Should i convert to Judaism? for my fiancee?

Question

my boyfriend of 4 years, is now my fiancee. I know theyre is only one problem. he is an Orthodox Jew, he isnt very stict at all but his parents are. Im a Catholic, and i love my religon and going to mass or church. His parents want us to have a traditional Jewish wedding, so does he. My parents want me to get married in a church and stay faithful to my true-religion since birth.

What should i do?

Answer 1

It's rather a moot point, because no rabbi is going to aid in your conversion if you don't believe in the teachings of Judaism -- and esp. since your motivation is to convert for marriage.  That is a big no-no.  A rabbi will not aid in the conversion of someone who is only converting for marriage -- conversion is a *very* serious endeavor, for not only you, but also for the rabbi.

Are you sure his strict orthodox parents know you're catholic??  They're fine with the two of you dating??  I am sure you're a nice person, but I have not heard of an orthodox family being fine with their son marrying a Christian.

I'd suggest seriously looking at the long term effects of this relationship -- odds are it isn't going to turn out the way you are hoping it will.

Answer 2

What were you doing dating him in the first place? If you were a serious Catholic you should have known better.

His religion DOES allow for a relaxed belief yours does not.

Answer 3

Religion is personal, if you're converting for someone else it's disrespectful to that religion. Besides you can't just "convert" to Judaism - there is a lot of work you need to put in and if the Rabbi suspects you aren't taking this on out of personal choice there's a chance he may refuse. I've known several cases of this happening. The Jews - sorry for the generalisation - are very proud of their religion, don't insult it.

X

Answer 4

If you truly believe in the Lord Jesus, then you should not convert to Judaism. From being Catholic, you know what the true gospel is. If you don't just follow the trappings of your religion, but believe in your heart that Jesus was the Son of God, and was crucified and resurrected for the salvation of mankind, then you can't be Jewish! I know because I used to be Jewish, I'm now Christian, and I was told by Jews that I am no longer considered Jewish. If you convert to become an Orthodox Jew, you will have to renounce Christ, your savior. Do you really want to do that?

Now, the wedding is a different issue. I'm not too familiar with the Catholic view of marriage, but from my limited knowledge marriage is a Sacrament, right? So if you want the Sacrament to be valid you have to have it performed by a Catholic priest, yes? If you don't believe this then don't worry but if you do then this is obviously a problem. Also, there will be conflicts if you have children. Will they be raised Jewish or Catholic? Will they trust and follow Jesus or not? This is a very important issue. I'm actually surprised that the two of you got engaged to begin with.

Answer 5

I second the non-denominational ceremony. However, maybe the parents should meet and discuss this. As for choosing your religion, that is up to you and no one else.

@ God's Child: No we don't believe in Jesus as the savior/messiah.

Answer 6

This matter goes far beyond converting your beliefs into something you may not agree with. You are gambling with putting your soul at risk for all of eternity and might end up in h**l. You have to stand up for yourself on this most urgent matter.

I can tell you from experience, that the two different belief systems are going to be a continual sore spot in your relationship.

With that said, I would like to point out that I find major error in the Catholic doctrine. If you would like to discuss this further, please email me and we can talk about this.  

Answer 7

Move on now.  It won't get any easier.

If you're not ready to do that, visit both a rabbi and a priest for their advice.

.

Answer 8

Only if your fiancee is willing to convert to your perspective.

Answer 9

Stay Catholic... just do it in a synagogue or something.

Answer 10

I wouldn't unless you are sure you feel called to do so. If you or he give up something that is important to you and that you love for the other one day it will come between you in regret.  In the end though this decision is yours to make. Only you can choose what best makes you happy just giving my two cents worth. God bless you in whatever you choose to do.

Answer 11

I can't imagine how you could even consider converting to Judaism if, as you say, you love your faith. You, as a Catholic, believe in Jesus. You believe he is God, the Messiah, the Savior. He, your fiance, does not. Converting would mean going backwards, you would join a faith still awaiting the Messiah...how could you seriously do this when you know he has come? How could you deny yourself the Eucharist, the ability to receive Christ? It certainly seems that you two should have discussed this before becoming engaged. What about children? Will you also deny them the knowledge of Christ as our Savior?

If comes down to the two of you. You should not marry in one faith or another to please you parents, but you should consider each others beliefs. Neither of you can convert to a faith you cannot accept. But you can, possibly marry if you respect each others faiths. This is something you must discuss and decide together.  

Answer 12

"Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.-Ruth 1:16

It is ultimately your choice but i believe that if you know he is the right man for you than do what your heart tells you is best.  

Answer 13

You are still getting married? Even after he cheated? You are a saint!

Answer 14

WHY you have to marry a Jewish anyway

Answer 15

If you change for him, your relationship sucks.  Sorry, but that's the truth.  Why doesn't he change for you if he's not strict?  I take it he knew you were Catholic.  You were aware he was Jewish.  For 4 years that was ok with both of you, but now it's not?  Why don't you have the wedding that you guys want and not what your parents want?  

