Should i be happy for her....# 3 baby!?

Question

one of my girlfriends is pregnant with her # 3 baby..i'm not sure if i should be happy for her or not, i mean part of me knew that it would happen. but it doesn't make me feel any better. i guess the thing that gets me is that it's her # 3 one and none of them are her husbands! she's my best friend and i would do anything for her, but when i found out that she was pregnant again i really didn't know what to say! i would have thought that the thing i said last time would have done it ,but i guess not...she said that this was going to be her last one but i find it hard to believe. all of her kids have a different dad and she didn't even know who the father was with her first! is it wrong of me to be a little upset? i've been trying for another baby for almost 2 years with my husband and all she dose is open her legs and out pops another one! she's asked me to plan her baby shower and i'll do it, but is it wrong to be mad?

Answer 1

no..it's human nature to be jealous sometimes. I can understand why you are mad, its NOT fair that you are married and are trying to have a baby the right way and you cant but your friend can sleep with whomever and she can get pregnant that easily. If you emotionally can't handle planning her baby shower then just ask her if its ok if you assign someone to help you with all the planning, this will help keep you less stressed.

Answer 2

If she can have another child then I guess I feel she doesn't need a shower and can afford it all on her own.  She made the decision.  If I were you I would be a little upset cause I am guessing she knows what you are going through and so it seems a little wrong for her to flaunt it in front of you.  I know that my hubby and I have a friend that was having difficulty conceiving and when I got pregnant we told them but I didn't talk about it unless she brought it up and never would I have asked for a shower!  

Answer 3

Well I'd be pretty upset  and mad too. It's almost like she's rubbing your face in it. So I gather she's having several affairs behind her husbands back. I would neither arrange her shower or even talk to her again. She doesn't sound like the type of person I would like to be friends with.  

Answer 4

Mad, no, i don't see why it should madden you. Upset, maybe. Disgusted, sure. Outraged, defo. Don't let your feelings about you having trouble concieving with your husband build up resentment to your friend. But ask yourself this, why is she your friend? What is it about her that you like? She sounds like an awful person, although it's not my place to judge. There are too many kids out there who don't know their dads and that's because their mums are big slags! Sorry but it's true.

I'd maybe think about your friendship and what it is about this friend that makes her special enough to be your friend. Does her husband know these kids arn't his? Are you carrying around her secret? It sounds to me like she doesn't think about her kids at all, because if she did she'd know who the dads were!! And also, not cheat on her husband!

And are you also friends with the husband? Is he a nice guy? Does he deserve this? Not that I'm saying that you blow the whistle on her secrets and destroy a marriage and a family, but this guy def deserves to know that his wife is a big ho!

Does she know who the dad of baby no 3 is?

On the other hand, i might be being a bit harsh, she might have some sort of depression or attention seeking thing going on where she seeks gratification in being with lots of men, there are women like that.

Well, being mad is not healthy. But maybe being her friend isn't either. Maybe by telling her you don't want to be friends with her any more is more of a message about her behaviour than giving her a good telling off!

Answer 5

it is stories like yours that make me appreciate the four children i have. my husband and i have been blessed with four healthy children. i am lucky to not have the fertility problems some have. it is because of stories like yours that makes me realize my babies are a gift, i am truly lucky. i think your friend does not know this and that it causes you pain in your heart. i could not imagine how you feel.  the closest experience to your pain i had is when i miscarried once. it felt so unfair.it hurt really bad. just offer her your support and friendship. if you are close to her try to explain to her your feelings on the situation. may you be blessed soon enough.

Answer 6

No I would beupset too.  It's hard right.  Cause if she is caring for the baby properly and she's a good mother then what can we say?  But it does not hurt to tell her how you feel.  Honestly your more concerned for then mad right?

Answer 7

WOW - that woman is totally disgusting!  I used to work with a woman who had FOUR kids all from different fathers, and lied to them all about who their Fathers really were - it took me everything in my power to just be decent to her - I could NEVER be friends with such a stupid selfish lying **** like her - no thanks!

In my world, I cannot be friends with people whom I have VERY different values, and ESPECIALLY someone who has no MORALS!  YUCK!  I believe who I surround myself with is a direct reflection of me - so I do not associate with scum at all.  Never in a million years would I even consider throwing her any kind of baby shower.

Your anger comes from jealousy - - PLEASE!  She is NOBODY to be jealous of!!  What you need, is to lesson your STRESS and learn to relax and take it easy - you will get pregnant soon - it would help too if you disowned what is helping you to be stressed out - like this "friend".  Seriously - being friends with her is not helping you to get what you want.  

Answer 8

Her husband is okay with this.  He is such a fool.

Usually there is no baby shower for the third child.

I can see where you are coming from on how easily   It seems so easy for her to be popping out these children, when she really shouldn't be cheating on her husband.

Hang in there.  Your time will come.

Answer 9

I think if you have so much animosity toward your friend maybe you two shouldn't be friends.  You either need to talk to her about it or let it go that is not a friendship.  It is perfectly normal for you to be mad after all she is bringing you into her drama.

And also best of luck I hope you get pregnant soon hun!

Answer 10

You can be mad its heart breaking that there are really people like that out there and i know there are plenty more. But honestly i don't think you should lash out at her. you should be happy if its what she wants you can be mad at her but you should still be happy for her.  

Answer 11

I would be a little bit digusted if I were you. She is obviously pretty irresponsible. Even worse, she thinks she needs a third baby shower. I would tell her politely that you are not interested in helping her get more free things. Baby showers are meant for first babies, not second and third.

Answer 12

I would be a little bit hurt myself. The part that gets me is that she asked you to give her a baby shower. Thats crazy