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Should a girlfriend demand how much her engagement ring should cost? Is price important?

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My brothers girlfriend wants a $5000 ring. Shes putting a guilt trip on him since he has two cars - one Mustang and one Cobra. The first car, he bought during school with the money he saved up after years of working at McDonalds in high school, and my father paid the other half. The second car, my brother bought with the money he saved after he finished college, a sort of graduation present for himself. He was a working student and is now a teacher. His girlfriend still has a $40,000 college loan to pay off, in addition to a $20,000 car loan. So basically shes still in debt even though she said she would pay off her loans before they marry. Its been 5 years now. My brother is debt-free since my father paid for his college expenses. As for his girlfriend, I dont think she should have "bought" the new car if she still had the college loans. Im disappointed that she didnt keep her promise to pay off the loans because she may make my brother take on her responsibility. They plan on buying a house and my brother is the only one with good credit. They also want my father to cosign. If the girlfriend still has debt, she shouldnt be buying expensive things, like Gucci bags. But I guess her family raised her with different values. Her fathers lazy, and her brothers are credit card happy.

I personally would be happy with any ring my boyfriend finds. My brothers gf isnt like Marge Simpson, who was happy with Homers onion 'ring'. ^_^

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19 ANSWERS


  1. she's a gold digger


  2. WOW.

    How rude.

    Sorry to say this but if the girl is more concerned with material things and how much they cost then the meaning behind them then she likes the things better than the meaning.

    I don't know any woman who really loves their boyfriend say "is that all?" when proposed to with any kind of ring.  A ring can be upgraded when funds permit and if it's a mutual decision but you can't buy back the hurt from having someone say "I'll marry you but only if you give me a $XXXX ring because anything else is an insult"

    What your brother afforded in the past is not a relection of what he can afford now or in the future.  If he can afford a 'cheaper' ring and present it with all the love in his heart then that's what he does because his love is priceless.  If that's not good enough for her then HE never will be as far as she's concerned.

  3. I definitely agree with the ones who say price should NOT matter! In all honesty she has no right demanding that he spends a certain ammount on a ring. Obviously, you do want a nice ring...but seriously, though. $5000?! Are you kidding me?! She should be satisfied and greatful for anything he decides to give her. A $200 (or less) ring can be just as beautiful and fancy as a $5000 one!

  4. The most important thing here isn't the ring, or any of the other financial details you've given.  There is an important conversation you need to have with your brother, though.  It will start with you asking him, "is this the kind of drama you want to have for the rest of your life?"  The way people are when they are dating, is the way they are.  Things only get worse after the wedding, never better, because people are on their best behavior while dating.  

    Let him know that if he marries her, you don't want to hear his complaints and financial woes afterwards, because he knows full well what she is like, and if he marries her he is choosing his future.

  5. What you've posted really does not make your brother's girlfriend look very good. You need to tell him that you think he might be in trouble with this woman. However, after that, whatever your brother decides to do is his own business.

  6. if she really loved you then she shouldn't care if it came out of a gumball machine....just like women who want the $25k wedding...WTF?? get married in the parking lot and buy a house instead...the definition of 'status' is "buying things you can't afford to impress people you don't like"

  7. If he has no debt and plans to be with her forever then I don't think $5,000 is unreasonable at all. It's a little more than I would tell him to spend but it's not outrageous.  

  8. Only gold-diggers do that. (I know of a sincere but poor guy who proposed with a cubic zirconia instead of a diamond; she had it appraised and dumped him.) Her behaviour, not just in the ring issue, is a massive red flag. And five years is a long time. Perhaps the two of them should have a good talk and set some things down before they go any further.

  9. She shouldn't care how much the ring is.  If she is that worried about the price of the ring are you sure she loves him or the money?    She is probably going to want a huge expensive wedding also.  I think your brother should not give in to her and think long and hard if he is doing the right thing by marring her, because it is only going to get worse once they are married.

  10. To a mature woman, no, price is not important. The ring is symbolic of the promise to marry.

    Nice that you are concerned about your brother, too bad he won't listen t sense - but maybe you can try, gently.

    Sounds like he's in love with being in love, and isn't thinking with his brain. So many of these things about her raise big red flags...

