Should adults who were abused as children be allowed to adopt children?

Question

"In one long-term study, as many as 80 percent of young adults who had been abused met the diagnostic criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder at age 21. These young adults exhibited many problems, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide attempts (Silverman, Reinherz, & Giaconia, 1996). Other psychological and emotional conditions associated with abuse and neglect include panic disorder, dissociative disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, depression, anger, posttraumatic stress disorder, and reactive attachment disorder (Teicher, 2000; De Bellis & Thomas, 2003; Springer, Sheridan, Kuo, & Carnes, 2007)."

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm

Answer 1

Thank you for criminalizing mental illness.  

Hey, maybe if we don't allow ANYONE to have children if they've got any sort of mental or emotional difficulties, we could kill off the entire human race really fast!

Answer 2

This question makes me feel sick!

YES we should

As a matter of fact some of us who survived actually make better parents because we are aware of it & NEVER want to put our children through that.

Stuff that research!

I haven't adopted children, but I do have 5 of my own & would NEVER do to them what was done to me.

We have more empathy towards these kids as we know what to look out for.

If someone believes every little bit of "research" they read, they are the ones that need to be institutionalised as not all are the correct facts and can be quite biassed.

Answer 3

I really don’t think so. Its like saying that anyone abused as a child is going to go on to be an abuser towards children. That certainly is not the case I would also think someone who was abused would want better for their child and make sure that they never face the horrors that they had too.  Grant it in some cases it would/will  happen I don’t know the statistics but often times I have read abusers were abused in some way or fashion. Take Dave Pelzer author of “A child called It”, he was terrible abused by his mother, whom had been abused by her mother. From his books I get the impression that it was more emotional abuse/putting her down that his grandmother did to his mother. Yet his mom inflicted both that and physical on him. Dave does not abuse his son, and turned his abuse to help other kids who are abused.

I don’t think that we can punish  everyone in a group in this case former abused children for what some might do.  What about biological parents who have been abused as children? Should they also be prevented from having children out of fear that they will turn around one day and abuse their child?   The answer is no, no more then someone who is abused should be prevented from adopting. On another note it would also seem that perhaps someone who was abused as a child  could greatly help out a child / teen that has been abused. They truly know where that person was at, yet they can show them that “Hey you can raise up above the horrors that happened to you.”

Answer 4

Maybe they could after an intense mental evaluation... My husband has problems... and he went through this as a child.. and I have a hard time to deal with him... It's just natural for them to be the way they saw the adults when they grew up.. it's really sad... and you can't change them for anything...

Answer 5

When we did our home study we were asked if we were ever abused and we even had to fill in a questionnaire that asked us if we were abused either physically, sexually or emotionally when we were children. I suspected that they believed if you were the chances were quite high that you would do the same. As one social worker said: "you raise as you were raised."

I think this is unfair. A child is not responsible for the actions of adults. The abuse was not their fault and they should not have to pay anymore for the sickness of others. By not allowing them to become a parent, I think we are instilling the old fear of feeling dirty or I got what was coming to me or that I'm worthless.

I think adults that were abused could actually be an asset to children who themselves may have been abused. They would understand and could be instrumental towards healing.

I think they should be judged on the same criteria as PAPs who were not abused.

They were not responsible for what happened to them as children, but they are 100% responsible for how they handle it and conduct their lives now. Meaning they have dealt (but not necessarily "gotten over it"), but have a healthy handle on it and recognize that it wasn't their fault and that of course they would never inflect that abuse on any child.

PAPs will not be approved to adopt if they have any emotional disturbances or mental illness regardless of whether or not it stems from childhood abuse.

Answer 6

You make me sick...

Answer 7

My god this is such an insult to me. I was abused and I had a traumatic adoption ( i was actually adopted INTO an abusive home then fostered out then adopted again).

I may have problems associated with it such as some depression and anger but am a passionate, caring and sympathetic person.

I am studying to work with children because I want to provide children with the best experiences because I know what it's like to have a c**p childhood and providing a safe, warm and inviting centre environment I can at least help increase children's resilience with. I want to give children happy memories because that's what childhood should be about.

Mental "disorders" have nothing to do with a persons ability to care for a child. Society only views it that way. Most people who are mentally ill very very rarely act violently unless they  have anger problems. This is a very ignorant statement and it is obvious that you have never experienced the pain of abuse or mental illness. There is a person behind mental illness. I think if I adopted I would have so much more understanding about what that child went through and be able to talk to them about it because I have the first hand experience that a lot of adoptive parents don't have.  I don't plan on adoption, but I believe I am fully capable of rearing a child, in fact I have more motivation to make childrens lives as meaningful and happy as possible.

