Should a man be held responsbile for children that isn't his?

Question

I saw an episode of Dr Phil (very randomly- never watch the show) and it was about a man fighting the courts so he can stop paying child support. Apparently as the story goes is that he was married and his wife had an affair. 10 years later he finds out his daughter isn't his and requests to stop paying child support and basically the court says its his fault for not finding out sooner and its either pay or be punished.

The other interesting part is that his wife is now living with the other man she cheated with. LOL this is was insane- i couldn't turn away from the screen.

Also Gloria Alrud (famous attorney) was on the show arguing that the defrauded man SHOULD continue paying up.

Your thoughts?

Oh and this question was spurred from the "mandatory paternity test" question from earlier.

Answer 1

Legally speaking, a man who is not the biological father is not responsible for supporting the child.  This whole issue should be moot as the biological father is now living with her, and he should automatically be supporting that child.  In fact I would like to see the courts demand he pay restitution to the ex husband who supported his child over the years.  But, of course, that will never happen.

I have no use for Gloria Alred.  She is a man-hating vulture, preying upon the public at large, especially males.

Answer 2

No, I don't think so. If a man has a wife and a child belongs to another man, then I think the husband should stop taking the responsibility and divorce his wife.

Answer 3

NO! he should not pay ( I hate these bloody programs that are up there own bottom) the child is not his and by Law he should be able to prove he has no responsibility for the child..the real father has however and should be hunted down to the ends of the earth to face up to his responsibility.

Answer 4

NO!!! Only if he adopts.

Answer 5

There are a lot of unanswered questions. At 10 years old, did the mother tell the child that her assumed father was not her father? Does the husband want any visitation rights or does he just want the child to know the truth and go on with his life. He took care of that child for 10 years so It shouldn't be easy to walk away. Has the birth certificate been changed? Maybe the husband should first push to get the birth certificate changed then try to stop child support payments. If his name is on the birth certificate, he is legally responsible. But I do agree, that was a horrible thing for his wife to do, and he surely didn't deserve it, no one does.

Edit: If his name is still on the birth certificate, he should try to get custody of the child (assuming he cares for her as his daughter) and then ask for child support from the mother. The child would be better off in the long run to not be raised by such a w***e of a mother.

Answer 6

Hmmmm....if he want's nothing to do with the child than no, there's no reason for him to pay.  On the other hand you can't have it both ways.  He may not be the "father" but he has been the "dad" and if he wants to continue to be the "dad" then some sort of arrangment needs to be made.  Possibly where he doesn't pay support to the mother but does pay for extra curricular activites...girl scouts or soccer or dance???  It's a very ugly situation.

Answer 7

I think that is wrong, because if the roles were reversed she'd be fighting against the husband for infidelity!

This whole situation seems more Springer than Dr. Phil, but I guess when you bail out chicks that beat up other chicks you gotta do anything for ratings.

The guy was duped, and I don't think he should have to pay child support if he doesn't want to.

Poor kid.

Answer 8

Dont marry a ho, problem solved, or better yet, do not marry at all. It is a sick joke on men nowdays.

Answer 9

Although the child is not his biological child, he has raised the daughter as though she is his own. While he should definitely NOT be forced to pay child support, I bet he would be going through some kind of emotional struggle of what he should do.

The courts shouldn't force him to do ANYTHING at this point. The wife cheated, she's a tramp. She had an illegitimate child with another man - who the other man should be supporting.

However, it would be incredibly sad if this man stopped associating the little girl as his daughter. She spent her whole life calling him daddy. She's going to have some of those "daddy issues" everyone talks about for sure.

Answer 10

So  he thought it was his baby then found out....of course he would love her as his own

hm.....Why did the natural father dispute it and take over  her financial needs once found out that he is the bio dad?

No, it has nothing to do with loving the girl,,this is money

I think he should sue the guy that knocked up his wife for the payments and also for breaking up his family

He should not be responsible ...

Answer 11

There is absolutely no reason a man should be forced to pay for a child that is not his.  The whole notion of "assumed paternity" is ridiculous and antiquated. This is the belief that because he assumed the child was his and he supported this child he should continue to do so. It stems from premedical knowledge of paternity to assure that a man didn't leave his children uncared for just because he was done with his wife. With the medical knowledge we have now, a man can be assured of the paternity of a child and should no longer be held to this obligation.

