Should a father have the right to witness childbirth even if the mother doesn't want him there?

Question

Should a father have the automatic right to be present during labour and childbirth, even if the mother expressly doesn't want him there?

I'm especially interested to hear from mothers and fathers.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080729114017AAJCkJo&r=w#IpZQDHflBkfl63srtKhU

Answer 1

I don't think so.  It is her body and she doesn't have to have anybody in there that she doesn't want.

Answer 2

What a sad world it has become for children where parents hate each other before the kid is even born.

Maybe somebody should think about the children for a change.  Most kids would want to know that their father was present for his/her birth.

Answer 3

depends. But if he is the biological father(in the absence of rape or sperm donation) then he should have a right.

Answer 4

"Her body, her choice" has it's limits. I'm all for a woman's right to make decisions about her biological processes but when it's at the detriment of the child and father then I become concerned.

Yes, we can all agree that the birthing process is a hard and embarrassing process(try doing it as a teenage mother, it's even more awkward)but honestly the man has seen you naked already so there is one barrier taken down but then if you consider the fact that you are guaranteed to have at the very least two other (relatively unknown) people in the delivery room with you then I honestly don't understand how much more embarassed you can be by having the father of your child in the delivery room.

Obviously there are always situations where the father can't/shouldn't be in there due to complications, lack of space, etc. but it takes two to make a baby and rightfully those two should be in their to experience the birth of their child.

Can you truly not understand why some men would want to witness the birth of their child?

I think giving birth is an amazing thing. It's this beautiful and natural thing us females get to go through but that doesn't make us divine. We aren't goddess set forth on the earth to rule over the land. Giving birth doesn't make us any more important than a man and his copious amounts of s***n. Decisions like this should be made between the couple. No one should have more say than the other in this situation unless of course it's something like rape or incest.

Answer 5

yes.

Answer 6

Of course not.  She is the patient, and as such is entitled to privacy if she so chooses.  No hospital is going to go against the wishes of the patient.

Answer 7

"fathers should Only be in the Room Only if the mother wants him there If the Mum feels uncomforable then he shud'nt go in there, delivering a baby is a special thing, and obvious if theres and upset between the mum and dad then its not special for a start and if the father knows that the "Ready to Be Mum" doesnt want him there then, he should respect the wishes

Answer 8

I think that a guy who really did want to see the birth must really want to be there because no guy would come to watch for spite the birth process is gross

Answer 9

i dont think so. were poping out the kid....... we should choose

Answer 10

No.Women are not owned hence have a right to expect privacy and respect.What sort of man would be so disrespectful ,certainly not a prospective good father.

Answer 11

I was present at the birth of our four children, my wife wanted me their. It should be a joint decision, some men I know said they couldn't "watch that"  but I would not have missed it for the world,  but if the woman doesn't want him their then that's it he can wait outside the woman must have the final decision

Answer 12

Absolutely no...for two main reasons...

i. childbirth, the actual process is womens' business..the one thing that men have no right to challenge them on, or tell them how they should act, feel, be or anything else...if she wants him there fine if not...no

ii. men have the ability to decide whether they are fathers are not...they can choose to stay and accept paternity, or walk away and deny it...they basically can't have it all ways!

To legally sanction something like you are positing would effectively erode rights women have over their own reproduction and fertility.

Answer 13

father of two here, if a woman has that attitude towards "her" child and her partner or husband, i don't think she has any business expecting him to take equal responsibility. If he is going to pay and/or be the father, he has every right to be there.

Yeah, out of spite, don't be ridiculous. We are either equal parents or we are not, society is wrong to allow mothers to cherry pick where the father's involvement begins and ends while at the same time asking for our equal financial   commitment, didn't want me there? ok you get up at 4am, its YOUR baby.

What feminism has done is create a large group of adult children who believe that anything that isn't just so should be changed to suit them. Sorry, I live in the real world.

You need

1) a good dose of reality

2) a good dose of honesty

3) a good dose of over my knee

"It sure wouldn't be for the benefit of the child, as the mother would be more stressed which could affect the child."

Sorry Sam I'm not buying that, it's an emotional red herring and exploitative of the child.

Look Sammy, no sane man is going to force his way in unwanted in the first place. If a woman is that selfish to exclude the father in the first place, she needs to rethink her life. Give me one valid reason why she would deny both the child and father this first bonding experience?

"anti-feminist mantra", I don't know what you're talking about, I have spoken to you before about putting words in my mouth, may I redirect you points 1 2 & 3 above.

"As for stress it is well known that stress during childbirth can lead to complications. You may not 'be buying it' but that doesn't make it any less true."

An extra person in the room isn't going to complicate anything, I've been at a marathon home birth and a hospital birth, believe me, who is in the room and who is not is the last thing on the mothers mind.

