Should i change my 4 year olds last name?

Question

i put my name as her last name when she was born b/c of custody issues with her dad.....but now all the court process is over andthings...should i change it to her dads last name?

she has been in pre-school and everything...is it worth it? or what? i feel like an idiot for not giving her his last name in the first place..

Answer 1

Why would you want to use his last name if you were having problems with custody? If you were having problems having custody issues between her father and yourself, then it shows he wasn't the best thing to enter her life and he's only that small part of who she is. Does that even make sense? Hm.

Anyway, its definitely ultimately up to you. I think she's fine. She doesn't know the difference. If you get married, and the significant other wants to adopt her, then she can have his name.

Thinking of that, I wouldn't change her last name. She might not really know it now, but it will still cause confusion later. She's going to have your last name, his last name, and then someone else's if she's adopted, and then when she gets married. It kind of sounds like it will be a big mess. Though, I've never been through it personally myself, so I can only tell you what I think.

Btw, you're not an idiot for giving her your last name. It happens. You need to do what you feel is right, and what she'll be proud of. And, just because he helped create her doesn't make it "right" for her to have his name.

Answer 2

If it is what you want go for it. She is young enough that it won't be a tough transition for her. I've changed the names of two of my kids, and the first got to pick a new middle name for herself when I gave her my last name (she thinks that is super cool), and the other now has his dad's name (dad was still freakin out when our son was born so he got my name). It is worth it, I think.

Answer 3

I changed my 4 year olds surname, and I think it should be whatever you feel comfortable with.  

Answer 4

Well, if he wants it to be her last name, and you want it to be her last name.. then change it  :)

I don't see any problems with it, especially since she hasn't started grade school yet.  

Answer 5

I wouldnt go around changing the kids name.   She is four already.   Did the guy get a DNA test to see if this kid is really his?