Should i initiate or keep waiting for him?

Question

My husband and i havent made love since late february..1 night last week he said "we havent done something for awhile" and i said "yea like 3 months" then i said "so what happened" and he said "i dont know what did happen" and i said "i dont know you tell me" and then he said "i have been thinking about it"(meaning s*x)..Ever since that day i have been telling him that i want to have s*x and he says "oh yea"but yet makes no attempts to initiate anything..During most of our marriage i am the 1 who has initiated most of the time and of course he is always ready and willing and has NEVER said no to me but its getting a little old being the 1 who has to initiate most of the time so that is why i have been waiting for him to start something these last couple months..I have NEVER said no to him when he has initiated cause i love making love with him..He is 43,im 39 and we have been happily married 17 yrs...In the past i have told him numerous times he should initiate more often and he said

Answer 1

The fact that you have posted this very same question repeatedly over many months is a definite clue.

You are sexually incompatible.  If it bothers you that much get a divorce.

Answer 2

Stop your crying.. To answer your question, keep waiting. you fail to realize how long some men must wait for their wives. you feel that is o.k. & this isn't ?.. Look, patience is a virtue. Remember that.

Answer 3

Exercise with him and try to cuddle early morning-his testosterone is highest then.  Exercise helps to increase the homones as well- it also starts to give you that feeling of youth and being more s**y or desired.

Try your best not to critisize him and let him be him if you don't already-the mind is a crazy thing.

Try to laugh together and some of the other things you always enjoyed-and maybe he will make the first move or at least he'll think that he did....

If not talking might help. You should be able to initiate things but after that long-at your ages-you might need to get close mentally first.

Do the things he loves-even if he doesn't notice at first... it should be well worth waiting.

People have different s*x drives so it may be he is ageing differently than you are.

Take care of yourself and maybe he'll - join in or get the hint.

Take a look at the stressors in his life as well as yours.  Do what you can to decrease those.

Do you compliment him?  Try to look and smell -the way he likes?

Make a date with him.... when the time is right.

If it doesn't work.... talk with a Dr.  Sometimes it is a matter of the blood testosterone being too low-and that drive and thougths of s*x are not there.

Have you done something to hurt his feelings?  Look at when things changed- you need to communicate.

I hope things work out well for you and that this helps!

:)

Answer 4

"Happily" married ?

Perhaps a marriage counselor would be best.