Should ex husband help buy daughter a car?

Question

My 16 year old lives with me full time. My other two children alternate each week between me and their dad. He makes about 20% more than I do and I declined any support for the younger two children. He pays me two hundred dollars a month for my 16 year old. My husband and I bought her a used car and pay her car insurance. She does have a job but it only pays enough to help her put gas in her car and barely. I asked her dad to help with her car since this was an over ordinary living expense that child support usually covers. He declined stating that was what the child support was for. He now expects her to drive everyother weekend to his house and to work on the weekends and he states he will not give her gas money because that is included in his child support. We live and she works 30 minutes from his house. My questions are this. Should he help pay for her car expenses? Should he help her with gas money on his weekends with tranporatation to visit him? I know when our 15 year old turns 16 he is going to want me to share car expenses with him for her because we split their expenses 60%/40%. How should I respond to him and all this? Very complicated situation. Need advice from someone who may have experienced this.

Answer 1

If a  teenager can't work and make their own money to drive a car....then they have no business driving a car....A parent is under no obligation to buy their children cars....give them money for gas and pay their insurance....Having a car isn't a right....It is a privilege....

Answer 2

hmmm..  Driving a car is a huge responsiblilty that requires lot's of cash.  These are hard times, and I know that us parents want to help our kids.  My daughter is almost 18 and I encourage her to ride the bus and use public transportion as much as possible.  

Driving is totally optional (although our kids would have us believe that it is a born right of passage.)  

Neither you or your ex should offer to pay for a teenager car, gas, or insurance.  She is not a child anymore.  

If she can't afford a car, get rid of the car, and the problem is gone.  Now, your ex will have to come and get your daughter if he wants to see her.  This is the penalty for living 30 minutes away.  I realize that you may live in a rural area, but life has some very tough realities doesn't it??

        

Answer 3

It was your decision to buy a car then surely you cannot expect him to pay for it. If she cannot afford the car then why have it?  

Answer 4

He might be trying to teach her the value of a dollar.I have never heard of a mother leaving her two younger children with the father. It sounds complicated. It might be tough for her for another year or two but she can actually receive more student loans and grants based on your income so it might actually help her in the long run.

Answer 5

If you ask me the teenager should be paying for te car.

But that's your choice

Anyway he IS her dad and has the right to help if he wants and if the girl accepts it.

Answer 6

I had to buy my own car, carry my insurance, and put gas in it if I wanted to drive. Plus I had to make good grades in order to keep the privilege. So I would say that you should place more of the burden on your daughter. She is going to have to learn soon enough how to take care of these things so why not start now?

As for your ex, I would say that you probably made a mistake by not taking the child support in the first place. If you did not need it, you could have put it back in an account for these type of things. Hindsight is 20/20 though. If he is court ordered to pay support for her and you've just been being nice, then use that as your trump card. If you haven't signed anything to waiver that support then you should be able to bargain. It could be a complicated move and not viewed as fair play but you have to do what you have to do.

My first choice would be to place more responsibility on your daughter. If she cannot afford to drive to her dad's then have her tell him that she is unable to come.

Answer 7

Sorry, but legally your ex is correct.  It would be nice if he would help, but he is in no way obligated to pitch in for the car.  A car is absolutely NOT a necessity, that is a luxury that you and your husband have decided to get her.  It is your responsibility to assume the care and upkeep for the car.  Pretty much the only thing you might be able to do is not allow her to use the car to visit dad, then you and dad will need to decide on who will do the driving when she visits.