Should i have another baby now or wait?

Question

i am in my 30's. i have a baby girl that has just turned one. i want another baby but i don't know how hard it will be to have 2 little ones. would you wait until she is at least 2 and out of diapers to get pregnant again or should i start trying now? i have to get off birth control pills again first but what is your opinion?

Answer 1

Its good to have your kids grow up together without such a big age gap. They would be able to play with each other when they get older instead of arguing all the time. I think you should start trying right now and just have patience with them if you do. Good Luck on your family!

Answer 2

I think it'sa personal decision that only you can make. The only thing I would be concerned about is as you are in you 30's the longer you wait the harder it could be and the risk of complications is higher

Answer 3

if you are capable of handling one then why not have another one. You are old enough to have made the decision to have the first one why leave it up to complete strangers to make that decision for you. Good luck on your decision.

Answer 4

Start trying now.

For starters, the average healthy couple can expect it to take 6 months to get pregnant.  Yes, some hit the jackpot on their first spin of the wheel, but playing the odd, you only have about a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant in any given month, and that assumes you did the baby dance at the right time of the month.  So based on the odds, if you started trying NOW, you could expect it to take 15 months before the next baby arrives.  By then, your girl will be well beyond 2yo, and (again based on averages) out of diapers.

But now lets add the biological clock.  You're already in your thirties, so your fertility is already starting to decrease.  The older you get, the smaller the odds of getting pregnant in any given month becomes.  Also the older you get, the more likely you are to have a miscarriage.  

So regardless of how fast you got pregnant with your 1st, from an odds perspective, there is the very real possibility that even if you decide today to begin TTC, that it might not happen for a few years.  Yes, it's possible that you MIGHT get pregnant the 1st month you try.  But that is about as likely as it is that you will spend two years trying to conceive at your age.

For us, it has taken over 10 years to have 3 children (and the 3rd one isn't here yet).  We waited until early 30s to begin trying.  It took 4 years to conceive our 1st son.  4 years and three miscarriages later, we conceived our 2nd son.  2 years later, we conceived our daughter.  So our third child will be born almost 11 years to the month from when we first started trying to have children to build our family.  

So unless you want to do something like try to ensure your children are not closer than 4 years apart under the idea that they won't be in collage at the same time 20 years from now, and risk that 4 year plan turning into a 6 year reality, I would suggest going ahead and trying now as see what God has in mind for your family.

Answer 5

I like the idea of having children close together.  Me and my sister are 13 months apart and my mom said it was hard at first, but it was the best thing that happend.  We are now bestfriends and have done everything together since we were little.  I want to try and get pregnant when my son turns 1 as well.  good luck!

Answer 6

Do whatever makes you happy! If you want another have one! I have some friends that have multiple children that say it was nice having at least a 2-3 year difference and some that have children so very close that would not have it any other way. Do whats best for you and your family. Good luck!

Answer 7

If I were you, I'd start trying now.  It could take a few months to get pregnant, and so then by the time the baby is born, your daughter would be over 2.  

I know how hard it can be to get pregnant, and I wouldn't wait too long to start trying.  

Answer 8

THE ANSWER LIES IN U....U ARE THE ONE THAT IS GOING TO GET PREGNANT....I THINK IT'S BETTER IF U ASK YOUR HUBBY IF HE WANTS ANOTHER CHILD

Answer 9

well,i have a 10 1/2 monthd old daughter and im pregnant again and im 7 months. I would say try for another one when your ready...

Answer 10

Personally... I have always heard and it has been my experience that the second one is the hardest.  I am 33 and have just had my 3rd son.  My other two are 10 and 7.  For me, I really didn't care about diapers, they didn't bug me at all so I wouldn't care if I had one or three in diapers so for us that wasn't a deciding factor.  IMHO I waited with my first two for the first son to be walking and slightly independant before getting preg with #2.  Independant like he could bring me diapers and wipes or he could crawl up into the car and get in his seat.  He didn't need me to constantly carry him.  I also waited to space them 3 yrs apart so that my 1st would be in preschool and I would have that one on one time with my 2nd like I did with my first.

For me, it wasn't hard at all when they were little, it was when they got older that it got hard, lol.  You never know who did what... if they both say 'not me' then you have to figure it out whereas when there is only one.. then you know who the culprit is, lol.  

Now you factor in that you are in your 30's... well that adds a whole new spin.  We had our two boys and wanted to try for a girl so we got preg and I have to tell ya that it is way harder physically this time around.  So I cant really say what having two lil ones in your 30's will be like... but in general... if you want another child then go for it.  Motherhood isn't always roses... there will always be tough times no matter what you just work through it and before you know it the lil one years are gone.

I would just weigh in a few things... when do you want to retire.. do you want both kids to be off to college about the same time or years apart?  Do you want to wait and give your girl time to herself and have another in a few years where she can 'help out' instead of compete?  Or.. do you want to have them close together cause lets face it...lol... we aint gettin any younger... so they can be playmates?

The whole diapers and such is such a fleating time in their lives.  It will go by so quickly and you won't hardly remember it before they are in sports and school and have friends and become their own lil people.  I wouldn't weigh my decision based on diapers and such.  I would look more into the long term questions above.

This is just my opinion  :)  

I hope this helped!!  Good Luck whatever you decide!!!!

Answer 11

Thats a tough one.

I say wait to make them AT LEAST two years apart. It'll make life easier on you and your children. Children too close in age tend to feel neglected just because they think their sibling is receiving more of the same kind of attention (and they will be one year apart).

Answer 12

It really is up to you.  If you can handle two babies at the same time, then you should do it. My philosophy is i wanna do it all at once.  That way they grow together and they will have closer bond cause of the age gap. My sister is 10 years older than i am, and growing up we never really talk cause we got nothing in common.  Anyway i think for me about 2 years age gap is good.

Answer 13

just get it over with so wen your kids graduate u can be there for ur kids..dont wait till u get old then have kids..maybe u wont be there wen they grow old...

Answer 14

Although I don't have any kids, you may not want to hear my opinion, but I say go ahead and start on the second one, your not getting any younger. I think its good to have kids close together.