He shouldn't be forced to pay.    "Assumed Paternity"..pff....ridiculous.  His only mistake was in assuming that his wife wasn't a w***e.

Edit: Wow!  After seeing the link I am appalled at the level of manipulation these people are capable of.  Even his "daughter" shows more disappointment towards her victimized "father" than she does towards her lying mother.  It just goes to show that for a man he is often damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

Answer 12

This scenario has always ticked me off! I only had s*x with one guy, an outstanding reputation in the community, and had to submit a paternity test. This is because of women like that. I have friends who are receiving money from guys who didn't get tested who should have. It's an outrage.

The premise is they were married at the time. Bull! How is he supposed to know she was a tramp? I have a son and I'd be charged with whooping the wife's and Gloria's *** before he paid one red cent!

Answer 13

Never trust a woman when it comes to pregnancy. Women are untrustworthy and a man must insist on a DNA test before handing over money.

Answer 14

Legally, the husband should not have to pay child support for a child he did not father. If he wants to

out of love then he should. But if the wife leaves

the marriage to be with the natural father of her child then the ex is off the hook. Dr. Phil is just

a muck racker who loves to promote this kind of

c**p. Isn't it amazing how much people get worked

up over this stuff. These kind of people also

believe that the National Enquirer prints legit

news articles.

Answer 15

No way a man in this position should continue paying for a child that was not his to begin with. This is probably the only reason for my supporting the "mandatory paternity test" idea. Either he should be given the option to stop paying for her "family expenses", or she should man up and desist from receiving his payments, which she isnt doing. We all know that there is a specific word that refers to such women.

Answer 16

if he still wants to be in her life and considers himself the father, he should keep paying.

what? the mom should be forced to share custody, but he doesn't have to help pay for his daughter that he "loves"? i know that biologically she isn't his, but he raised her as such and she shouldn't be punished because of her parent's issues.

Answer 17

No. That's not fair. I mean when a man cheats on his wife and has a baby with the other woman the wife shouldn't be held responsible, that would be extremely stupid. Same goes for a man who's wife cheats and has a baby with another man.

I think it's fantastic that he still loves the girl who he thought was his daughter and wants to be in her life, but the mom doesn't deserve child support from him. The girls real father should be helping out too, especially if the mom is now living with him for pete's sake.

Answer 18

Not really.

Answer 19

that is just NOT FAIR...

his wife cheated on him, ran away with the man she cheated with.. and that man is paying for a child that is "unethical" and belongs to the man she is currently living with... why the h**l should he pay for him?

The judge simply lacks a fully functional brain! that's all...

but no worries... after all its just a TV show where "people are good when the script says so."..!!

Answer 20

I think he's only held responsible because the courts believe it is of benefit to the child to have enough money for a stable quality of life and for the father he/she has a relationship with to remain in their life. It's not a punishment for not finding out sooner, it's supposed to protect the kid's best interests

In this case, if the child now has this relationship with the other father and that father is supporting the child, then the non-biological father should have no legal obligation to continue to support the child. *Especially* finacially, that apparently being the key to the issue.

Although my first thought of all is "poor kid". Can't be nice to have someone you thought of as your father fighting, and going on TV, in order to get you out of his life.

Answer 21

I think in these cases the woman should have to pay the man some kind of severance pay for all the years that he was their dad and for all the years that it takes him to get over the fact that it's not really his child:they should also have to pay the child some kind of  payment for letting them believe that is their dad then to tell them"Ooops my bad"  DNA testing on married couples would stop this kind of  mental anguish!!!

Answer 22

no, i dont think he should have to continue paying and i think that she should have to pay him back the money she took from him knowing that the child wasnt his to begin with (i assume that the child belongs to the guy she is living with - you didnt say).....one way that i can think of that he can get his money back, or at least some of it is to sue her in civil court....it isnt really clear from your post about whether the divorce took place before he found out about the affair and his non-paternity or after.....one would think that if he helped to raise the child for any length of time he would have fallen in love with that child (his or not) and probably wouldnt have minded paying support for it.......no, this is a totally wrong situation and another example of how poorly our justice system works (or doesnt)