  11. He needs to lose her...She does sound like a witch. Why dont you have a talk with her and set her straight? Price is not important!!!!!! She would be grossed out then with the price of my ring then since it cost less than $1000...Wow some ppl are so materialistic.

  12. Just ask her: "DO YOU LOVE MY BROTHER OR THE RING?"

    She's way out of line, especially since she's pointing fingers at other people, where she is supposed to point them at herself. She's taking advantage of the sensitivity of your brother. You know him more, so talk to him about it and make him realize what's right in front of him.

  13. What a materialistic B***** Really. If it ever happens for me, I don't' want to know how much the ring would cost. Who cares anyway? Selfish people only want that information for bragging rights.

    How moronic. He should find himself a nice and unpretentious girl.

  14. I don't see this as your problem... so count your blessings. "Woohoo! Not my life!"

  15. Price is only important to people who are NOT IN LOVE and are extremely self absorbed, materialistic, immature, BRATS! Your brother better hope she keeps her promise of paying off her debt BEFORE marrying her. What he really ought to do is dump her and find a new love who will love him for HIM and not WHAT HE CAN DO AND GET for her.

  16. i dont think she sounds like the kind of girl i ld wnat my brother to be with ....my guy and i have the other type of issue ..i dont think the cost of a ring should matter i actually like a set thats under 300 and he thinks that its too cheap...its not the cost or size and if she cant see that then ild ditch her

  17. Sounds like she (you brothers girl) knows what buttons to press : (

    Unfortunately this story is very common. Issue lies in bad relationship choice, & what brings people together (sometimes people get stuck in abusive relationships & stay, for fear of rocking the boat, they put up with the c**p).

    Question: What star sign is your brother (a water sign eg; Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio) or perhaps a Libra? What about her? (firey dominant Leo, Aries) or perhaps Gemini? Do tell ....

    I recommend for you to check out their dynamics at

    http://astrologyzone.com/lifelove/matchm...

    Basically your brother sounds like he needs support from you & your dad, & a good talking too from your dad... to make some points clear, before he makes a mistake of marrying this blood sucking leach!

    The equation is simple from what you explained, she has MASSIVE debt, your brother has assets, she is pestering him AND your dad to get a mortage on a house! Look a $40,000 yearly salary is NOT big money, especially for someone who has a debt of $60,000. My god, I would be steering clear of her, she needs to prove she can manage her debts & get her financial affairs in order, not bring it to the relationship (marriage) as a major negative debit. I feel for your brother, this situation will only be indicative of what he will be IN FOR for the rest of his life if he gets stuck with her.

    No woman demands $5,000 for a ring !!! Ha ha ha I am laughing as she does not even know why the ring would cost that much, and what an engagement ring consists of....

    I think it is even more funny, as she is obviously from a uneducated uncooth background, and has no style or awareness herself of being a real woman, as if she had any class ... she would have demanded a 2 carat, Princess cut, D, IF, Ex, Ex, Ex, Diamond, which alone would cost your poor brother $20,000++   A real lady DOES NOT talk money!

    Kick her to the curb I say.

    You can help him ....seems like you need to introduce your brother to some new talent (girls). Get him interested in someone else QUICK SMART.

    Good Luck.

  18. "Should a girlfriend demand how much her engagement ring should cost? Is price important? "

    Thats just wayyy disrespectful ...h**l no.......

    The Price isnt important.. what's important is the love and joy in the relationship

  19. Sounds like your brother needs some second thoughts as going into marriage with debts, non saving spouse and demandin spouse at that, is setting him up for divorce. I hate to be that blunt but...he is.

    They need to go to financial counseling. Before they get married, she needs to at least pay off part of her school loan and part of her car. (payment plans) automatically deducted from her paycheck.

    She has bad credit for a reason.

    Does he truly want to buy a house with her?

    Family needs to voice their concerns, but not tell him what to do exactly. He has to decide that on his own with family support.

    My husband got me a ring, not about the price, but about the meaning. 1) he wanted to take the next step 2) It is a sapphire heart. My favorite color/gem AND a heart to symbolize the love.  

    My engagement ring was my ring for the wedding as couldn't afford the wedding ring I want. for 1 year anniv, I got a sapphire butterly to wear as my wedding ring til we can save up for the one I want custom designed. So if that takes 10 years, then so be it. (I wanted my engagement ring to be kept nice so I put it away and wear it on special occasions).  

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