of religion is worship and that attending mass is a tradition that they should value.

But I think the child is probably just bored, because 12 year olds don't have a very long attention span and I have attended enough masses in my life to say that church was never the most exciting way to spend my Sunday.

If they don't want to attend church at the moment I think that's fine, because I am sure as they get older they will either realise the importance of their religion and want to willingly attend church or will have formed their own beliefs/disbeliefs about religion which is out of your control.

I think forcing a child to attend church kind of defeats the purpose.

Answer 13

I would say that if the child has had a religious upbringing to this point, they are old enough to decide on their own.  I would consider myself a religious person, I don't go to church on a regular basis, and wasn't forced to go as a child.

"The kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in buildings of wood and stone.  Split a piece of wood, and I am there, lift a stone and you will find me."

Answer 14

When I was 12 I hated it too and also made every excuse in the book not to go, but my mom always won and I went almost every Sunday until I was about 16 or 17. I now thank my mom all the time for making me go and giving me the education I needed when I was young so that I would have my children her grandchildren brought up with a religious upbringing!

Answer 15

Almost every kid hates going to church. its long, its boring, it takes up a chunk of your weekend. but at least your parents are giving you the oppurtunity to learn about their beliefs. when you get to be a little older, you wont have to go, but you will understand the way your parents think and how they feel about religion and faith.

i hate church too , but im goin to take my kids there. if i dont, they will grow up with out know the stories of the bible and will never be interested in learning it. if they go when they are little  they may end up likeing it.

you should always suck up the oppurtunity to learn something, even it its not that interesting. it may help you somewhere down the road to know a lil about religion.

Answer 16

If its the parents rules then the 12 year old should go or they can move out.

people are saying "dont force him to go to church if thats not what he believes"

honestly im positive that the only reason the 12 year old doesnt want to go to church is because its boring not because of what he or she believes.

Answer 17

No matter what age they are no one should be forced to go to church because if they don't want to go, then they probably won't get anything out of going anyways. So it is really pointless if they don't want to go. Personally I dis-like going to church so I don't go unless the schools force me too, or someone dies, or for a wedding. But I have absoulutly nothing against God.  

Answer 18

My brother used to hate going to church. My mom would always fight with him, so that he would go. But then he changed churches. And now he loves to go to church. Maybe it's that he doesn't get along with the people there, and they leave him or her out.

Try talking to your kid, instead of forcing.  Try and understand your children's thoughts.                        

Answer 19

In 8th grade (or for some it's 9th grade) is when one would be confirmed. Well..in Catholicism.

Anyways, that's the age when you choose whether or not you'll be a Catholic for the rest of your life.

It is considered a mortal sin to not go to church every weekend, as it is one of the 10 Commandments.

I'm getting confirmed this year, and I have to go to church every weekend in order to be confirmed.

So, I'm transitioning from barely going to church at all to having to go every weekend plus every Friday.

I'm assuming you're the 12 year old in the question, and my advice to you is grow up and tough it out. Your parents only want the best for you.

Answer 20

the parents may want their children to be religious but did you ever think that maybe the kid just isn't religious? its really bad to make someone who doesn't believe in that stuff go to church. its just stupid.

Answer 21

Rather than force perhaps one could attempt to have a reasoned conversation with them, coming to understand their reasons for not wanting to go, and explaining the reasons the parent does want them to go.  Ideally, one would hope that, if the family unit has decided Mass is an activity they will attend as a family, the case could be made to the 12 year old that would convince them to choose to attend.  Does the 12 year participate in meals and indoor sleeping arrangements provided by the family unit?  If so perhaps you could ask why they feel they should be able to choose which family functions they participate in and which they do not.  Perhaps the 12 year old would like the family to visit other religious services with them and this could become a practice.  I dont think a child should be forced, but rather helped to see that while they are a part of the family unit, participating the family unit functions is a reasonable expectation.  

Answer 22

if my 12 y/o lived at home they go by my rules until they move out! I dont care if they like church or not, if the family is going to church so are they, I dont care how much they whined and cried

Answer 23

no way!!!

I would kill my parents if they made me go to church. Its the weekend for crying out loud!!!! LET THEM SLEEP IN!!! dont be n**i parents.

Answer 24

There is no hassle.  I feed you, house you and provide all the things that you need.  Therefore, I get the unfettered privledge of telling YOU how things are going to go.  That means on Sunday mornings you get your @ss out of bed and into some decent clothes (that I bought), pour some cereal down your throat (that I bought) and get your heathen @ss into the car (that I bought).  This family goes to Father's House every Sunday.

That is what I tell my 12 year old.

Old enough to make your own decisions.  Who put that idea in your head?

Answer 25

If its only one day a week it certainly isn't going to hurt her. Many kids grow up going to church more than once a week and it doesn't hurt them. If they were insisting that she be at every function in a very busy church so she had little time for any other activities I would be concerned.

She lives in her parent's home and needs to abide by their rules. She will ultimately have to make her own decision as to what she believes and she will have the information to make that decision. They are good parents who love her and want to enable her.

Her eternal life is at stake. I have a hard time with parents who claim to be Christians and don't see the seriousness of doing everything they can to help their children find salvation. If they really believe what the Bible teaches they owe it to their children to make sure they are given every opportunity to be saved.

You don't necessarily have to take your child to church every Sunday but it is important that you teach them about your faith and why its important to you that they be saved also.

Answer 26

As long as my kid lives in MY house they will be going to church and if they don't like it then they can leave but don't come back unless your gonna go to church-goes for all my kids

Answer 27

When i was 12 i was expected to go to church for an hour a week, too.... my mother required us to go, and i did.

One hour a week isn't going to kill you -- i'm no longer a catholic, didnt like going to church but did it because it was an hour a week my mom wanted me to spend with her... she's dead now, so i'm glad i did something to please her once a week for an hour.

Answer 28

Yeah. Parents make the rules. When you move out you decide if you go to church.

Answer 29

I think that the child should go to church! The child doesn't have any rights!

Answer 30

I'd have to say if it weren't for my father to drag me out of bed every sunday I would not be a religious person. I'm 20 yrs old and now take my baby to church with me every week.

Answer 31

Oh, STOP!  You'd spent twice that long getting ready to go to the movies, so don't make it sound like it's such a time crunch.

If they don't like Mass on Sundays, perhaps it's time that they had a choice as to which Mass they attended.  I know a lot of my friends will go to an early Friday evening Mass, or a Saturday Mass -- less crowded, gets through faster, and makes their parents happier.  A SMART 12-year-old would offer that as a compromise, instead of fighting the inevitable.