Should i keep showing off my baby to church friends if i just adopted him or does he need to get use to fam?

Question

he has 2 adopted sisters as well one is 2 the other is 8mon and he is 6 mon got 4 days ago

Answer 1

I would think that as long as you're the one holding him (or some other immediate family member) that he'll be okay.  Don't forget about your other 2 babies.....you don't want them to grow up thinking that they're unloved.

I give props to you for having 3 children 2 years or younger.  2, 8 mo and 6 mo......that's plain crazy!

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 2

He needs to get accustomed to his family. Showing him off is natural, as long as you're the only one to hold him, and it's infrequent, short periods of sharing.

That's a lot of little kids all at once. Congratulations and best wishes.

Answer 3

I have a family member who has been looking into adoption and they've read that it is very important for the baby to bond with the mother for a specific period of time before being held by any other people.  They need to realize that it is you that is always there for them and that you are their mother, because you didn't give birth to them.  They need to learn to distinguish between mom and someone else.  Cuddle them and have lots of alone time with them.  Congrats and good luck:)

Answer 4

If you just got him, you need to spend time at home bonding with him.  Not running around all over the place with him.  Give the kid some adjustment period.

Answer 5

I think you should keep showing him off so he begins to get confortable in his enviroment. Make sure he has that special bonding time with your immediate family

Answer 6

We adopted both of our children from Korea, both at around 6 months old. We were advised not to have any visitors or take them out to meet people for at least the first week. Also for at least the first 6 weeks the parents should be the only ones holding and caring for the child.

I know others will tell you that all babies should be treated the same, however these babies have been through a lot, and everything in their lives just completely changed. They need to be in a calm, loving enviornment, and have a chance to get use to their new parents and siblings before they are introduced to others. Fostering s healthy attachment is very important for your child and your family.

Visit http://a4everfamily.org for some helpful advice on attachment in international adoption.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Why not, show your baby off to church friends... He is part of the family too.. The bigger the family the more love he will have.. Best wishes!!! Congratulations on your new little guy!!

Answer 8

First of all congrats I am waiting on my sons adoption to be finalized and 2nd show off your new baby it should not make a difference if they were born in your bellie or your heart

Answer 9

The more people in any child's life the better, especially when they are church friends!  What a great way for the child to learn that they are part of a huge family - friends included.  

Congratulations on your adoption.

Answer 10

don't show him off let him get used to his family

Answer 11

How is it going ?

Is the baby starting to get use to u?

I would show him off to anyone i could because i would be so happy :-)

Answer 12

You have to read your son!  Is he happy, eating well, sleeping well, crying little?  Is he fussy, restless, withdrawn?  Of course, do not overwhelm your child.  Don't take him to church and pass him around like he is a toy.  He is your son, so you must honor the change he has just gone through.  

Despite the myth, babies DO go through grief and loss when separated from the caregiver or parent they have known.  They show it in many ways -- go to others too easily, afraid of others, fussy, clingy, eating too much, not eating enough, etc.

So just use your common sense -- temper your joy and need to show off your baby with what is best for your baby!  THAT is your priority.  This time is not for you -- it is the time your baby needs patience, security, love.  Showing him off is not the priority.  His security is.  Go slow.

OK--I just read all of your posts!  You seriously need to get support from a local adoptive parents group!  You have so many issues related to this adoption, that I am afraid you may get overwhelmed.  Please -- do not adopt again unless all of these issues are calm and resolved.  How can you be asking if you should adopt again days after you brought this little guy home?  Children are not to be collected  like a hobby.  Please -- honor each of your children as individuals.  Spend time with each of them individually.  They need your time and attention.  Then you will know exactly what they need.  Learn to read your children's needs.  This takes really being with your children and being very observant and responsive to them.

Answer 13

First let me  congratulate you mom!! I see no reason you shouldn't show off your 3rd child. every mother  loves  to hear  how cute their child is . Just keep in mind you have two  others  you wouldn't want them to feel less important .

Answer 14

The more love he has, the better... no harm in him meeting a caring community!

Answer 15

3 under 5 is enugf to drive any one crazy!I have 3 that are now teens and yes I was so taird and worn out.We adopted our daughter at age 3 and she is now 9.We are adopting again end of this month I think you shuld stop for a few years and get those little ones into school before you do it again.As far as showing off your babys go 4 it but dont make him scard if hes shy about new people just take it slow.

Answer 16

I don't see that it would be a problem.

Answer 17

You have a new adopted baby and you are hanging out on yahoo!answers?

Answer 18

Sarah,

Seriously, have you done any research on attachment and bonding? I don't mean this to be ugly but you should do some reading. It will save you tons of pain and frustration in the coming years.

Think about it from your babies point of view. Your a little baby who only knows the people that you live with and the only home you have lived in. One day, out of no where some one comes and picks you up (you may or may not know them). They take you away from your home. They get on an airplane and you are sitting on some one's lap for 13 plus hours on a crowded airplane. They carry you through a crowded airport. Then they hand you off to some one you have never seen before. These people look weird. You have never seen anyone who looks like them. (Some children adopted at three or four years of age have told their adoptive parents that they thought their nanny gave them to monsters. This when they learned to speak enough English.) They smell different. The nannies you are used to seeing are not around. You wonder where they are. Are they coming back?  Then these strange looking people take you to places with lots of people and you are passed around. As you are passed to some one else, you think am I going to go back to those other people or are these new people going to take me for a few days?  The last person who handed you over to a stranger left and you haven't seen them again, what makes these people different than any of the others? In order for this child to learn you are his mother you need to be the only one to comfort him. You need to be the only one to change his diaper, feed him, bath him, carry him.

Parenting newly adopted children (even infants) is not the same as birth children. If they make such a thing as a two infant front baby carrier I would recommend it. Both of your infants especially your new son need to feel secure. Being passed around from stranger to stranger is not a way to build security and attachment.

Again I don't mean this to be harsh but it needs to be said.