Should i ignore my husbands ex......?

Question

my fiancee and i planned on getting married in a year, because of extreme circumstances we ended up moving in together. I was hesitant at first but it has been a while and thus far it is working out great. I recently found out that i was indeed pregnant. we both have one child each from previous relationships. my ex is totally out of the picture and his ex is still involved. when we first got together we had a problem with his ex allowing him to see his son. After talking to her and trying to compromise she has allowed us to see him again. my fiancee and i have since become leagally married( although we are still keeping our original ceramony date we wanted to be married when our child is born). When she found out about this she filpped out again, and now says she doesnt want he child around me anymore, her reasoning because she feels she's being replaced.... i understand that she may be hurt but she is now calling my husband at all hours and making saying he cant see his son dispite the fact that he has joint custody. she is also threating me. what should i do...

Answer 1

It's a shame when it gets to this point, because now you'll have to involve the authorities (and who wants to do that?).  A restraining order for both of you, against her is in order.  Your husband should continue honoring the visitation schedule and calling the police when she refuses to give up her son.  

What a shame.

Answer 2

Been there, done that! I hear the women here say, "It is a shame, it has come to this." haha. They will all do the same as the vindictive women they be.

So listen. The ex, she will never be your friend, neither one of you. Never! she will hate you, your new child and the air you breath. The more your tell her about your finances and life she will use it against you in court. The Family Laws in regards to child support/custody are unfair, straight out, unfair. Spending money thinking you will get this great high powered attorney to make all the bad laws go in your favor is a farce.

You should ignore her totally. All your communication with her should be in writing, to hold your side of stories, if and when a third party like police and judge want proof of your actions. You should not tell her or the child  or friends who know you both, about your money situations, career advances or changes.

You should know that the ex's new lovers or husbands, will be brainwashed by her. She will make you and your honey to be complete deadbeats, who never pay her enough, on time, as much, or as she wants in her pretty little head.

The court order is basically just paper when it comes to visitation and custody. It will be more headache and trauma for the child to enforce it. The child will be frightened and hurt to see the police go to mothers house with daddy to get the weekend visits. Playing hardball this way only hurts the child and makes her hate you guys more.

There is so much more. I wish you luck.  

Answer 3

Look, if he has joint custody, then nothing will stop him from those orders, should she deny to hand the child over at the preordained times. Have the papers ready and call a cop to her home, produce the papers and she will be ordered to apply to those rulings and warned against violating them again and warned it's now on record.

   Her personal feelings and reasoning is not good enough. It will also be recorded by the officer, so get the complaint #.

Three warnings and she could loose custody.

   That is why this should all be dealt with and on record immediately after a divorce or break up. Both parties are bound by those orders, they change for no one's whims.

    As for the threats and calls at all hours, get a record system on the phones, save any text messages, letters, witness's.

    When you have her refusing visitation or better refusing for her own reasons, late night calls, threats, tell her you have been taping it all, then tell he what she has done is illegal on two different issue's and your thinking of taking her to court for breaking court orders, same for any threats.

    Both of these problems will be dealt with legally and just once. So if you need to do it, get it over with early on.

     Once a person is an ex, the only obligation owed legally or otherwise is to the child, other than that they have decided to end all other communication, obligation and relation.

     Therefor, her feelings, decisions and presence has little to do with your life, she owns those and

      Ex means over, finished.

Answer 4

She is violating a court order is there is a visitation decree in place.

Document everything and file charges against her.

Answer 5

file contempt charges

Answer 6

Take it to court!!

Answer 7

she needs time.  all things heal with time.  

Answer 8

It really sadens me that people use their kids in situations like this....they are not pawns or meal tickets....d**n they are innocent children!!!

Anyways,

Bottom line is it REALLY isn't up to her if he sees his child or not. That is what the court system is for. And if it is important for your husband to see his child & wants for his child(ren) to have as normal life as they can in a step family enviroment then he needs to stop dealing with her ALL together and go through the courts!  

Noone should ever have to compromise to see their own children! As long as they are good, safe, loving parents then they have every right to be a part of their childrens lives!

Answer 9

The best thing you can do for ALL of your sakes is- Be the better person.

Of course she is afraid of being replaced. I mean, your husband replaced her, think of how that would make you feel.

Best advise, keep your distance when it comes to their common child. Make it clear that you will support your husband 100% but you understand that you have no say when it comes to their decisions.  

Help your husband help her (his ex) understand that just because they are no longer together doesnt mean that he is not thinking of the best interest of their child and You being in their lives is a plus ! Be supportive and tell your husband and his ex to handle their own issues and leave you out of it.