Answer 8

Well everyone here certainly knows how I stand on adoption.

BUT...

Nobody stops formerly abused people from HAVING kids, so....wouldn't that be a pretty horrible double-standard?  JMHO.

I dunno.

Oi I must have a hangover from the July 4 festivities...

Answer 9

83% of police officers currently employed in the US were once convicted of a crime.

Answer 10

So does that mean if you were abused and you have kids that they should be taken away. I dodnt think that all people turn out like there parents. I do think that you should be tested to make sure that you would give that child ever thing that they need.

Answer 11

Ah, I see Hitler is alive and well.  Sure Vilma -- let's not only discriminate all those misfortunate souls who endured abuse as children, let's just eliminate them in mass genocide.  I would urge you to learn about the "ideals" that Hitler was following when he killed over a million Jews.  You may not like to hear it, but it's only a small step from what your suggesting.  People with any kind of handicap (including childhood trauma) should be given every opportunity to live normally, without the fear of discrimination or repercussion for things which they did not choose.  You would be well served to put yourself in the place of the person you suggest should be punished for the sins of others.

Answer 12

ew no way

Answer 13

I am almost sick that you posted this question.

Did you know that MOST abused children NEVER abuse anyone.  In fact, most abused children tend to do more to protect their children than the "normal" parent.

Yes, abuse causes all those mental disorders and some of them are severe.  But NONE of those disorders indicate that people will be bad parents.  In fact, if people are being treated for their mental illnesses, they are probably MUCH BETTER prepared to deal with being a parent because they are reflecting on their issues and getting support.

I grew up in Foster Care and my bio-father went to prison for abuse.  I am a CASA (court appointed special advocate) and work with kids all the time.  I am so aware of NOT WANTING to hurt anyone, that I sometimes bend over backwards.

Look at the statistics that show that MOST abused children NEVER hurt a child.

Answer 14

Hi Vilma,

As an abuse survivor i feel i can not give an unbiased answer.  I do have to voice that your information is wrong.  I have been in therapy and counseling since 18 yrs.  I was resigned to never have children from fear of abusing.  I wanted more than anything for the abuse to end with me.  

My counselor told me that 99% of women abused as a child never abuse children.  In fact they are more protective of their children.  With my counselors resounding approval and a second opinion did i finally decide to have children.  At age 30.

I didn't listen as closely to the male stats since it didn't affect me.  If i remember correctly the odds were higher for an abused man to end up abusing a child.

Answer 15

We have been trying to adopt our Godson, who is in our custody.

As a child I was taken by the State and put into Welfare. I however am not a violent person, and don't possess any violent traits.

I do have Bipolar, have done for 10 years. In 10 years I haven't had any violent outbreaks, and have 4 perfectly healthy children of my own.

If people want to judge me for having Bipolar and whatever else, Kudo's to them. I am not a perfect parent, but I am a good one to my 5 son's.

Yes, they should be able to adopt children. Given all the hoops we've had to jump threw, I am sure that they'd be able to see any problems.

Answer 16

What American Doesn't fall into one of those categories.

I have probably 2 of those things. I was diagnosed with ADHD and a kid and I  Have a bit of anxiety.

I am going to have to agree with loony toons here.

I am probably too protective. I will never leave my children with any man other than my hubby and few women. My husband stays home and one of the reasons is I don't trust many people. I need my kids to know that I will do anything to protect them. I would give my life.

I believe people who have been abused are better off working through their problem and recognize how they can brake the cycle before becoming a parent themselves.

Answer 17

This is ridiculous. Both my parents grew up in the depression, they endured  physical and mental abuse. They were good parents, not perfect (as no one is a perfect parent)  but they always did what they thought was best. They had to help me overcome problems from the abuse that I had received from my 1st adoptive parents. Since they both had grown up in semi-abusive homes, they were better prepared to understand and help me  cope with my problems. It took a lot of time and patience on their part to get me through that.

I was a victim of rape when I was a teenager (by a stranger) that doesn't mean I will be  rapist. Quite the opposite.

I also think that if a "study" was done on the population as a whole they would find out that over 90% of the population has some sort of disorder they could detect. So by your standards no one should ever have kids.

I guess by your way of thinking all of us who are abopted or have been abused will grow up to be axe murders, rapist, and pedifiles.

The thing with surverys and so called "studies" is they basically do a  small percent of the populis and can get any numbers they want to present. It is never truly a random sampling of the people in question.

Answer 18

did you know that apparently 17 % of adoptees are homicidal???

Interesting lil statistic that was posted on here a few months ago. Certainly doesnt mean EVERY adoptee is homicidal, but something worth keeping in mind when posting rather insulting questions.