Should a preschool director and the classroom teacher send out a letter to parents telling them that they need

Question

to meet with the parents four days later. This is to discuss their child's behavior and her safety and the safety of others. This meeting is required in order for the child to stay in the school. This is a two year old class. No other communication was ever brought to the parent's attention pryer to this note.

Answer 1

I would suggest that you do whatever the school has laid out for you to do.  I cannot imagine that there is a school out there without some sort of policy.

I was in charge of compliance for an office once, and there were HUGE hurdles I had to jump through as I found non-compliant issues...

Answer 2

if it means the safety of the others and her yes asap

Answer 3

I would also wonder how much time you have been in contact with the teacher over time. At my day care, we have a lot of parents who drop off and pick up in 5 minutes flat. They are always in a hurry and do not seem interested in hearing anything about their child's day. I am not saying that you are like this, but maybe the teacher has parents like this and that may contribute to the lack of previous information.

Answer 4

Find another school that's used to dealing with 2 year old behavior, and yes you should have been told all along if there were issues with your child

Answer 5

I agree . Parents need to be update regulary as to how their child is doing . That way if there is an issue it can be addressed before the child gets comfortable with a behaviour that is not acceptable .

  I think there should be communication lines opened up day one with everyone . Teacher , parents , and anyone else involved in the childs day to day . Too many parents think once a child is dropped off at an institution that their responsibility is lessened . Teachers or care givers also should openly give updates as to how children are doing .

My son had problems on the bus . He is autistic . The bus driver yelled at his kiddnergarden teacher , who called me about it . She asked if the bus driver had mentioned anything about his behaviour . I told her NO ,neither of us knew there was an ongoing issue because noone brought it to our attention . If it is not brought to our attention then we dont see there being a problem . Simple as that . SO yes I agree with what you are saying

they should have contacted or sent a note home as soon as something happened or became a concern , that way everyone involved with your child could have came up with a plan to stop what ever is going on .

Answer 6

well sure - this IS their way of telling you they need to speak about this child's behavior.  How else are you supposed to tell them?

Answer 7

I agree... the issue should have been brought up in person, the moment the teacher noticed some behavior of concern.  Then, communication should have been going on each day at pickup time, so the parent was well aware of the situation in the classroom.  It is unfair to spring it on the parent when they don't even have a clue that anything is going on.  However, you also mentioned that this is a TWO YEAR OLD child...  Are the behaviors really THAT out of the norm?  Two year olds have lots of "problem behaviors"... they hit, pinch, bite, scream, throw tantrums, and say "NO"- all of which are developmentally appropriate!!  Is this child attempting to communicate with them?  Does the child have a vocabulary?  Have they tried other alternative methods to enable the child to communicate their wants and needs?  Have they done a behavior assessment to find out the function of the behavior?  Have they looked into WHY the child is doing what they are doing?  For attention, communication, avoidance, sensory issue?  All behavior communicates something.  It is the teacher's job to figure out what the communication is!  If they need help figuring it out, they need to contact a Behavior Specialist to come do a functional behavior analysis (you can contact one through the local school district or mental health).  At any rate, the parent has the right to know there is a problem BEFORE the behavior reaches a point where the teacher/director is ready to expell a two year old from preschool.  No child should be expelled based on behavior- teachers need to learn to work with behaviors.

Answer 8

I have to agree with you.  How can a parent know about the problem unless they are told.  The longer it goes the harder it is to take care of.  If I was called to school in a situation such as this I would tell them that right away.  I also do not believe it is fair to punish the entire class for something you know just one child is responsible for which happens all the time in life.

Answer 9

It depends on the behavioral problem

sometimes some kids like adults have bad days/weeks

and yes, someone in the school should have told you that your child was a little off or if any fighting was involved

At my school, we fill out a behavioral report that the parent has to sign when they come in to get their child

However, behavioral issue can be anything- it can be that they're putting random things in their mouth, crying for no reason, putting their hands in their diaper- anything that isn't normal for that child can be written down.

Also- most children need to adjust to certain things

if your child is new to that classroom then the teacher may have seen it first as that the child is trying to fit in

Right now, I have a child that's going through that- He is easily upset when any other child mentions "mommy" or "daddy."  So, he is prone to being bullied by the other two year olds.  Do I tell his mother that?  Not in those exact words- I have told her that her son is a little sensitive and not used to being in school all day yet (he was half days from Sept-Dec.).  Some days he doesn't cry at all while other days he does.

I would mention to the school that you feel that if your child was/is having adjustment issues that you need to be notified.

I wouldn't get yourself all pumped up with anger until you attend the meeting.  If the school does not meet up to your standards then you should find a school that will.

Good luck.

Answer 10

You are right the teacher and director should have come to you immediately after the day ended and told you the behavior's they observed. Then they should get your input on his behavior at home and how you handle it. Then they should put together a plan to help your son succeed in the class. ( Reward system for good behavior?) It sounds like the director and teacher are afraid of confrontation, Instead of talking to you they sent a letter! Very unprofessional!

Answer 11

Well...if thy want to discuss your child with you, how else are they to meet you if they dont ask?

Answer 12

No, they should have sent out a letter or called as soon as they realized that the parents should be contacted.  Especially if the child's safety or others is in danger.  The parents should be notified asap.

Answer 13

If they've got concerns about safety, aren't you GLAD they're taking action on this?

Go to the meeting and try hard not to react defensively to whatever the issue is.  

Thank god for concerned teachers and schools.

If anything's wrong, it's easy to fix it at age two.  Much harder to fix it later.

And remember:  a lot of times, it's the smart/independent-minded/energetic kids who cause trouble.  The same traits that make kids tough to deal with can really work for them, later in life.

Answer 14

teachers and school administrators should be communicating with parents on a regular basis. it'd be great if they'd let parents know when problem behaviors first arise so that all concerned can work on it together. it's best to create a plan to help the child at home and at school so the child is getting consistent messages.

however, there are times when teachers are busy and forget one of the millions of details that they have to keep track of. there are also busy parents who may not have time to chat with the staff. and there are times where it's really hard to communicate with parents - tensions, defensive behaviors by staff or parents, different attitudes about working with children, etc.

so...my recommendation is for the parent to do whatever is asked of them in this note. work with the staff and be open to their suggestions. then, as politely as possible, inform them that you'd like to be kept up to date and to check in regularly. on your next pick up ask, 'how did it go today? any changes or problems?' and make it clear you are ok hearing when it was a rough day.

good luck!

Answer 15

I would definitely question the way this was done. If the behavior of the child has really been that bad, parents should have been informed all along. If the parents had been told right away of behavior concerns, the behaviors could have been dealt with long before this serious sounding letter was required!

It is the responsibility of the teacher and the director to keep the parent/teacher relationship open, and to discuss any concerns about a child with the parent. To have let it get to this point, and to "blind-side" a parent with this kind of letter is a little out of line.