Should bio-parents have any rights after an adoption is finalized?

Question

ETA: Rachael & Mom - It was not directed at you; I hope you know that - I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

Answer 1

I think they have rights but ultimately what is best for the child is what is best.  I have read many posts saying all open adoption should be binding.  What is an adoptive parent has to be transferred?  What if the bio parents are becoming negative influence on child with alcohol or drugs?  When you are the legal parents of a child you have the ultimate rights.  

So yes the rights should exist but adoptive parents have the right, and perhaps have to explain to the court why they are moving/not allowing contact etc.  The option must be open.

For that reason, once you adopt a child and if something comes up genetic etc. well we just live with it.  It is a double standard, but children are not "products" that you can sue because they are "defective" with possible health issues.

Good, interesting question, thanks for asking.

Answer 2

as an adopted child no bio-parents should not have any rights. Because i knew how scared both of my parents were of loosing me because my birthmother wanted me back.

Answer 3

No, they should not have any rights at all.  I'm saying this as a current biological mother of two and I'm now in the process of adopting so I think I've got a good view of both sides of the coin.  My attitude is that I'm not babysitting their kid for them - it's MY kid at the time that those papers are signed and he/she comes home with me.  I WILL NOT have anyone other than my own husband or laws dictate to me how, why, where, what, etc. will be done with that child.  To have a parent terminate rights but say, "I want to know... have a say...." that's just selfishness on their part.  The parents raising that child will have a hard enough time with just the normal things involved with raising a kid ("you don't love me!") without worrying or thinking about who's looking over their shoulder or who that kid may be thinking they can run to when they are told no makeup or lose driving privileges.  Parents cannot be made to feel they are emotionally held hostage by a phantom "parent" and saying that someone has rights to that is just plain wrong.  So all the way around, it's NO, NO, NO!!!

And if they choose to do this here in the USA, then that'll just be another reason why couples looking to adopt will go internationally.

Answer 4

NO NO NO! bios shouldnt have any rights after the adoption is finalised! People may disagree with me, but I believe that if your going to give your child up for adoption, and you have decided its the right thing to do, then why on earth should they be given any rights? It come with adopting a child out! You cut your ties, you made your decision etc. Surely it cant be good for anyone, still haveing the bio in the adoptees life. It cant be any good for the bio parent, due to emotional issues, it cant be any good for the child due to confusion and it cant be any good for the adoptive parents due to not giving them the chance to shine as parents!!

I think its a stupid idea. Bio parents have made a choice and should cut all ties.

Good question

Answer 5

well, you know me and the story. you read lori a's answer and i know you speak of her. you have a very valid point, unfortuately things arent so cut and dried in the real world.

we all tell 'white lies' to protect our loved ones. in the case of adoption and honest records those same white lies grow into huge confusing and potentially detrimential things.

what lori did was wrong, i know, but she had very valid reasons. i understand them and her decision on how to handle these reasons with lies.

unfortunately in most situations it doesnt end like lori and i. many will never have the opportunity to tell the truth, or from my side, hear it. we lucked out

but to be fair, the agency did lie. about alot. now, who is liable? her for covering or them for adding to an already tangled story.

now that being said, she was 16, a completely different person. her maturity level was not that of an adult. should she be held accountable for well intended lies she told when she was a teenager, alone and scared?

but...she was still a consenting part of all this, she intentionally gave false info on a legal document. if she wasnt so closely connected to me i bet i would say no matter what she should be held accountable.

see, no cut and dried answers. i know lori threw up some serious red flags with you. with good reason. probably a point of view you had never considered before. but in the end, how can anyone be sure of anothers honesty?

should it be changed? yes! should they be forced to supply honest and accurate information? yes! am i entitled to know the truth for myself and my children? yes!

should she be proscuted or persecuted for a laps in judgement she made when she was a pregnant teen with little support and no family backbone? hhmmmmm........

it is very possible i am not being objective about this. all of this is very close to me, h**l,it IS me. my life and my history.

what she did was wrong, no one will argue that. but her intentions were golden, i promise, as she said, the story isnt over, this just isnt the proper place to air all that. its a tangled web, let me tell you.

im not sure we can have it both ways. all i know for sure is lori and i are THE luckiest people on earth. we found each other, set the story straight and no serious harm came from any of it. many are not so lucky.

i hope  you find the comfort you are looking for, you deserve it, as does everyone connected to adoption. but the lines are so blurred, its hard for me to make a commitment to one side of this argurment.

