Should i forgive my cousin again?

Question

my cousin and i used to be inseparable for more than 22 years. we are now both 27. it all started when i became pregnant for the first time. our lifestyles had become different and we grew apart. she since moved out of state and in the past 5 years have only spoken to each other a few times. during the time that i became pregnant with my 3rd child she was also pregnant with her first child. we started talking all the time and she was in the process of moving back. the day after i gave birth she suffered a miscarriage at 21 weeks. she took it terribly hard and i ddnt know what to say to her bc i just had a baby. we cried together on the phone and bc my mom had died i knew how she felt. she finally moved back and whn i went to see her she wouldnt look at my baby or hold him and i could understand. what i cant understand is why she no longer talks to me. i called several times n the last 2 1/2 mnths nd still no ansr. whn my mom died she turned her back on me and i forgave her.

Answer 1

i think you should talk to her and ask her what her problem is

Answer 2

well it seems like she must be jealous/depressed because you ended up having a baby while hers died so she obviously has hard feelings. i would advise you carry on being kind and loving towards your cousin or start if you were not behaving like that before, who knows, and maybe point out that its not yours or the baby's fault that the baby was born and that she knows you are sorry and regret her loss but cannot help it about your baby and ask her to please not take it out on you and help her find some healthier ways to get out her anger, frustration, confusion,or jealousy.

Answer 3

Seems like she's still in mourning. She may feel like you want to rub your newborn in her face and she's still sore because of that. A miscarriage is hard to get over, especially since it was her first and she sees you w/ your third. Don't take it too hard, give her some more time and then try talking to her. If she still wants to distant herself from you then let it be. Hard thing to do, but you just can't force someone to want to be close to you when they don't want to be and on top of that have nothing in common. Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm not so sure.

Answer 5

Perhaps your cousin is in so much pain she is not able to see your pain.  It sounds like she doesn't know how interact with you, and is pulling away to protect her own heart.  Losing a parent and losing a baby are two different pains.  As hard as it was losing my dad unexpectedly, its nothing like losing a baby. You have hopes and dreams for them, and you never think you will bury your child.  I would give her space, and call her once in a while, (her birthday, etc) and wait for her to initiate the relationship again.  Perhaps by then, you will be able to talk about this candidly and compassionately.

Answer 6

She just needs some time to her self. She just lost a baby. Something that was apart of her growing inside of her.

It is very hard to understand if you have never experienced it yourself.

Losing your mother is one thing but losing your child is another.

It is much hard then losing a parent. Trust  me I know been there.

Give her sometime to her self. When she is ready she will call you.

I hope this helps. Good luck & congrats!!!!