Should i help her out? need advice...?

Question

My next door neighbour has just had a baby 6 weeks ago and she has a 7 year old... she is a single mum and i can hear shouting at her little ones now and again she looks really tired and stressed out to the max.

Should i offer her some help with the baby so she can get some rest or would i look interfearing? I really want to help her out but I dont know if I should knock on her door and ask....

I have a 8 month baby who is good as gold and i wouldnt mind helping her.... what do you think i should do? and if i was to knock on her door what do i say?

Answer 1

just say hey i am your neighbor and see that u have a newborn and a 7 year old and was just letting you know if you ever need any help or a hand for a few hours then im always here and give her ur number!

Answer 2

Perfect - the offer would be terrifically nice.  She may just need some positive company too.  Tell her you know how tough it is to have a little one and you figured it would be nice to get to know your neighbor especially since her baby is around the same age as yours.  Don't mention the yelling or anything (of course) but try to make friends and tell her that next time she needs a nap she should pop over with the baby.

If she responds positively, go over and visit once a week to "check in on her"

The better you get to know her the more you can just slide in and help.  Find out when she goes grocery shopping and tell her to drop the baby off or the 7 year old off for her grocery trip.  

Answer 3

I'd knock on the door and let her know you'll give her 3 hours of free child care so she can go have some "me time"... She'll probably appreciate it especially since you're a neighbor and have a baby of your own!

Answer 4

perhaps you could buy her a ticket to somewhere and offer to look after the children.  

Answer 5

What a nice neighbor you are! Yes, absolutely knock on her door. Ask her over for tea or coffee, suggest you take a walk together with the little ones. Take them to a park or playground together. Then, offer to watch the children for an hour or so so she can get a break.

A genuine interest in another person's well being is never interference.  

Answer 6

I think it depends on if you were friendly with her before the baby was born.  If not, don't interfere.  If you were, just say that you wouldn't mind looking after the baby while she shopped (with advanced notice).

Answer 7

If i were you yes, since you know already how hard to have one and how stressing life is specially if she's just herself to take care of her baby. maybe she's beginning to suffer a post natal trauma and intervention of someone that she can rely on. also it's dangerous for the child the way she behaves at that age,newly born baby doesnt know yet whats going on, what the child needs after 9 months of incubation is love not bad treatment.

So if you are a good mother to your child you know very well that the child next door wants the same love you have for your own.

what you have to say!! simple, hello i am your neighbour i know that you just gave birth, seems that you are having difficult time after giving birth, if i can help i would be glad to help you so you can get a rest. i know how you feel because i've been through that so i want to share you this experience.

Answer 8

I agree with Nicky. You should surprise her with a meal. I would appreciate that to the max.

Answer 9

Your a good neighbor, first I would try speaking to her. Make a friendship with her and then offer help! I think thats a good idea and Im sure taht she is stressed out and tiered. I would even offer to help witht the 7 year old. Dont get into deep talks with her yet about her marriage. Thats very sad about what is happening to her.

Answer 10

Well I can tell you that there really isn't a right answer. I am a new mother of a 6 week old myself and I am tired and stressed myself sometimes but I know if my neighbor asked I wouldn't let her. I guess it depends on how well you know her and if you watched her other child before she might say yes. You could always just knock on the door and ask her if she would like a break for a little while to get out or just take a nap. The worst that could happen is she says NO but it would be really nice of you to atleast put the offer out there.

Answer 11

You can drop off a prepared meal for her to freeze so she has a night where she doesn't have to think about making food. I'd just simply say that you remember how hard it was when the baby was that young (and too boot with an older child) and that if she needs anything to give you a ring. If she's up for it I'd offer to watch the kids occasionally, make a meal, do a load of laundry for her or run to the store for a few items when needed (you can let her know your shopping day and offer to pick up a few items). All the things we need and want to do when we hurried and rushed. I'd assume she's yelling at her 7 year old, as we all occasionally do when they break the same rule for the fifth time in an hour. Help is help tho and I'm sure she'd at least appreciate the offer even it she doesn't take it.