Answer 16

What if you had two ceremonies?  Have the traditional Jewish one and the traditional Catholic one, and if you are planning on having kids you can teach them about both religions and give them the choice of which they want to follow.  You could study Judaism, but if you don't want to convert than don't, just like if your fiancee wants to study Catholicism but not convert (just know more about what the other believes).

Don't listen to half of the people on here, find the cominalities on of the two religions (after all Jesus was a Jew) and never stop loving each other!

Answer 17

One of the golden rules of life in general: Never change for a man.

I'd suggest having a non denominational wedding.

Answer 18

my opinion?

yes!

otherwise the marriage has a strong probability of failure.

of course thats not saying much, in todays world half of all marriages end in divorce.

mixxed religious marriages are higher on the list of probability.

however love and commitment can overcome most obstacles if not all.  

Answer 19

well, if i were you i would do the traditional Jewish wedding, but that's because i generally do not like Catholic religious leaders (no offense meant just i have yet to really meet any that have a strong desire to know God) but you should never convert just because you want to mary someone... it should be because you think the other religion is the truth. though if you have an open mind and willing to be a part of a church that from what i've studied are the closest to what the early Church was like i recommend researching messianic Judaism (though as a lot of Jews don't like messianic Jews it can backfire on you...)

Answer 20

In Judaism, do they believe in Christ Jesus?  that is the most important part of this.  I agree with Eric:  Ask God and Christ Jesus to solve this question.

Answer 21

You should convert to Judaism only if you believe in it.  

Answer 22

Are you sure your boyfriend and his family are very Orthodox Jews? If they were, they would know that no conversion to Judaism is possible on grounds of love affairs and marriage. If on the other side you are a devout Catholic, why on earth should you change your religion? Religion is a relationship between man and God, not a matter of marriage ceremonies. Ask a rabbi and a priest, rather than Yahoo, where people tend to be very biased. I'm not sure your question is very serious.  

Answer 23

I think you and he needs to sit down and have a talk of who the Lord Jesus is to you and him. If they clash one of you is in big trouble!

Answer 24

Neither. Both of you should get married in a non-denominational ceremony.

Answer 25

No, you absolutely shouldn't. If you don't feel that Judaism is the right religion then you would be untrue to yourself and lying to God to convert. I'm neither Catholic or Jewish, so I have no bias one way or another. I simply believe that it is important to be true to your spiritual beliefs. If you have any sincere doubts about your faith, ask God to guide you. Otherwise, work out a compromise between your beliefs and your fiance's beliefs, and be prepared to do so over and over again throughout your marriage. In fact, have you two discussed how to raise your children, should you have them? This could be a very, very messy situation and now is the time to work it out between yourselves. (Neither of your parents really get a say in it.)

Answer 26

youre gonna have to decide whats best for you, not your parents, and likewise with him. im married to a jew, his family isnt orthodox, but they do celebrate all the holidays and take it serious, but they all have been welcoming to me. but it wasnt hard for me because im not religious, so i will probably convert myself one day, but ill tell ya that jewish people are serious when it comes to their culture and religion, its very important to them. if this doesnt worry you , then get married and enjoy your life together, if you two have an understanding, then other people will come around after a while.

Answer 27

1 - Neither of you is ready to get married.  Nobody should get married until they know what they themselves believe.  If you are thinking about  going from a religion that teaches that Jesus is the messiah to one who teaches that the messiah has not yet come, you don't know what you believe yet.

2 - Being unequally yoked in the #1 important matter of life is the biggest reason for divorce.  Nobody should get married to someone with whom they would be unequally yoked.  Neither of you should be getting married.

3 - God has no grandchildren.  Each of us has to have our own relationship with Christ to be saved.  Whether or not your parents are saved (accept Christ as Lord and Savior) has zero bearing on whether or not you are saved.  You need to decide who Jesus is..... for yourself.  And you need to do that BEFORE you start dating or thinking about who to marry.  You are not ready to be married.

In summation - you are not ready to get married.  Figure out FIRST who you are.

Answer 28

Clearly neither of you actually believe the core tenets of your faiths (both of you plan to marry hellbound cultists, both of you are semi-willing to discard the beliefs), so why do you persist in carrying them like millstones around your necks?

Be honest, be free and get a registry office wedding. Save yourselves years of grief and face down all the parents now before you start involving children in this infantile scenario.

Answer 29

this is totally messed up, why doesn't HE convert instead of you?

My point is that it is silly for him to ask this of you also remember that this change is forever!

Best thing to do is to either have two weddings (yeah its silly but its been done) or have it set at a neutral place (meaning a hotel or some other place, NOT a church, etc) and have both representatives of the religions do a dual ceremony wedding.

Answer 30

Religion should be a personal choice and shouldn't be influenced by parents or fiancees.

You shouldn't have to change your faith just to suit him and neither should he.

  

Answer 31

Well i think it is weird if you are catholic and become a jew. I don't have a problem with jewish people but they don't believe that christ has come. If your catholic then of course you know that he has. Becoming a jew means denying christ. Do you think you could do that? I believe it will take a lot of thinking a praying to come up with the answer