We should not encourage women to believe that their needs trump all others any more than we already do.

I don't believe that I'd be as close to either of my children if I'd been excluded, there's a life times benefit in it for the father and child. She should be deemed selfish for not understanding or respecting that and putting others before herself. Not told that its her right to be as selfish as she wants.

Just wanting her sister there instead is not a valid reason for denying a father and child a lifetime of benefits.

There nothing sadistic or controlling about acknowledging that there are three peoples needs to be considered. It is sadistic and controlling to suggest the mothers whims trump all others needs, especially coming from someone who doesn't intend on getting involved in parent hood themselves.

To me such a thing smacks of the times when babies were "woman's business".

Answer 14

No.  If she really doesn't want him there then he shouldn't be.  And if he doesn't want to be there then he shouldn't have to be.

Answer 15

Honestly, the thought of anyone looking at the "business end" isn't the greatest thought to me.  I had a friend who was to go into the birthing suite with me, and I told her that while she was free to look, I didn't want any photos or descriptions.  The point ended up being moot, as I had a ceaserean.  I think that as the business end in question is mine, if I wasn't comfortable with having the father down there, then that is my decision.  I probably wouldn't mind having him in the room though.

Answer 16

if she's not comfortable then no

Answer 17

Hello,

(ANS) The answer I feel is VERY simple & actually very straight forwards. It is the father to be (the man) who should respect the woman's wishes.

Why? after all it is the woman who has carried the pregnancy for the last 9mths (NOT the man) and it is the woman who physically & biologically has to give birth (NOT the man). If having the man (father to be) in the birthing room would add further stress to the mother then I think her wishes should be respected no matter how upsetting or distressing that might be for the man. No! your right, its not ideal, no! your right its not necessarily fair either but I sincerely believe the woman's wishes MUST be respected even in this difficult situation.

**in an ideal world the father to be would be allowed or even wanted in the birthing room during the labor process. I know if it was me I would like to be present but I fully recognize that perhaps not all relationships or birthing circumstances are that happy or free from conflicts.

**I think YES! the man (father to be) should have the right to be included in the room during labor & birth. But I think the woman's rights come first as she is the one doing all the hard work & undergoing all the pain. It must be her choices that are respected as to who she wants in the room at that time.

**I do think it would be VERY tragic to exclude a father to be from seeing the birth of his own child though if he desperately wanted to be present.

**Children NEED fathers more now perhaps than ever before, children need their fathers LOVE.

**But I still say if the man went into the labor room against the woman's wishes then its like an invasion of privacy, of personal private space. But I find this very hard to imagine happening though (but what do I know I'm only a man not a father) but that's my opinion for what its worth.

Ivan.

Answer 18

I don't think that every dad has the right - as some are downright horrible.

I think if a dad-to-be wants to be supportive and have an active role in his child's life then he should be able to witness the birth.

Men don't carry a child for 9 months or have the necessary hormones to just naturally bond with their newborn babies.  It's things like witnessing the birth and being there in the first few moments that help them bond with their child and want to take part in their lives.

Women shouldn't be so selfish to deprive a father of this.

:-)

Answer 19

They both made the baby didn't they? It wouldn’t be there without the both of them working together (as such;) it would be very selfish of her to take that away from him. If I was ever to have a child there is no way I would do that to my boyfriend. It can be just as magical, wonderful experience for both parties.

Yes she might be giving birth, but it is his child too.

Answer 20

Absolutely he does.  To take any other position is sickeningly perverse and selfish.  

Arguments that it is "her body, her business" are irrelevant since the event also concerns the body of the man's offspring.

Answer 21

I'm afraid that the father has no legal right to be at the birth even if the mother DOES want him there never mind if she doesn't!  In an emergency situation it has been known to bundle the father out of the room.

I would suggest that if a father starts to demand legal rights over the birth of his child it will only help to alienate him further from the mother which isn't a wise move.  Being pregnant is a very emotional and hormonal business - even the most calm of women can become irrational and unreasonable.

I would advise the father to remain interested throughout the proceedings and afterwards but not to push too much for what he believes is his "right" - it will only end in tears and disappointment.

Answer 22

No, I don't think it should be a right .... just as I don't think that fathers should be MADE to witness childbirth if they don't want to.

Answer 23

Do you have the legal right to steal my question ;-D

Yes I think he should be allowed to watch.

Answer 24

no, the woman should always feel in control of her own body and therefore the decision lies with her.

Answer 25

I think he does yes...he helped to make it and id never not WANT my partner to be there when I was having our child...thats mad!

However...if they cheated or you broke up cus he did something wrong...then yes you should be able to choose as by hurting or cheating etc, he kinda lost the priveledge,