EDIT: NO OFFENSE MY FRIEND, I COMPLETELY RESPECT YOUR QUESTION. ♥♥♥♥

Answer 6

It depends on the contract that is signed when the adoption papers are brought up. I would talk to a lawyer about this.

Answer 7

It really depends on what was agreed to at the time of the adoption.

If a mother chose adoption, and chose to place with a certain couple (or person) based upon a certain level of openness, rights to contact, etc., then yes, I believe that the bio-parent's rights should be upheld.  After all, that was what was promised and was the reason why the bio parent chose to place with that adopter in the first place.  To go back on that agreement would be unethical.

Unless, of course, there's ever a circumstance when the child's safety is compromised.  The safety of the child is always more important and should take precedence.

Answer 8

Much of the false information that has been discovered on adoptee records was falsified by the agency or the State, not the bio parents!  Can you provide cases where the info given by bio parents has been false, all the false documentation I have seen (quite a bit) doesn't indicate it was falsified by the bio parents at all

This just one reason they want to keep our record sealed, or they will be 'rumbled' for their dirty dealings of the past and held accountable

I believe bio parents should also have access to the adoptee's record of birth, as they are here in the UK.   Will that ever happen in the USA?   Well, we can only dream!

ETA:   There is no excuse for giving false information on an official document pertaining to somebody's life.  No excuse;  anybody doing so should be held accountable,yes.

Answer 9

If the agreement is "open" adoption, then yes, there are rights, or there should be. Both sides should have to go through some kindof mediation to determine what's going on and if someone's lying or being abusive, then their rights should be terminated.

I do not feel the same way with "biological fathers". Where were they during the pregnancy? If the woman lied to protect the child, I think that's her right and if the "biological father" finds out about it, then too bad. It's not 50/50 when you're pregnant. Ownership has to count for more than that. It's the woman's body and she has more rights over the child then the "biological" father. I do not support "father's rights" in these situations. More times than not, the man wants custody for all the wrong reasons. It's a control issue. It's too torment, humiliate and destroy the woman. If he cared about the child, he would have been there from the beginning. If he didn't know about it, there's probably a good reason why the girl / woman didn't tell him.

First and foremost is the welfare of the child.

I never lied to anyone about anything. The "biological" father (rapist) and the AP's did. The AP's are drug users and the AP father drinks. But, they look like a "good family". The AP mom is a doctor and the AP dad is in the insurance industry. Very "respectable".

Why is it that the first mom's are supposed to be the addicts and abusers? How many AP's are drug addicts and alcoholics? No one ever mentions that???!!!!!

Answer 10

In UK, there are different types of adoption suitable for different needs.

There is a type of adoption which allows contact between the biological parents and child(ren) and or/ between teh biological parents and the adoptive ones. This does not give the bio parents right to tell teh adoptive parents what do to- its just so they know how they bio kids are getting on.

There is another type of adoption  that doesnt allow any contact. This is usually better for the sake of the child whilst the child(ren)are young,

In a nutshell tho, It depends on the type of adoption that was finalized in the first place.

If a parent gives their child to another family for adoption then NO they should have NO RIGHT at all to interfer in the way things are done once this has took place. No bio parent can dictate or suggest what and how thing shsould be done.

The bio parents made a decsion and now the adoptive parents do as they wish.

Now, if the bio parents gave FALSE information KNOWLINGLY to the adoption agency. This is actually a matter that can go to court.

Answer 11

i have 4 adopted children and the borth mother has no contact with them. i don't want them to have contact with her either. they were abused children and they donot need to see them. when they get older and of age if they want to look for her they can.

Answer 12

When the option of open adoption was brought forward by the couple and the lawyer who handled the adoption of Baby Z, I knew of what little rights I would have....I did not want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed.  I told them all it should be at their discretion.  Luckily, they have both kept contact, and I get photos and emails from them about how she is doing all the time.  Do I think it should be legally enforced?  If all parties agree and something is in writing, then yes.  If the natural parents prove to be a risk to the child's well being, only then I can see closing an agreed open adoption.  Should they be held accountable for false info?  Absolutely.  I asked every family member I had about every sickness that ran in the family.  If I find out anything new, I will contact the lawyer and have it put in their file.  The only side of the fam I am in the dark with is the father's side of the fam.  Only a handful of cousins are left and none of them know much about their family history.  I only knew of major ones, but of anything else...not a clue.  My oldest daughter I am parenting has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, and I let them know right away so they can monitor baby Z as she gets older.   I try to keep them updated of anything new I find out about.   But I do think that natural parents should be held accountable if they purposely with-hold info regarding health issues.  I can understand some circumstances where you might not know or ever know....but obvious things like cancer, diabetes....even inbreeding (ewww) should be known and documented.  And if a woman lies about who the father is and the real father comes forward, then the adoption should be nullified if he wanted to step up and raise the child.  Then the natural mother should also be held accountable for purposely lying.

