Should a seven year old boy still go in the public restroom with his mother?

Question

My son is seven years old and whenever we are out shopping, I make him go in the woman's restroom with me. He is the only boy out of my three children so if he went in the men's bathroom he would have to go alone if my husband is not with us, and I am afraid that someone may attempt to do something to him. The other day, a woman made a big deal about him going in the woman's bathroom. She said he was too old, and she didn't appreciate it since her little girl was also present. I told her I thought the last thing on a seven year old boy's mind was looking at her daughter. Besides, it isn't like it is open bathrooms. I was really offended. My son has Asperber's, and I have to watch him closely sometimes. I am quite sure he wouldn't know what to do if a man attempted to sexually assault him. Does anyone else feel the same way this woman, and if so, what would you suggest I do?

Answer 1

Absolutely NOT in most cases.  Allow him to go to the bathroom by himself... and stand at the door and watch that he comes out in a reasonable time. In your case, with Asperber's, I see no problem with him going in with you, however.  You may need to explain to those who are shocked.  There's nothing wrong with explaining. I have a 32 year old son with C.P., and if we are alone, I take him into the women's. They can get over it.

Answer 2

No , i know it's hard for you but what you are doing is not right^^

Maybe if you stand outside the mens room waiting for him it'll be ok

Answer 3

Better be safe than sorry! You do well to stay with your children while in a public bathroom and...never mind if your boy is 7 or 10 years old and that you go into a ladies' bathroom.

This lady was out of line and seems to have a perv....mind ?! A false prude , maybe??

When my son was a little older e.g. 11-12 years old, i'd let him go to the men's room but I would ALWAYS positioned myself right outside the men's room entrance and open the door (without peeking of course) and ask in a loud voice if he was fine so that any ill-intentioned person inside would know that somebody was watching the little one.

Go with your gut feeling and don't bother if some hyper-sensitive people do not agree. If you don't feel comfortable letting your son alone, don't do it. Anyway, this seems to be a real problem in the States. In Europe, in public places like cafés, restaurants, etc...you may not always have a choice between a men's or a ladíes bathroom because... it "caters" to both sexes if I may express myself so.

Do what you feel is right and... forget about the false prudes of this world.

Hope this helps.

Edit :

what is wrong with "traffic"?? Do we still live in the Middle- Ages where you hide your children ? In Europe, girls and boys are raised together, take their bath together and do not even find it strange that the other gender is different .This is part of the "natural, normal " way of bringing up our children.  It is NATURAL.

Also, the mom is talking about going into the ladies'room with her son not about helping him pee.

Maybe it is time that Americans start to focus on what is important in life and not blow out of proportion situations that are normal. What would she do if her daughter suffered some kind of disease and couldn't defend herself in some situation? Let her go alone in the women's bathroom where there are also dangerous people? This is not the prorogative of men only! Would she have let her daughter go alone into the bathroom ? I would ask them that, next time somebody makes a remark and, never mind if it is your daughter or your son you take into the public restroom.

Answer 4

keep your baby near you period, forget what other people think.

Answer 5

Who cares what she thought. Hes your child and its whatever YOU feel is best.

Answer 6

Seven years old isn't too old to go with Mom in the woman's bathroom. AND since your son is a PWD, I think I'd be a little more careful than ordinary.

You did the right thing - but don't be offended. Just look at the woman with a disgusted look - one that would melt steel - and ask her if she would feel better if you allowed some pedophile molest your autistic child? (Asperberger's is a form of autism - so milk it, baby) And if so, please wait while you called the authorities to have her daughter removed from her custody on the grounds that she is a potentially dangerous and negligent parent.

Then lead your precious son into the stall and let him do his business.

Answer 7

She was a stupid prude. Your limit should be when your son feels ashamed of walking into the ladies room. If that hasn't happened yet, don't worry. But please do not embarrass your son forcing him if he doesn't want to.

Answer 8

I would just worry about his safety. It doesn't matter what other people think. As long as he is okay, what's the harm? If other women think that's bad why don't they wait until he's out?

Answer 9

Once they're older than 5, they should be allowed to go by themselves.  If you're worried, just send him in there but you wait outside.  Nobody who sees a parent waiting outside is going to try anything.  Instruct your son to just get in and get out, don't dawdle and don't talk to strangers.  I would be concerned if I saw a 7-year-old boy in a women's restroom, that is too old unless they are obviously handicapped.  And it's not so much that we worry about them seeing anything, it's more that it's not socially healthy for them to not go to the bathroom by themselves at that age.

Answer 10

As a mother you make decisions that are right for you and your child. As humans our decisions are seldom the same as others. never the same as everyones.

I myself have a 9 year old son. He is almost 10 and I just recently started letting him go to the bathroom alone. I know many may not agree with me but that's fine. We are all allowed our point of view and opinion. I do look in the bathroom door first to make sure there are no "naked little girls" hanging around, etc. But as previosly stated it's not like the stalls are open and your sons in there watching people. I have never run into someone who has gotten upset about it but if I did I would ask them if they have young children.  Alot of times the people that get upset about things have never been in the situation they are judging.

You continue to do what you feel is right for you and your child. As long as your not hurting anyone else, the people that don't agree can get over it. There are alot bigger problems in the world then a 7 year old boy in the girls bathroom, if there weren't we wouldn't have to worry about them going in the men's alone!

Answer 11

my son is five and a half and he goes to the mens on his own...what i do is stand outside the mens bathroom n wait for him, if he takes too long i call out his name n c whats the hold up. if i am n a hurry he will come with me but he is too old to b n a womens bathroom with little girls, it may make them feel uncomfortable.

ur son is definitely too old to b n womens bathroom but as his mother if u feel unsafe having him go n mens bathroom alone then u have that right to take him with u, however what is that doing for his independence as a young man that he cant even p**s on his own. if he is ill he still needs to know how to be indepedent and not have to follow mommy into the bathroom when hes 10.

my son closes the door when he tinkles now n likes to change alone, he knows hes different than mommy. ur son needs to b aware that little girls may b startled by him being n a womens bathroom.

Answer 12

The woman was way out of line and if I had been there I would have told her to stick her drama where the sun never shines; as to your son, you are quite right, even without the Aspberger's(sp) there are too many wackos and perverts out there, Adam Walsh was six and he was abducted from Sears so it is always wise to err on the side of caution. Never let any stranger bully you into thinking otherwise.