Should a biological parent who gave their child up for adoption.....?

Question

be allowed to reclaim custody if they change their mind???

Answer 1

No. I don't think they should. I do agree there should perhaps be a longer waiting period, to allow a birth mother to realize the ramifications of her decision, and allow the hormones to get back in line.

Answer 2

I think it's appropriate to have a period of time before it is final in which the birth family has the opportunity to change their mind.  But, adoption is not foster care.  It's not just caring for a child until or if their biological parents come back.  Yes, the biological connection is important.  But, there is a period of time after which the child has been with the family he or she knows (their adoptive family) that it would be so incredibly traumatic to loose their family.  Plus, I do think adoptive parents feeling count for something.  People do need to be responsible for their actions.  It is not okay to keep "changing your mind". (not that this happens often, and I'm not talking about an initial period of understandable confusion and termoil - that is why I do thing there should be a period of time available to change one's mind.)  It not only impacts the life of the child negatively if this happens but the life of the rest of the adoptive family, also.

Answer 3

If they choose to reclaim the child during their reclaim time frame, then that’s fine.  If were talking about someone who say places a baby for adoption in 2008, then decided in the year 2013 that they want child back.  Heck No!

With their reclaim period its fine, but not years later. Unless its an extreme case as BPDwife mentioned ,in which it can be proven for whatever reason the adoption was not legal.

Not to mentioned  it would be  beyond cruel to rip a poor child away from the only family they have known, and has cared for them for years. Give them to people who may be blood related to them but are strangers none the less.

Answer 4

No I think that they should think long and hard before they decide to give their child up and if they decide to then they should respect their  decision and let their child be raised by the adoptive family!I can see it would be hard to give up your child butthey should honor their commitment to the family in which they gave their child

Answer 5

No. Not simply because she/he changed their mind.

Answer 6

NO! they have no right to claim anything once the child has been adopted. CHANGE THEIR MINDS?!? It should be a felony to invade the life of a family like that and for such a reason. The parents of the child and the child as well will only be upset and suffer at the hands of of the bio.  My daughter is adopted and the bios are family friends and my daughter knows her situation completely, but in the hypothetical event there is nothing I would not do to protect my daughter from ANYONE.

Answer 7

I have given a child up for adoption, and I wouldn't dare try to reclaim custody.  It would ruin the child and confuse the child forever.  When you sign those papers, that's it.  You have to live with it, and go on with your life.

Answer 8

No.  Never.

Answer 9

Nope.  I think their decision should be legally binding.  It is not right to take back the child from their adoptive parents, just so they can have something they were once not even sure they wanted.  It is unstable, and I don't think that having children in unstable homes (at least knowingly) is the best option.  I would feel this way no matter if it was me that gave up the child or someone else.

Answer 10

Biological parents who choose to relinquish their children have, by law, specific time limits to allow them to change their minds.

Once that time passes and the bio parents have not changed their minds, the rights are permanently terminated. Given that the bio parents are allowed a time span, I don't agree that they should be able to come back in to a child's life and try to reclaim custody when they change their mind at a future date.

I also believe that all parents should do what is best for the CHILD and not the adults. If the child is in a stable loving home environment, there should be NO reason to disrupt that even if the bio parents have a change of heart.

Also, in our state, when a child is placed for adoption, the process takes 6 months before a judge will finalize it. This a long time and provides opportunity for both sides to make a solid decision.

Answer 11

No.  In Md, they have a thirty day window to change their minds.  Once that time is up, then that is it.  I am an adoptive parent saying this, for the record:  I believe it is appropriate to have a period of time for the birth mom to reconsider things, but it should be a short period, like the month that is designated in MD because 1.   Kids need stability, not someone who will waffle on their decision what may be multiple times throughout their lives and 2.  Adoptive parents have feelings too...we grow attached to these kids because they become OUR children!  So do our friends and family.  And so does the adoptive child.

Answer 12

Yes especially if she changes her mind immediately.  I think the revocation times should change and be the same in all states.

Answer 13

I have mixed feelings about this.  After all, we allow adoptive parents to change their minds and disrupt adoptions years later.  And  surely it feels "unstable" to a child to be moved into an adoptive home.  Surely adoption, by definition, invades "the life of a family."  

Why is adoption always forever if you gave birth to the child and not always forever if you didn't?  

I think it should depend on the circumstances.  Currently, if both parents have relinquished and the adoption is legally finalized, then they're out of luck.

Answer 14

If they placed the child and the adoption isn't final the yes.

The key is to make a longer waiting period, so when things settle down, the mom is better able to make that decision. also everyone needs to honor open adoption  agreements assuming it's not harmful to she child.

But, if a person places a child they should't be able to take the child back after 10 years.

Answer 15

no they shouldn't. It's not fair to the child....I don't want you or can't care for you...yes I can... no I can't.  They are given a chance to change their minds. First their parental rights are terminated and there is an appeal process. Then the child can be adopted. The appeal process is their time to rethink their decision but their is no guarantee the judge will return them to bio parent. depends on the reasons and circumstances.

Answer 16

yes

Answer 17

The problem with waiting periods and a mother changing her mind is this, very, very rarely will an adoption be stopped even if the mother changes her mind before the waiting period expires. Those time periods are a joke, many women found that out the hard way. Too many women who would have been good parents are never allowed to find out due to this happening to them. There are many women and men who change their minds and even though they are well within the revocation period they are denied  their own children. Most of the time what happens is the adoptive parents fight to keep the child, the longer they can drag it out the better. If enough time goes by, most judges will give you the old "they have only ever known this family" and about how horrible it is to rip them away from this family. What about the mother who realized almost immediately and was denied her own child because someone didn't want to give that child back?

Too much greed and entitlement exsist in adoption and because of that, it is a very rare thing for a child to be returned to their natural family. In my opinion that is sick, mean spirited and out right theft.

Answer 18

Absolutely not. That's what adoption is all about. Adoption couldn't exist if the biological parents had the right to change their minds after the adoption took place. There are circumstances where it seems like it would make sense to allow  

biological parents to gain custody but, after an adoption has been finalized (usually within 6 months, depending on the state and the circumstances) it is absolutely not in the best interests of anyone to have the adoption reversed. Foster parents and foster children is a whole different thing -- and that's why it exists. Biological parents need to know that giving up a child for adoption is FOREVER just as adopted children need to know that their adoptive family is FOREVER. We can't have it both ways at all.

Answer 19

Absolutely not.  Children are not toys that you can just choose when you want to play with and when you don't.  They need stability.  

It is my understanding that most states (if not all) have a revocation period for bio parents to change their mind.  If they have not changed their mind during that revocation period (or in extreme cases where it can be proven that the adoption was done illegally), then a bio parent should not be allowed to "reclaim" custody.

Answer 20

No

Answer 21

I think it must depend how long ago they gave up the child.

Answer 22

Well I'm not sure but I'm thinking no. but some adoptive parents decide that they do not want to send pictures or have the biological parent ever meet them because they are afraid that the biological parent will want to take the child back

Answer 23

They have a ten day period to decide (in open adoptions) after the a-parents have taken the child, if they want the child back IN MOST CASES, not all.

Answer 24

No, I don't agree with them being allowed to do that.

My brother adopted a newborn and the biological parents changed their minds when the baby was 5 months old.( where we are from they have 6 months to change there minds.)

It was completely devastating and very wrong. The baby ended up being taking away from his parents when he was a year old do to neglect. My brother has no idea where he is now or what happened to him.

It is the most heart breaking thing. He raised that boy from birth until he was 5 months old than they just took him. It was so wrong