Should i confront a friend who i suspect has stolen from me?

Question

I recently invited a friend over to my new house and let her and her kids sleep in my bedroom while i slept in the basement. Now a few weeks later i notice that i am missing a few pairs of slacks that i distinctly remember having in my closet. Hindsight is 20/20 and i do remember hearing what might have been her rummaging through some of my things that night.

Is it worth ruining a friendship by confronting her, and if so how should i do it? Or should i just count it as a loss and be leary of her whenever she comes over again? I have scrubbed my house from top to bottom and i cannot find the slacks. For a moment, i thought i was going crazy until i remembered that evening?

There could be no other explanation, no one else has been in my new home lately. Is there a tactful way i could bring up the issue, short of stalking her and jumping out of the bushes to ambush her while she is wearing my pants? I know this is more than paranoia i just don't know how to handle the situation.

Answer 1

just be like..."oh im missing some pants"....and act really upset about it, and just say "you didnt take them did you?"  

Answer 2

I'd chalk that up to experience and no longer consider this person a friend. Friends don't steal from friends.  

Answer 3

Why dont you go to HER house and spend the night and rummage through HER closet and just take them back?

But if you want to be the bigger person i think it may be too late now for confrontation. What will she say? Ya i took them? No she wont admit it and she can use this against you. Just really be weary of her next time she comes over.

You could test her by placing some really nice stuff out in the open for her to see and see if she takes them. You will know for sure that you put them there so there wont be any question afterwards if she took them or not.

Answer 4

not much of a friend if they stole from you, they werent thinking of your friendship were they tell em you want your stuff back and tell em to get the f*** out

Answer 5

There just pants.

Let Karma deal with it.

Answer 6

There is CONFRONTATION and then there is confrontation.  If you want to face her down because you have already decided that she has stolen you slacks....Don't bother you have already decided that there is not friendship and she isn't going to give them back.

If you are willing to give her a chance and maybe get your slacks back

you might try asking if she saw them the night she stayed overnight? That you remember hanging them up just before she arrived.

If she comes up with some lame excuse, but returns them...Great and then you can decide then if you want to continue the friendship.  Personally, My friends don't steal from me and people who do are not my friends.

Answer 7

Confront her! If you don't you will never know and your friendship will be based on NO TRUST! You have to do it! Even if it does s***w the friendship would you wanna be friends with a theif

Answer 8

I would just tell her you lost some pants around the time she was there and ask her if she saw them anywhere but not just go right out and say i think you stole my pants.

Answer 9

uhh if your confident you were stolen from

Answer 10

Hiya. Tricky. Even if you did say something she would probably deny it. The thing to do is just put her on the spot. Talk to her as normal and say something like 'It's really weird. Lots of my clothes have just disappeared from my closet'. See her reaction. See what she says. Play it as if you don't think it's her but you just think it's extremely odd. If you did say anything, it would probably end up friendship gone and a denial. Unless you want to get the police involved...  

Answer 11

just casually drop into conversation that you've lost some trousers, but DON'T openly accuse her. Sit back and watch her reaction, it should be clear from that whether she took them or not.  

Answer 12

Honestly, you might want to know for definite first.

Take my advice lightly, but personally, I would maybe go to her house, just to visit, and maybe work your way into her bedroom. Just see if you see the pants.

If it's more than like 4 or 5 pairs of pants, you might want to just casually ask if she's seen them.

Answer 13

just ask her has she seen them..tell her u remember that they were in your room..an she was in your room..did she happen to see them because you can't find them..if she denies it..spend the nite at her house an rummage thru her stuff while she is sleep an see if you can find ur slacks..GOOD LUCK

Answer 14

LOL. I'm picturing you jumping out of the bushes.

Here is what you do. You say "hey the other night when you slept over, did you borrow some of my pants? I can't seem to find blah blah and blah that I just bought. I've torn up my house and I can't find them. I could have sworn I had them in the closet. My only thought is that you borrowed them and forgot to tell me."

Give her an out. If she doesn't take it, then stalk her.