Should call the brother and tell him of the abuse to his sister?

Question

A 91-year old lady was in tears and noteably being mistreated by her 'caregiver'; My sis and I asked the elderly lady if she needed help with this, and she puckered up, tears starting to roll, as she said "Yes, I would...it's SOOOO hard". The receptionist at the hospital where were were was also a witness to this as, was several patients. My sis---who is VERY outspoken---got in the caregiver's FACE and said, "How would YOU like to be in the clutches of someone like YOU?"...to which she told my sister to butt out. My sister said, "Oh No! I will NOT butt out! You've got a stickey wickette on you now lady! You will not abuse anyone again---not on my watch!

...& we found out the name of her boss and the phone #, to which my sis called her boss right there. I got called into see my sergeon, but the drama continued (My sis said that after I left, she talked to the boss of the 'caregiver' and the boss started to protect the C.G (ofcourse) and the C.G. came over to my sis and yelled to her boss (over the phone)...."she called me a B****!"...and my sis said to the boss..."I sure did, but I wouldn't have called her that if she hadn't been one,,,but she WAS a B*****!" and I have witnesses.... You can't call my supervisor, bcz I don't HAVE ONE....I am not an employee here...and most of the witnesses aren't either! We are BY-STANDERS WHO REFUSE TO STANDBY & watch this abuse!" ...& THIS PHONE CALL IS NOT The last you'll hear of it either."

Then, the old lady wanted to call her brother...(WHO I guess pays the caregivers just over FIVE FIGURES per year to take care of his sister..but who, the lady says has told her (he) wishes she would DIE!" So, my Sis dials his # for the 91-yr old lady, and she talks & cries to her brother. (The delimma is now my Sis knows she's got the brother's # in her phone (from the call), and wonders if he would help the old lady .... or would this cause her problems (if he really has said he wishes she would die)? I think she should tread very lightly since the relationship of the brother & sister could be very VOLITILE...and she should contact the head/director of the caregiving company. She has alread gotten the hospital on it--- (& those people don't take this stuff lightly at ALL!)...could be she's done enough.

I think now, we should just offer the lady up to God and let go. She has no way of getting hold of the lady anyway ---- excepting thru her brother (great!) The hospital is not going to forget about it anyway...& they'll find a way to get hold of her.

It's just so sad, that people who once were vital people, end up so alone and so "brow-beaten". She was once a model in Chicago for Clairol..... OMG! and here she is scared, tiny, humped-over, using a walker instead of the wheelchair she should have been in, just because the caregiver said taxi-drivers don't pick-up ppl in wheelchairs as quick as they do ppl with walkers. So, this one-time model with RAVEN Black hair (she told us), is at everyone's mercy and "living" only because of God's 'good' graces. What "Grace" is this?

Should my sis call the brother? ...and if you think so, what should she say to him? OR>>>should she leave it where it is? and offer it up?

Answer 1

Listen, you call DHEC and also 911 and inform them of the abuse and that the lady was crying for your help and said she is being abused. explain that she is 91 and you and your sister were caring out her request for help.  

if you want to win an argument with these snotty caregivers, the worse thing you can do is start yelling and calling them b*tch. you should change your tone. you can make it much worse for that little old lady. some people are real b&stards and have no right working with the sick and elderly. they are cruel.

please call your local DHEC, it should be under health and human services.  

Answer 2

just pray, that poor woman should not be treated so poorly. ur sis did the right thing, but when its time, God will call her home. In the meantime i think she should call her brother and try to settle it.

Answer 3

Call the brother.

Answer 4

Yes, she could call and just tell him that she wants to confirm that his sister is being mistreated as she was a witness.  See, the lady is old and many times older people in these homes will become delusional and complain even when they are being treated well.  It is possible that the brother thinks that she is doing just that and may not take her calls seriously.  So, yes I would call and just confirm that she witnessed his sister being treated badly.  Then i would call the police department and make a formal complaint or possibly the health department?  I am not sure what agency this would be turned over to. But the police is definitely a good start.  And as a poster above said...avoid cussing, it only makes her seem  hostile.

Answer 5

She should definatly call. just tell the brother what's happening, and i'm sure he'll understand.

Answer 6

call the brother or call the police, think if that was you when you get old.

Answer 7

Well you should try to stop it!!!! REven though this lady is very old think about it, if your Grandmother was in that position would youwant somebody to tell you that it was happening? I would. Even if this lady does die soon, that Caregiver needs to be fired so that elders wount be getting abused anymore. Your sister was very right. ^.^

Answer 8

Neither - call the police and report the elder abuse you witnessed - a police investigation will speed up the hospital's response real quick!  And avoid cussing when describing the abuser, it just makes you less credible.  

Answer 9

Phew, talk about "stream of consciousness".

I think your sis will handle it however she decides to handle it.  I'm glad you had the empathy for the old lady, tho, that's a gift that's not being handed out much any more.

Answer 10

call the police