Should i be required to fly to my cousin's wedding?

Question

my cousin on my father's side is getting married. we have to fly from new york to georgia. it will cost over 1,000 dollars. i think this is a lot of money. my father's side of the family thinks that it would be unacceptable if my mother and i did not go. neither of us want to go and her side of the family thinks it is ridiculous to fly all that way. also, it will be in january and we will be risking getting our flights canceled/delayed. it is saturday and we are leaving sunday. i don't want to risk missing a regents on monday. i could see a day of school (very reluctantly) but i would have to retake the regents in june!! do you think my mother and i should have to go? i really don't want to go but my father's side of the family and i are somewhat close and would be very angry.

Answer 1

If I were you, I would send a nice present to the bride before the wedding, and when you send the RSVP back, explain how you have Regents on Monday, and you can't risk a January flight and possibly getting stuck in Georgia due to bad weather somewhere between New York and there. It would put you behind in school 6 months. Mention the financial burden of that happening, if there is one. Say it nicely, and say how disappointed you are because you can't be there and  how you really wanted to come. The fact that you are  missing the wedding and not seeing all the family is bad enough, but you will be missing getting out of NY in January  to someplace warm. LOL .

You can buy a really nice present, or a gift card, and still save a mint from that airline ticket, not to mention not having to buy suitable clothing for the event.  

Answer 2

Talk to your cousin,NOW. Let them know how you feel. After that conversation talk to everyone else about the result of your talk with your cousin.

Answer 3

You have a Regents on MONDAY.  You can't risk it.  You need the time to prepare for it.  Also, finances are an issue.  We can't always afford to travel to every wedding we're invited to.  

Stay home, and be prepared for your regents. You and mom send your regrets and don't feel guilty about it.

Answer 4

That is a lot of money unless you have it to spare. If you don't have it .....don't go. You are not obligated to go to a wedding. And you have other obligations that you would not want to take a chance on missing. Talk to the bride and tell her. She should be mature enough to understand. A person has to do what they feel is right for them. Don't worry about what other people think. They will get over it in time if they get huffy about it.  

Answer 5

...and what do the bride and groom think? odds are i don't think they will mind. just make sure you let them know your final decision 3 weeks ahead of time. they are having to pay for catering, alcohol, and cake per/person (assuming this is a big wedding). it sounds like you have a lot at stake also. i would just send them a nice gift card to where they are registered. maybe up the ante a little since you won't be spending any money on flights.  

Answer 6

h**l no, whats the point of marriage any way?! The chick builds a picket fence then BANG! You're stuck!!

Answer 7

Tell your cousin you really wish you could go but it won't be possible, and state the reasons you gave here.  If your cousin or your family get mad over that, they are very immature (you never HAVE to go to any wedding, besides your own! And its not like you're the mother of the bride or anything...you're just his cousin, with several good excuses for not going!)

Answer 8

Of course they would be angry.  You and your mom need to realize that you are a part of this family as well and that you should attend the wedding.  It is in January so you have pleanty of time to save up the plane fare, and if you book now I am sure that you can find a better price from NYC to Georgia.  You will do what you want but the right thing is to go.

Answer 9

If you had absolutely no relationship with your cousin, then I can understand that one would have a hard time deciding whether to blow 1000 dollars (I'm going to hazard a guess that is the price for you AND your mother, not just you alone). While you have stated you are 'somewhat' close, I don't see that closeness from your end of the relationship by your comments. So maybe the cousin's family thinks you two are close, and you don't agree?

You need to really be honest with yourself, about your relationship. And not try and hide behind a lot of other justifications for not going. I'm not giving you a hard time. I'm just saying that you cite a WHOLE lot of reasons for NOT going that have no emotional reasoning behind them. But at the end you haphazardly mention that the relationship is 'somewhat close' but that you really don't want to go.

If a person really feels close to a friend or family member, one makes allowances and finds ways around the money issue (my plane ticket next week to my sister's wedding across the country is 900 dollars, and has been managed through a lot of scrimping and saving), and decides that an exam (I am guessing that is what a Regent is?) is rewritable (as you have said it is), but there is only one marriage for your cousin.

So just chew on these things and be honest within yourself about the real reason and the scrap all the other excuses- which are just that- they aren't 'lame' in the nasty sense, but in the sense that there are ways around money issues and rescheduling exams and putting up with flight delays.