Should an eight-year-old child still have to be stuck in a rigid homework routine right until the end of term?

Question

My Grandsons break up from school in a little over a week yet my middle Grandson (eight year's of age) was still having to sit poring over his books this afternoon even though there was no *set* homework yet my duaghter-in-law insists on him doing homework every night (except Friday when I have the boys) and then catching up on Sunday if he has not completed the tasks.

Surely at this time of year and with the weather favourable for him getting out into the fresh air she should relax a little?

I wanted to take them out but she said that I could take the other two out but my middle one had to stay in and complete the work that *she* had set for him.

Is this fair on the child?

My son is working away and he told me to let it be but I can't help worrying.

Any advice on how to deal with this so as the boy won't spend his Summer holidays with his nose pressed into schoolbooks rather than having some much needed relaxation?

Answer 1

My son is 8 and out of school for the summer and I still have him do some work every night. Some nights we do reading, some writing and some math. We do vacab words and flash cards and work on things like telling time.

My son has learning issues and it's important for me to work with him over the summer so he doesn't lose what he's learned through the school year. He also goes to summer school 4 days a week for 4 weeks during the summer (only 2 1/2 hrs per day).

There's nothing wrong with keeping them working through the summer, it builds good work ethics and keeps up their skills.

Even my older 3 boys who are honor and high honor students still read every day and do some work over the summer.

My kids play outside all day long, we go to the park, the beach, all sorts of places and at night they do some reading and stuff and even then still have time for some TV and video games.

Answer 2

Yes. Kids around the world are working harder than ours.

You are among those responsible for the terrible school performance of our children.

Answer 3

i dont think its right he should only do homework when its set now everyday he should get outside he is 8 year old playin with friends football etc not cooped up with books. my brother is 8 and when he has set homework my mam says do it when yoo come home from school then you can go out

Answer 4

an 8 year old omg

Answer 5

How unfair, thats favouritism, why one rule for him and one for the other two?? If he's not behind in class then why does he need to do extra hw?? doesnt make sens to me. If he wasnt really good then yes but as you say he is clever i dont see the logic in it myself. Also at this time of year, even at school they mostly play and with the weather being so hot, its not right at all. I would try and talk to her, and maybe say, i'll treat them all the same or wont have them over. It's just going to cause anger and jealousy between the boys if she carries on like that, and the 8 yr old is very likely to want to spend time with you too so why prevent him? some parents are riddiculous, he may like school now, but will grow to hate it if he's treated like this.

Answer 6

Summer holidays are for being outdoors enjoying the weather and getting plenty fresh air and exercise. Thats how we spent our summer holidays (family of 5) and we all turned out ok and all have good jobs and happy lives.  Kids are at school long enough.  Let them enjoy a bit of fun while they have the chance.  I'm not quite sure what the best way to handle the situation is, your daughter in law may not appreciate your input.  Good luck though.

Answer 7

i have to say i agree with you,  i have a 9 year old and the amount of homework he gets is ridiculous but we do a bit each night and then the weekends are free,  i would say it's far too much for an 8 year old to be doing homework on a Sunday and as you say especially as it's nearly the holidays, it does seem a bit unfair that the other children get to go out but not the other,  personally i think children are made to grow up to fast and should be allowed to play, after all they are children.

Answer 8

When will you get it through your nasty spiteful head ..THEY ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN !

Keep your nose out their lives ..if these children are being mistreated or neglected then i can understand BUT you hate that she wants to take them abroad, she buys school clothing from Asda and lord forbid they are made out of TEFLON !

your a nit picking nasty woman who needs to get a life and your son need some balls to stick up for his poor wife who WE all feel so sorry for

Answer 9

And here you are again Joan.  Hoping that the people of this answers community join you in validating the jealousy you clearly feel towards your poor daughter in law.  I wonder Joan, are you still married?  what does your husband think of your apparent obsession with the parenting abilities of your daughter in law?  Or has he in fact died of frustration because you are without a doubt the most bitter twisted interfering old hag i have ever seen evidence of.  I hope with all my heart that your daughter in law cuts off all access to your grandchildren because quite frankly you strike me as the sort of person who would try to poison the children's minds against their mother. Would you Joan? would you do that?

LEAVE THEM ALONE! and stop subjecting us to your jealousy filled hatred for the woman your son chose!  How he managed to develop a sense of individuality with you as a mother I will never know.

Answer 10

You know full well your grandson will not spend the summer studying as you have already complained they will be away on holiday.

How many times do you need telling? They are NOT your children and you really need to accept that because you are in danger of losing them all.

Answer 11

Definitely something wrong with making only the middle child do work and not the others.  At least be fair and make them all do the work.  Besides that, that is pretty bad.  Kids need to be kids and have fun while they can.  You work your entire life and need time to relax and have fun, especially children.  Sneak them out when you get the chance.

Answer 12

Your daughter in law really can't do anything right in your eyes can she......

So I will tell you what I tell my Mother when she starts:

if you don't like it you know where the door is.

Answer 13

What this boils down to is that you're son's wife and you don't get on.

She is the mother, she makes the decisions.

Answer 14

One of the many reasons I homeschool.  Kids are getting "hyper" or "ADHD" because children are active and they are made to sit too long and end up bored.  Most schools do not even have recess anymore.  And then they send them home with more work.

Compare a child's day to an adult working full-time.  An adult by law working 8 hours has 2 fifteen minute breaks and a half hour break.  They are not required to bring their work home with them.  Some do of course, depending on the job, but for the majority, when they punch the clock at the end of the day, their day is over.  A child goes to school between 6-8 hours a day, depending on the school, where they are etc.  Some schools like  I said have no recess.  Lunch lasts 20-40 minutes depending on the school.  Then they bring home work to do.

Children need time to explore.  You can't spend hours trying to jam things into children's heads.  Just because a 3rd grader can do algebra doesn't mean they understand it.  This is the most important thing.  They can do things much better when they have time to think, learn to think and can figure things out on their own.

Answer 15

Maybe he needs more attention to help his learning?

Actually - sorry to say it - you really need to keep your oar out of this - unless he is actually being mistreated you should NOT get involved.

Feel free to spoil him when you see him - that is your prerogative - but do not question your daughter in law's rules.

Answer 16

ive read a few of your questions and i think you need to stop trying to parent these kids. they are not your children.

it seems to me that you dont have a problem with the parenting but with one particular parent.

would you prefer the mother didnt care about their education? because it seems there is no winning with you.

you need to step back and realise the upbringing of these kids is not your responsibilty.

Answer 17

Stop interfering. You are in danger of alienating your daughter in law.

Answer 18

What's wrong with her wanting her son to do well in school?

Is it really so bad that she makes him do his homework on time?

You wouldn't be happy if the kids were out leaving their homework to the last minute

Your poor DIL can't win either way