Should a person who has given children up for adoption be able to adopt a child at a later date?

Question

I am a birthmother of 4 children. Two given up for adoption one who has passed away and the son I have with my husband. Should I be able to adopt a child at a later date now that I am unable to get pregnant? Or is it not fair because I gave the two other children I had up for adoption?

Answer 1

I think you have every right to adopt a baby if you want to. I think you could have a very sensitive insight into the whole process and I see no reason why you shouldn't adopt a baby if you want to.

Answer 2

There are some who think that anyone who has placed children for adoption shouldn't parent *any* child after that.  There are also those who argue that by having more children after placing a child for adoption will negatively impact that child placed for adoption.

The truth of the matter is, that impact on your children that you placed for adoption has already occurred.  If you parented before placing and kept the older children, that could be an issue for the adoptee.  If you birth more children after placing the other child for adoption, that could be an issue for the adoptee.    If you adopt children after placing a child for adoption, that could be an issue for the adoptee.

The point is, your reproduction is in your hands.  You cannot live your life out of fear of making the adoption loss worse for the children you placed for adoption.

Answer 3

Sure they should.  Adoption is a family choice available for any one to pursue, just like having a baby.  Everyone has the right to make the choices that are best for them at whichever point they're at in thier lives.

Answer 4

A good home for a kid shouldn't be thrown away because someone tinks it's "unfair." Much better that the child should be with you than in a lovng enviroment than left in foster-care or group homes.

Answer 5

Yes, if all else is equal  (meaning that you qualify for adoption just like anyone else).

Of course, all these facts must be disclosed to the birthmother of the child you may adopt.  She is the one who needs to decide whether this is o.k. with her -- not us!

Answer 6

Do it. You gave your two up with love, and you can adopt with love. That's all that matters.

Answer 7

i would hope you would want to adopt your own children .... if not your life doesnt make sense to me you gave up ur children likely becuase you didnt have the money to pay for them and now i guess you are financially stable and you want the responsibility of someone eles child.....you dont make sense to me

Answer 8

Absolutely. When you adopted those kids out, you were saying I love you so much, I can't provide you the life you deserve, but these people can. To give away something we love for it to have a better chance is very unselfish.

Answer 9

Yes, I see no problem with that.  People don't always have control over their circumstances when they are young.

You should know that 60% of birthmothers never have any more children (usually not through choice) and 15% of those adopt because they are unable to have more children.

Answer 10

once you are in a different and better position now, than you were when you had to give up your first children and you can prove that you have the finances to support a child will treat it right etc, i don't see why you should have a problem. for example if before you could not financially support your children and had to give them up, but now you are in a much better position financially, you should not be barred. good luck!

Answer 11

I am not even sure if it would be legal.  I don't think you should be able to because just think about how that would make your biological feel who you gave up.  Their mom didn't want them but they wanted someone else's kid.  That would tear them up!

Answer 12

I see why not

Giving a child up you could not raise at the time, does not mean you can not love children, or raise them know

If I was a birthmother, I would consider you, because you know what I am dealing with

Answer 13

Of course you should be able to.  All your reproductive and parenting decisions should be your own.  Everyone's decisions are based on where they are in their life AT THE TIME they make the decision, and if you wish to adopt now, you should do so.  

The other half of the question is honesty.  As an adoptive parent, you will have to present a profile to potential birth parents who might choose to place their child with you.  Reveal that you placed two children yourself.  If it influences their decision, for you or against you, that's part of the equation too.

Answer 14

My birth father did.  I was given up in 1966 and he adopted 2 children in the early 80's.  Not really a problem.  I think he now can see things full circle and can empathize better with his children's birth parents.  How could it be unfair?  Think of it this way:  You gave two kids to the system.  You should be entitled to two adoptions.

Answer 15

I'm going to get a 100 thumbs down for this, but I going to say it anyway. I would think my dear you are a great advertisement for the adoption industry. Its a wondeful thing to give a child a home, But it would have been greater if this system and this society had supported you and helped you along when you had your two children...you are probably making up for that guilt, so great and good for the child you are about to adopt..I feel for you.

Answer 16

I dont see any reason why not. People usually give up children for adoption because of social and economic reasons (ie they are usually too young or too poor to be able to look after them.)

If these circumstances change over time there is no reason why they should not be able to consider adoption at a later stage in their life

Answer 17

I am not sure that is kind of a tough question I am not really sure. If I had to give an answer I would say no you probably shouldn't be able to.

Answer 18

i could understand that you may feel guilty about adopting a child when you have given one of your own up for adoption.  I'm sure that your circumstance when you gave your child up was different then the one you are in now.  i don't know how long ago you did this and i am assuming that it was a long time ago.  But i believe that you have are now in a very good position to do so where you can financial, and emotionally support and be there for this new child that you are wanting to adopt then why not...good luck!

Answer 19

really that a hard one ... personally  i dont think it should be allow.

Answer 20

I don't see how there would be any problem. I had to place my son (who is now 2 1/2) for adoption when he was born as I couldn't take care of him as he should be cared for, but if I cannot have children later in life, I'd love to adopt and give a child a loving home they otherwise wouldn't get. If there had been any way for me to have kept my son, I would have done so. I have a lot of love to give to a child, and so long as you do as well, no one should be able to tell you that you cannot adopt a child.

Answer 21

First of all I just want to tell you that you are such a strong woman that other women should be looking up too.  I can't even imagine how much pain you have felt over the years.  It takes one h**l of a woman to be able to give her child up for adoption... that is the most selfless act that anyone could do for another human being.

You shouldn't have to listen to a whole bunch up hostile yuppies tell you that you are evil for giving your children up and then wanting to adopt now.  What the h**l do they know?  They probably haven't done anything for anyone else their whole lives!  In the end it is you and your husbands decision about adopting another child.  If you are both ready, then go ahead and do it!!  Don't let the yuppies fill your head with bull-p**p... I wish you all the best of luck and just remember that you are a great person who deserves children!  Don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise!!

Answer 22

I think the most important thing you should know is that there are children in this world who need homes.  They are not picky and do not want rich parents.  They just want love.  If you are willing to take a child (or more) into your home and love them unconditionally then I fully believe you should have the chance to provide for a child in need.

I always think it's very admiral that a person is able to give their child to a set parents who will be able to take better care of that child.  It's a true sacrifice that only a woman who has given birth knows.

Answer 23

I dont see why not, however it may be hard to tell your birth children who may search for you one day that you gave them up...but adopted other kids later....

If you are in a different position than you were when you gave up your first children then I see no issue. The state may have a different set of rules so I would talk to family services or an adoption agency about qualifications etc.

Good luck to you!

:-)