Should a Single man adopt and/or have a child even though he doesn't have a spouse to raise it with?

Question

For a 30 year old man who hasn't had much luck in love and truly wants a child do you think he should adopt and/or have a child by paying a women just for this purpose even though he doesn't have a spouse to raise it with?He is a professional with good income,stable job,nice home and the time to give the best of him to the child.Would it be a cruel

Answer 1

Why not a lot of men do it and who knows maybe later on you will find a spouse.

Answer 2

Sure.  Although the majority of single parent families are female/child there's nothing that says you can't be a single father and a good one.  If you want a child of your own, you can find a surrogate mother.  You need to do your research because this woman will pass on her biology to your child.  There's a bunch of links on the web but I would talk with your family practitioner first for a referral.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Absolutely. There are so many children out there in need of a loving home. In this case adoption would be a beautiful thing! Go for it!!!

Answer 4

i think this is fine.  

Answer 5

I am in the exact same boat as you. I too have been grappling with that question.  I have been asking what would be best for the kid.  So far I have heard three reasonable suggestions that I am trying to explore: 1) Hire a surrogate, use your sperm, and be a single biological father (for me, that would entail hiring a full time nanny to help during the formative years)  2) Adopting a child (I have heard its difficult for a single man to adopt (especially if you are looking for a child who is American, but I haven't really delved into that option yet, so I don't know for sure).  Or 3) Make an agreement with a woman in a similar situation.  I have heard there are woman, like men, who haven't had much success in dating, but feel their biological clocks ticking and would rather have a child than keep waiting for Mr. Right.  In essence this would be like an amicable divorce -- you make an agreement up front: you and she share custody,  The pros of this would be another parent to help raise the child, and someone else to help support (emotionally, financially, etc) the kid.  There are huge issues with this approach though- what happens if you and she disagree on big issues?  Who makes the final call? You are both biological parents so you would both have legal rights.    (As I was typing this I realized I guess the last option could be two men or two women as well, but I'm not sure how that would work if there was an issue that had to be handled via the courts)

Answer 6

  Hey yeah i am gonna keep it real . Children are a LOT of work . You may look at happy families and think you can do that but i just want you to be realistic about it all . To me it feels like your trying to fill a lonely void in your life and expect to have a happy smiling child but its takes alot of work and children are the most self centered and need you to be there for them not the other way around .

. So get realistic and decide are you really ready for this child ? Research maybe take some parenting classes about children .

  So if your being realistic and understand what your getting yourself into then h**l Yeah you should adopt ! If you feel thats what you want in life then go for it . Sorry you haven't found a good girl yet maybe you can put yourself out more your only 30 ! Maybe look at the type of girl your always trying to date and where your meeting them ,, you wont meet wifey in a club but maybe somewhere else .

  Nope it isnt cruel ! What some of these kids faced has been cruel you wont be the amount of evil in the world until you hear some of their stories . I think you should definably adopt save the money you were going to make the child and use it on your new kid . It would be cruel if you went into this with unreal expectations and had to send the child back bc you werent ready now that would be cruel . So do some hard thinking about it all and if you feel in your heart its what you want to do . Go for it :) ! Honestly its an awesome thing to do to give a child a chance to have a family you dont need a spouse to have a family .

Anyways i wish you luck ! Honestly only you can answer this question that you asked here ? I dont think it will be unfair to the child to not have a spouse but it would be unfair to go into this with unreal expectations .

You have a good heart to adopt a child i wish you luck .

Izzie ^__^

Answer 7

He would be a single father and there are plenty of them out there.  Being married doesn't make a perfect home.  If a man can love a child and give them a nice warm safe home to live in and can be a good parent then i have no problem with it.  I know a few men that would make great fathers but they just can't meet Miss Right so they just stay single or keep looking but they really would be great as fathers.  So as long as he isn't abusive or something then it would be just fine.  

Answer 8

I don't think it would be cruel by any means.  How would adopting a child, thereby saving them a life of getting pushed in shoved in foster care and who knows what be a bad thing?  To raise a child successfully, one must be committed, be ready to love and spend resources.  If you can and will do those things, then go ahead and enrich your life and that of another.

There is no manual on parenting, having two parents doesn't make a child's upbringing any more "right" than a child with a single parent.

I hope to adopt in a few years as well :)

Best of luck!

Answer 9

I think that that would be perfect and awesome. There are so many children in this world that need a good home, and if he wants to be a father, where theres a will, theres a way.

Answer 10

If a single man is able to provide a good loving and stable home for a child.  And they want to adopt they should go for it there  is nothing wrong with a single male adopting.  There is nothing wrong with a single parent home(be it your adoptive parent or natural parent)  regardless of the gender of the parent it is far  better to have one parent then non at all.

Answer 11

If it were up to me--singles would not be allowed to adopt.

Adoptees have already lost TOO much.

I believe adoption should be like a hefty insurance policy--you get what you LOST (everyone has 2 parents) and then some.

Get a puppy, dude.

Answer 12

For a baby - I think not.

There is a great amount of research out there - that shows that the first year - perhaps even up to the first 7 years - is crucial in child development.

If a child only has one parent - and that parent can only survive by putting that child into long hours of day care to allow them to work - then that child isn't being allowed to have the absolute BEST start to life. (child care means an infinite number of care givers - children NEED his/her parents)

For adoptees - that are separated from their bio parents - and already have a rough start to life - being given away to a single parent is like having it hard - all over again.

Adoptees don't need another adult care giver to not be there for them for the majority of the hours in each day.

They need parents that will give of themselves - fully - for the best outcomes of the child - not just parent/adopt - to fulfill their 'need' to have a child.

Perhaps look into adopting from foster care of an older child - might be the go.

But still - be very very aware of how many hours you yourself will be front and centre for that child - not just a part-time carer.

Children's emotional and psychological well being depends on the BEST adult care.

Not money. Not nice homes. Not college educations. Not adults with strong desires to have a child for their own gratification.

They need adults that will love them unconditionally - and be there for them 24/7.

Just some things to think about.

Answer 13

I think that it is fine for a dad to adopt.  But I am also on a different end of the spectrum because my female partner and I are raising children together without a dad.  I think that as long as that female influence is availablee, the child will feel loved and nurtured, no matter what s*x is raising him/her.

Answer 14

if the man wants to adopt a child he should first know the responsibility's of how to raise and take care of one and if the father still wants to adopt then he should adopt and who knows maybe he will meet the love of his life.