Answer 13

No.  If they want rights, they should include it in the adoption filings, but if they don't specify anything, they don't have any.  They gave up that right by their own free will.  If they want rights, then they should take on part of the responsiblity as well, like the financial part.

Answer 14

We were told that we would have NO rights once we gave her up. We could not find her and she could not find us, that was back in 1972, I don't think an open adoption was an option back then. I think if everyone agrees to an open adoption then they should have a legal binding agreement drawn up and it should be enforceable.

Just my opinion.

Answer 15

Your situation is completely different.  In infant adoption, many times it is a lure to get natural parents to sign the relinquishment paperwork.  Some adoptive parents do follow through.  I know many natural parents relinquished on this fact but had the adoptive parents take off and stop contact.  If you sign an agreement to have an open adoption, both parties should follow through.  There should be ways to fight back legally.  A friend of mine contested the adoption of her children on this basis.  It was summarily dismissed by both judges in both states.  The adoptive parents in her case had every intention of leaving the state without her ever seeing her children again.  It is a carrot that the adoption agencies dangle in front of natural parents.  There should be some protection under the law if this is the reason why a natural parent relinquished their children.

Please keep in mind that agencies are culpable in providing lies to adoptive parents, adoptees, and natural parents.  Look at what Noodles went through just to get a sampling of it.

Answer 16

I like the open adoption policy (if that still happens). If I were to adopt a child, sure to be honest I would be a little jealous, but if he or she chose to look for their birth parents for answers, I am all for it. Regardless if your the birth parents or not, that child knows who the real parents are. The ones that put food in their mouth, clothes on their back, a good education and upbringing. Life is too short to harbor that kind of anger. Best of luck.

Answer 17

<<should bio-parents have rights after an adoption is finalized?>>

Yes, in accordance with the open adoption agreement. Some courts are starting to enforce this.

<<should they be held legally accountable for incorrect information or false information>>

Adoption agencies aren't held accountable for their misinformation.  How are you going to hold a birth parent accountable?  I do think that DNA testing should be done on all fathers prior to relinquishment to prove that the right man has been claimed father.  As far as health information, realize that many health problems may not be known by the parent at the time of birth.  For instance, I only found out about the two genetic problems in my family in my 30s. The adoption agency never forwarded the information to my son's a-parents despite their claim that they would do so.

Answer 18

I am the one who openly admitted that I falsified my daughters birth information. I lied about her fathers name. If you are not familiar with my story, I came from a VERY disfunctional home. I was a victim of incest and rape in my early years. I met a man who was 4 years older than me. AT THAT TIME, the age difference was huge. I was 16 he was 20. I lied about his name to keep him out of jail. There is more to the story but not really needed here.

I put what I did out there so people can learn from my mistakes. FALSIFYING HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS A HUGE MISTAKE. I  never thought about the ramifications it  was going to have on her. I openly offer this info so that people can associate a person with a story. It seems to have more effect that way. I did that and I was wrong for doing it. If you know someone thinking about doing the same thing. Tell them not to do it. I got a second chance to right my wrong. Rachael actually found someone with the name I put on her papers. Not a good story. You can use me as an example if you need to. I'm not offended. I offered the info.

Do I realize how important it is to have correct birth info? Yes now I do.

Do I realize how wrong it was to do that? Yes now I do.

Do I think bio parents should have rights after the adoption is finalized. That is still a tough one for me. I think sealed adoptions shoud be done away with completely. But to answer the question in regard to my particular case, No. I did not think back then that I should have had any rights. I may need to change my thinking on that but it is my honest answer. Sealed was sealed and that was that. You knew what you were signing, and I never once tried to reneg on my end of the deal.

You need to know that the agency made me out to be a 13 yr old runaway on drugs who didnt know who the father was. THEY LIED TOO.

Answer 19

I am adopted, just to let you know.  My parents that adopted me made sure that my bio's didn't have any way to get in touch with me.  I think that the bio's shouldn't have rights to get in touch with the child until they are 16.  At least 16.  My parents were open with me, and let me know that when I was ready they would be too.  My parents are amazing.

God Bless.

By the way I have met my bio's and I don't get along with either one of them.. They went to prison that is why they couldn't take care of me.  I often think about what if I had stayed with them.. It would not have been good!!!