Should a child of 10 have highlights in her hair?

Question

My daughter (who lives half the time with her mum and half with me) has told me tonight that her mum has agreed to her having highlights in her hair. I haven't agreed to this however will it do any damage to her hair at such a young age? Do I have a right to say I do not want her to have it done? She is upset and crying in her room now and I am made out to be the bad dad!

Answer 1

It damages her hair and you have to keep it up. I wish I would have never dyed my hair at 13 because it is so dry now 5 years later. Your kid sounds like a spoiled brat no offence crying like a little baby because she can't have her way. Don't let her do it.

Answer 2

Yes you have right. The mom may let your daughter do it anyway but object to it. It is way too young. Not only damage wise but kids are looking too old too soon. She needs to look like and be a kid. Yes, she may be mad at you, but she's 10. You will have to be the responsible "mean" one but that's how things are sometimes. It might be hard but do what you think is right, don't get talked into something you don't like.

Answer 3

No , when i was 3 they put highlights in my hair for a commercial , and my hair is fine now at the age of 13 ..... dont worry  

Answer 4

10 is too young to have highlights.don't worry you're not a bad father because what good does highlights do for a 10 year old?NOTHING and she could become a bad girl

Answer 5

personally i wouldn't allow it.  it ruins their hair.  but my granddaughter has hers done all the time in different colors.  she has dark brown hair and it does look pretty

Answer 6

I don't see a big problem with this.

It's just hair, and it is not a permanent disfiguring change.  If she gets tired of it, she can always cut her hair or wait for the highlights to grow out.  

I think the more important thing is that you and the ex- need to come to some sort of agreement about 'who decides' things in the event of a disagreement, because for sure this is only the beginning of many disagreements that you are likely to have about these sorts of things (when can she start dating, when can she wear makeup, etc).   Maybe one of you gets the final verdict on personal grooming issues, the other gets the final verdict on educational issues or something liket that, but you guys need to find a way to make decisions without your daughter seeing you taking opposite sides all the time because believe me, she is at an age where she will milk that adversarial thing between Mom and Dad as much as she possibly can, and eventually you are going to have some real important issues that you don't agree on that matter a lot more for her future than if her hair is highlighted or not.

Answer 7

it could burn her scalp. have you ever colored  your hair, the grey.? stuff burns. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TO MOM/mum. Your daughter is too young. if you ever read the boxes of coloring it states you shouldn't use it if you are under 18.  SAy NO and mean it.

Answer 8

10 is way to young to get highlights.  

Answer 9

nahh its fun , she will be over the moon about it , just let her get them , there harmless

Answer 10

NO way, 10 is way too young and yes it does damage the hair. I started at 15 and wish I had to wait. Sometimes you just have to be the bad dad/mom in this situation. And yes, I feel you should have a say in this you are her father. I work at an elementary school and I think it is terrible how young the girls are highlighting hair, wearing make up and getting acrylic nails. Some of my own daughters classmates had them last year and she was only in 3rd grade. If I were you I would stand my ground on this. It is sending the wrong message to already let her alter her looks at 10.

Edit: half these girls get these highlights and then they are not maintained and it looks really terrible in my opinion.

Answer 11

i think that a little too young-but discuss it with her mom-only problem is you cant control what may happen when she spends time with he mom

Answer 12

Although my personal opinion is that 10 is pretty young for highlights, I say, since Mom has already okayd it, leave it alone.  I say this because you are in a position of choosing to be the bad parent (for no good reason, really) or just letting it go.

It won't harm her.  It doesn't do any more damage to a 10 year olds hair than it does to a 40 year old.  In the big picture, is it really worth the stress of fighting with your daughter and her  mother?  

Really, just let it go.

Maybe have a good conversation with your daughter's mother about communication and discussing important decisions BEFORE making them next time.

Good luck

Answer 13

nope...too young. Now that I'm older I wish I had a parent that would stop me from doing what I wanted. Sure I would be mad at the time, but it would save me from a world of hurt later.

Keep that foot down and don't budge on your decision. Your her dad and mom is not the boss. 10 years old is too young to have highlights. It has nothing to do with ruining her hair but all to do with becoming too grown too fast.  

Answer 14

of course she is way to young for hightlights that's the problem with kids now a days they grow up way to soon. and it can cause damage to the hair if it's not done correctly. you can say something to her mother she is your daughter too.  

Answer 15

I think it is way too young.  You aren't a bad dad because you don't give her something she wants.  That's a parent's job to regulate things.  

Answer 16

My girls have been using temporary colours in their hair since they were 10.    It's just hair and is a lot of fun.  

However, you should never use hair colour that has ammonia in it on young children's hair.   There is a young girl I know who's mom used regular colour on her hair and they had to shave it all off because the ammonia damaged her hair so badly.   Young children don't have the oils necessary to protect the hair.

Answer 17

I think she is too young to have highlights but that is just the world now days. Kids are pressured to grow up so fast.

I think you are fighting a loosing battle.

Answer 18

She is way too young to get highlights.  I don't know why some parents want to let their children grow up so fast.  I don't think that you are a bad dad.  I don't really know what you can do about it, but I agree with you that she is too young.  It can damage her hair, and personally I think it would make her look like a s**t.  I also don't think 10 year old girls should be wearing makeup, but I know a lot of mom's who let them do it.

Answer 19

10 is kind of young, but believe me, other girls get highlights at her age.  I have two sisters and a niece who are hairdressers, and I think my daughter waited intil she started middle school to get her first highlights.

Answer 20

Honestly, its just hair.  It will grow out.  Although, I wouldnt let her do it on a whim.  If she is going to chemically treat her hair, there is a lot of care thats involved in that.  She needs to be very well aware of that and prepared to do it.  My opinion is give her a month to think about it while she researches it.  At the end of the month, if she still wants to do it, thats fine.  But, if it gets messed up, she has to live with it.  You most certainly cannot use two treatments back to back.

I would also suggest something temporary.  There are plenty of hair dyes that last anywhere from 2-24 shampoos.  Thats what I would go for first.

OR

They also make spray in hair dye, that comes out in one wash. Maybe she could try that.  Far less permnant.

Answer 21

its not the damage aspect, its the fact that she shouldn't be encouraged to want to change herself at that early an age. What about that spray stuff? Something temporary? I think its too young an age to expose her to all those chemicals that they use to dye hair. So I agree with you.

Answer 22

It's just highlights, she is not marrying her off.  The child's behavior is more important than what her hair looks like.

Why don't you try a compromise like getting ears pierced instead.

ETA:  you really just want people to agree with you, nothing will really convince you other wise will it?  Go ahead and make your daughter hate you, over what? A few highlights, they were probably going to be subtle anyway!  Way to go!

Answer 23

Way too young! you are her dad. put your foot down! she could be allergic to the bleech or dye! look up some pictures on the net of bad reactions, and show her!