Should i feel this way?

Question

So im 19 i have a part time job , took a year off of school and wanting to start community college this summer/fall., but i feel like im behind or something like everytime i turn around someone my age is getting married having kids and im still single lol people tell me im smart and not to worry about stuff like that but its getting to me for some reason its like everyone is moving on with their life and expanding and im staying the same. should i be feeling this way or is it just all in my head. Im not behind right? lol

Answer 1

You are not behind at all.  My husband worked after high school, and didn't really start college until he was like 23.  Now that was a bit behind.  But he finished, got a degree, got married at 32, and started his family at 33.  Everything is fine.  People usually are waiting longer to get married and have kids.  Please listen when people say you shouldn't be worrying about this- really just appreciate being your own person right now.  This is the time for you to be selfish and just think about yourself.   Once you get married and have kids you can't do that anymore, which kinda sucks sometimes.

Answer 2

You are absolutely NOT behind!!!!   I'm 27 and I can understand what you're gong thru.  Most of my friends are married and some with kids on the way.  Everything happens in its own time and it will happen when its meant to!  Life's not a race....

Answer 3

no you are sooo not behind.

its not smart to get married so young. people do a lot of maturing in their 20's. just because your young and in love doesn't mean you will be after you acutally experience life after high school. especially when there is a whole world of guys why settle for the small spectrum you are exposed to in high school.

and if you are so in love at that age, whats the harm in putting off marrige, if you think you'll be in love for the rest of your lives then you're sure to be in love in a couple of years.

its ridiculous for people to be getting married at such a young age. you need to live life before you settle down. trust me you won't regret not being married at 19

Answer 4

No, you really shouldn't.

You're only 19. There's no reason you should be anywhere but where you are.

You're going to be going to school, which is good.

You have over a decade to start having babies (if that's even something you want to do at all), so you need not be in any hurry.

It's nuts to worry about life-schedules, or what the few people you know happen to be doing.

You're not "behind" because there IS no schedule.

What you're beginning to live if YOUR life; it's what it is.

It would be lunacy to do something stupid just to "catch up" or whatever.

Answer 5

You have lived 1/5th of your life (and thats being very generous ... its probably between 1/3th and 1/4th). Do not let any inclinations and doubts you have accumulated from a 1/60th detremine the remainder of your accomplishments.

And in the words of Tyra Banks, "You go, girl!"

Answer 6

WOW.  Just think what your married friends and friends with kids are missing out on!  19 isn't even old enough to drink!  Not old enough to finish college!  Forget thinking YOU are missing out on something, you are right on track, living life - and I think you are going to have a few friends who will be jealous of you, very soon, because they are missing out of a very important phase of life.

Answer 7

First, no-one can tell you how you 'should or should not' feel.  Your feelings are your own, embrace them, accept life as it is at the moment.  You are right where you should be at this time in you life.  You sound very responsible.

Wait a few years when your education is complete, you are making lots of money at a good job and someone who is also educated will come along that you can build a responsible life with.

In a few years take a look at your friends who are getting married at 18 & 19, saddled with children and struggling to feed and clothe, the marriage in trouble, looking for a job to pay for daycare and dealing with depression because they threw away this phase in their life and can never recover it.

We have 'feelings' about all the circumstances in our lives but we are responsible to rationalize these feelings and look at them in a practical manner.

Throw yourself into your education, be good to yourself and find one thing to enjoy each day.

Answer 8

In 5 years when half your friends are already divorced and some of them are even remarried, you may not feel so bad.  Hopefully, by then, you'll have made some progress toward your goals, grown spiritually, emotionally and financially, and maybe even be married, or at least getting to know the person you will commit to for a lifetime.  It's good to spend some time laying a strong foundation before trying to build a marriage and family!

While it may seem your friends are moving while you stay the same, your friends may later realize they built on shaky ground... put the cart before the horse, and all those other "cliches" about what happens when you skip A before moving to B and C, etc.

Perhaps one reason you feel left behind is that your friends' new lifestyles make you feel like in the way, left out... maybe like a third wheel on a bicycle in a world of couples.  Once you get back in school, at least some of those you meet will also be following a path similar to yours.  Maybe you can build some new friendships there to round out your network of support!

One thing about community college... there are people of many ages and maturity levels there.  There will be a bunch of dumb kids who are only there because their parents insist on it, and there will be adults returning to school, some of who will have married early and then realized they needed for education to survive financially.  But it's MUCH harder to do go back when you have the responsibility of rent, electric bills, kids, jobs, etc.  

Another way to broaden your perspective is to get involved in some volunteer effort, community project or church mission, both to meet well rounded people who want to give back to their communities, but to see people in need, and the impact of the choices they have made in life.

I know you REALLY already know the answer to the question you asked, and I'm telling you the stuff you already know, but you need encouragement, right?  This is the kind of answer that my sister and I always add:  "Record this and play it back to me next week when I'm the one needed it, OK?"

Pray for wisdom and pursue the path that is right for you.  I pray God's VERY best for you!

Fairelight