Should a Mom be considered negligent if she gives a c**p about her kids school?

Question

Not me, but my sister only thinks her kids need to look good and hang out with the "popular" kids and they will be fine. Should I tell her off????

Answer 1

you are very concerned about something and someone you can't control.  focus on your children and yourself.

Answer 2

Your sister is a lousy mother and does not deserve to have her kids.

I hope she looses them to someone who will take time to teach them to be good citizens and good people, and not just shallow idiots who want to "hang with the popular people."

Doc

Answer 3

I can tell that you really care about your nieces/nephews. That is to be comended. I am not sure what to make of the situation with your sister. It is difficult to tell what is really bugging her. Is it really that she doesn't want you teaching the kids or is it that she is maybe a little jelous that you are making more progress with them? I don't think it's the best idea to visit with the kids without her consent. I believe you should talk to her about what it is that is really bothering her. Make it clear that you do not want to upset her or fight. If you preface the conversation with the fact that you love her and you love her kids. You don't want to cause waves but it's really important to you that you have a good relationship. If she wants you to back off, give her a bit of space. Show her that you can be respectful of her wishes, it doesn't mean that you have to cater to her but show her that you care about how she feels. If you are able to support and encourage her about her parenting that may make all the difference. I work with my boys all the time and have found there are other adults in the world that are able to "teach" them in a way that I am not. I have  a dear friend that adores my boys , and she is an excellent teacher. I at first found myself jelous and that I was comparing my kids to hers. I knew it was wrong but it was eating at me. It was a simple comment one day that changed they way I looked at things. She said something like- " You're boys just absolutely adore you and I love seeing how Secure and happy they are, Thanks for sharing them with me!" It made all the difference... I really hope this helps. Just remember you can be  team with your sister instead of opposition.....

Answer 4

Hard as it is, it isn't your kid, so you cannot legally interfere unless the parents can be considered negligent. Generally, this will only happen if the kids are living in a dangerous environment, are truant, are not properly fed/nutritioned, or are not properly fed.

Be a supportive aunt, though; encourage your niece/nephew to do well in school, and tell them you're there if they need help. Praise their academic efforts, and show an interest in what they are doing in school (clubs, sports, classes, etc.). Offer to take the kids out on trips relating to their classes (i.e., "You're studying the muscles? You know, I heard about this new museum exhibit about that- do you want to go?") You can also supplement holiday gifts with educational books, like, depending on the age, the magic tree house series, magic school bus series, classic children's lit (Little Women, Little Princess), or science fiction books like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)

Be careful of not over stepping the parent line, though- you can easily turn well meaning action into resentment on the part of the whole family (kids included, "you're not my mom!" syndrome.).

Answer 5

Nope.  Your sisters interactions with her kids is her business.  "Telling her off" won't help the kids, it will just strain your relationship with her.

If you are really concerned, then try to spend some quality time with your neices/nephews and express to them (without lecturing) the importance of education.

My DH's ex is the same way about school - doesn't care.  We made an impression on the kids (age 5) by taking them to see the bums living on the streets downtown - told them you can avoid being like them by going to school, making school important, and graduating because then you can get a job and support yourself.     I know that sounds a little extreme for 5 year olds but their mother blatantly told them "you don't need school, I didn't graduate and I can still take care of you, right?"

Answer 6

well don't be harsh about it or stress on what she does wrong cus that will immediately turn her off.  she'll shut out what you are saying.  I think you should say how she can improve and how important education is for her kids futures.  say you care about her and her kids, and you want the best for them.  maybe admit some of the mistakes you make too.

Answer 7

She is your sister.  Is telling her off worth loosing her?  True it sounds like she needs to re-evaluate some of her parenting techniques, but it is not your place to "make her see the light."  If she has pushed others out of her life for trying, what makes you think you are any different?  Let her parent her kids and you parent yours.  It is tough to watch I am sure, but it is not your place.  Let her make her own mistakes and pray that her eyes open and she can rectify the problem before it is to late.  If that doesn't happen, just be there for her and her kids.  Show all of them love and support.  That's what sisters are really for.

Answer 8

your sister needs to pull her head out of her butt and make sure her kids get an education, she is only harming them inthe long run, how does she expect them to make anything of themselves when they grow up if they dont have the proper tools to do it with. those "popular kids" arent going to give them jobs or pay their bills.