Should a girl at 20 consider marriage to someone in their early 30's...32?

Question

20 years old: Attending college, a bit overweight, very well maintained and groomed, conservative dresser, very mature,

In a relationship, he's 32, successful.

What's next?

Answer 1

at least when they are older, they are more mature than someone in their early/mid 20s.

plus, like you said. he is successful. he knows what he wants. he obviously has goals in life and doesn't want to be a bum the rest of his life.

love doesn't know age.

Answer 2

well, since the only thing you wrote about him was that he was successful, no.  you put in details about yourself, such as your weight, education, and the fact that you were "well maintained".  

in no way did you say that you were in love.  don't get into a marriage without love.  you'll regret it, no matter how "successful" he is.

Answer 3

It doesn't matter about age. Only make sure love exist.

Answer 4

My mother did the same exact thing, at the same age as yourself, and my father was the same age as the man your considering marrying. It worked out pretty perfectly between them, their both happily married with three children, the oldest just graduated college. It's not like a 10 year old with a 22 year old. Because you both are on close levels of maturity. If you feel your mature and ready enough, go for it! Life without love, is no life atall.  

Answer 5

I am not seeing a problem here.  If you love each other age is nothing but a number.

Answer 6

If you love him, then I don't see an issue.

12 years is nothing.

If you are unsure, there is nothing wrong in dating the guy for awhile!

Answer 7

If you love him. There shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 8

I think this could go for older men as well as younger women.

What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men?

Exploring the modern coupling phenomenon

By Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.

08-25-08 article on yahoo. com

'Younger man, Older woman couple "

There appears to be a trend of older women dating younger men, notably illustrated by celebrity couples including emi Moore and Aston Kutcher, Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, and the most recent fling between 48-year-old Linda

Hogan and 19-year-old Charlie Hill. According to a study of 50,000 women daters over 30, conducted by an online dating site in 2007, more than one-third of the subjects showed interest in men at least 5 years younger. And in 2003, an AARP survey revealed 34 percent of 3,500 women (between ages 40 and 69) dated men who are 10 or more years younger than themselves. This trend appears to be shocking to some people, but I don't find it so unusual. Socially, there's a role reversal of sorts going on, women are more powerful now than ever before and may want men who are younger, and perhaps, more flexible; men who can handle it if the woman's career and lifestyle takes priority over their own.

Media portrayals in "s*x and the City" (like movie characters Smith Jerrod and Samantha Jones) and "Desperate

Housewives" are also showing women that dates don't have to be older. Women who have high-powered careers -- or a well-developed self-image -- are exercising more choice. Women who have been divorced and are established single moms may enjoy having a playmate, someone to have fun with; who doesn't try to control her. Can these older woman/younger man relationships last? In my counseling office, I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario.

The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the

relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works. Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.

But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and

resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship. Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be.

If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem. Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A 10-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but a 20-year differences or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner.

But, as long as both parties are adult, and the couple has talked about their age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make

judgments about their respective ages. Dealing with the generation gap: There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation.One inappropriate motivation for dating a younger person is fear of aging on the older person's part. A younger partner isn't going to reverse the aging process or protect you from old age. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the biggest problems within the couple's relationship are differing maturity levels. As more and more women choose younger partners for relationships, the question arises: Are women in their late 30s and early 40s likely to be successful with partners who are 10 to 15 years younger than themselves? Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity. Sometimes an age difference creates a mentoring relationship the older person advises the younger one on life or career. This can backfire if and when the younger person decides he or she has learned enough, and wants to move on. If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for

Answer 9

age and years are just numbers

but numbers sometimes count

don't undersestimate them

however, i think that is the best age gap should be within 10 years limit

above that, it will be harder to cope, especially at youger ages.

However, as you get older, this gap will be less and less

i mean, 30 years old man and 20 years old girl is much bigger gap than 40 years old man and 30 years old girl

also, 50 years old man marrying 40 years old lady may not even notice any gap

now, lemme talk about your case:

- the good thing for you that your man will always see you the younger partner .. many men feel great about that, psychologically

"a man is as old as the woman he loves"

- Also, if you plan to get kids, then, pregnancy is physcially demanding. you find it easier to re-shape at younger ages, let's say below 35. For some women, this is important for their self-confidence.

there are two things to watch:

- the main risk with younger females, is that when they have not matured yet, emotionally. They are not sure about their feelings. This why you find love stories from high schools, that end up very boring before breaking up eventually when they get older. The girl finds out that she wants a different type of man.

If you say you are very mature, you need to go to real self-reflection, is this the person you want to spend your life with? Only one person in this world can answer this question. You!

- You should watch out, if you have such an age gap, do you have many things in common to discuss and talk about? Is he your friend in additon to your love? Or you like his romance, but you feel bored when you talk about serious things?

For example, he likes to watch news, but you feel you wanna party. Or he wants to go to museum during trips, but it just feels boring.

If this is happening, then might be a sign of an age gap, you might want to think about it and talk about it.

The good thing that you described him as very successful, and it is very positive thing, especially for men to continue success in life.

Best wishes.

Answer 10

If your 20 and hes in his 30's your old enough to get married if you want to.  if you have a connection and you feel its right, don't care what others think, do it.  do what will make you happy.

Answer 11

At the age of 20, a girl should not consider marriage to anyone, regardless of their age.

Answer 12

There's nothing wrong with it at all.  If you are unsure about marriage, however, wait awhile.  Age difference shouldn't matter, only how you feel about each other!

Be happy!