Should fathers be allowed to relinquish rights before birth?

Question

A biological father (particularly one that's not involved in the pregnancy, and has no interest in being involved) does not go through the same experiences a "birth mother" does. Should we then allow those fathers to waive their rights before birth? Paternal rights are already allowed to be waived in certain divorce cases where the mother claims her ex-husband is not the father of the baby she is carrying, even though the marriage was not ended before the child was conceived. This is done so that the (presumably) real father can be named on the birth certificate immediately. Since that is already allowed, should we not similarly allow birth fathers to waive their rights in adoption situations?

Would this prevent mothers from naming the father as "unknown" to avoid complications with the adoption since they would know ahead of time if the father had complied? Would this give adoptees more accurate information about themselves? What do you think?

Answer 1

I do think that fathers should be allowed to relinquish rights even before birth.  I'm a birthmom, and I know that my ex would have happily given up his rights ASAP, (as I was handed a blank check and pointed towards the abortion clinic).  

I did name the father when I was dealing with my lawyer.  I regretted it later, when I was worried that when the lawyer contacted him to sign the adoption papers that he would try to keep her.  He was a drunk and a dead beat dad already, so I knew he would not be raising her- if she wasn't to be adopted, I'd be raising her.  That's why I refused to sign until after he did, if you'd like to know that as well.  So yes, if you are 'all for' keeping the records as complete as possible, then it would be more beneficial for the birthfathers to be able to sign away their rights before birth.  If I were ever to be in that situation again, I would not name the father.

You might not agree with me, but I really am trying to answer your question to help.

Answer 2

Of course not.  Do you know how many deadbeats would waive their rights?  If you make a baby you shouldn't be able to have a no strings attached get out of jail free pass.  

It's pretty easy to determine paternity.  And, in most cases holding up a birth certificate for a short period is certainly not a big deal vs. making sure the correct father is named.

I don't think the change you suggest would add anything to the information available for adoptees.

Answer 3

To be perfectly honest with you.... I don't think fathers should be forced to have a role in any kind of birth. Women have a choice to keep the baby, have an abortion, or have it adopted. Men pretty much just have to follow along with their choice. I think that men should be allowed to waive their role in fatherhood if women are allowed to independently make that choice.

Answer 4

Just as some women do, a man may freak out when he first discovers he's going to be a parent. He may say stupid things & not be too thrilled about becoming a father before he's ready.

Sadly, father's currently have very limited rights in most states. In many states, fathers must sign a Putative Father's Registry within 30 days (or less) of the birth of their child  showing their  "intent to claim paternity". That's assuming dads are even aware the registry exists. According to www.ChildWelfare.gov "there is a lack of uniformity among States as to the level of protection available to unwed fathers."

In many states, an unwed father's name can not be entered on the birth certificate.  Also, if he doesn't know about the registry & hasn't signed it,  the law does not require that he be notified of the adoption.  

Is that fair?  

All father's should have the same parental rights as mothers.  Then we can consider the appropriateness of him waiving his rights before the child is born.  

But that's not your question.  As you pointed out, a father does not go through the same experience as the mother (i.e., the pregnancy).  Many father's don't feel as 'connected' to their child as an expectant mother does before their child is born.  How can he sign away his rights before he's had an opportunity to see his child.  Before his child seems "real" to him?

Answer 5

A woman is allowed to have an abortion within the first 3 months of the pregnancy.  I believe the father should have the right to relinquish rights during that time.  After 3 months, both parties should have to be responsible.

A commenter below said the 3 month timeline that I stated was wrong.  Where I live, a woman can choose to have an abortion during the first 3 months.  After that, it will only be done under special circumstances (i.e. health of mother or fetus is in jeopardy) until 6-7 months.

Answer 6

Biological fathers should have all the rights that a "birth" mother has.

Answer 7

Some times it is best just to let the mother have all the rights and be able to get on with her life

Answer 8

Absolutely--it would be better for adoption purposes.  But (sorry guys) the birth mother can and should put him on the birth certificate for the purpose of  

    A. Adoption--the child can still know medical info about the father--plus gives the baby be allowed to be placed with the adoptive family right away.

    B. If the birth mother keeps the baby--even though a "man" doesn't want to claim his child he still HAS to pay support-he just gives up rights to ever claim legal or physical custody--he still has to make sure a child that is biologically his is taken care of-just don't let him know that til he signs away his rights.

Answer 9

No, I don't think fathers should be allowed to relinquish rights until after the baby is born.  Comparing a divorce case where adultery has taken place doesn't change that.  For many fathers, the shock of suddenly having a baby takes time to get over.  A fair percentage may change their minds once the reality of the baby is before them.

Answer 10

He can agree to the adoption before birth.  It is unfair for a baby to be adopted out without the birth father's permission.

Answer 11

Of course.  They should also be able to relinquish rights after birth.  The whole idea that men should be held more responsible for children than women is crazy.

Answer 12

He has the right to relinquish all rights and responsibilities. If you are putting the child up for adoption alot of times you can have all the paper work done before the baby is born. If you are going through an agency your caseworker should be able to advise you and help you with what is needed to be done. If not then go and talk to a lawyer. Remember you want it all to be done properly and legally. But remember if you should decide to change you mind and keep the child, if he has sighned away his rights you can't go after him for child support. Good luck

Answer 13

I don't care WHO the father is, husband,boyfriend, it doesn't matter! If you/they  were man enough to make that child you need to be responsible and be an active part in the raising of that child.It is your /their moral obligation!

Answer 14

yes and then stay out of the child and Mothers life.

Answer 15

No, he should NOT be able to relinquish his rights before the birth, even if he's 'not interested' during the pregnancy.

It's hard enough for anyone, even a pregnant woman, to imagine how they'll feel about a baby once it's born.  I imagine that's an even more abstract concept for a man.

Answer 16

no I dont think they should. You never know wether he will step up to the plate and play an active roll as a parent. alot of times once they've seen the child they grow up really fast and you never want to deprive a parent the chance to be in their childs life.

Answer 17

Yes they should have the right to choice if they want their child to be adopted. If you give that baby up then the father can come back and take custody if him/her. And the comments above is wrong. You can get an apportion up to 7 months. Not recommending this though.

Answer 18

I think fathers should only be allowed to reliquish rights if they have an agreement (in writing) with the mother that the child is to be given up for adoption.

Otherwise he should still have all paternal rights, whether he wants them or not, unless the mother is able to get a court order.

Answer 19

No parent should be able to relinquish parental rights prior to the birth of his or her child.  Parents need to wait until after the birth to be sure if relinquishment is really what they want to do.