Should i leave my bipolar husband ?

Question

my husband has bipolar disorder II it says it is a milder mania who are they kidding he drives me crazey when hes manic or depressed for the past few weeks he has constantly been talking about suicide said it would be better than life he has child support issues he doesn't work and he doesn't pay he cant keep a job because he always fights with everyone he just cant get a long no matter what i am tire dofa ll the fighting with him for over 10 years I want this over to a certain point but then the other point of me loves him but why when I have had to deal with sooo much do I feel sorry for him last week we got ina fight and he threw coffee on me and i threw coffee on him and then I threw the phone at him and then he hit me in the back neck and head about five times...is this really bipolar disorder can it make him act that way and then he wonders why i don't want to be with him romantically hello we get mad at each other every week and every week we dont talk for days he will sleep in another room than me what kind of marriage is this what is wrong with me am i wrong to want to try and then not want to try it is confusing really he has no insurance and he says he is going to committ himself and i really really hope he does because i am sooo tired of him talking about killing himself all the time it makes me crazy i mean come on i work all day and provide for the house the kids (we have no kids in common) and he is the one that is STRESSEd can someone help me out with that scenario why can't i be selfish or stressed or depressed that i financially do eerything myself i even bought the house we live in by myself one fo the times he got mad at me and went to his friends house for a month thought we needed time a part yeah usually time a part does help but then we are back to the same c**p again help me in UPSTATE NEW YORK please i have no friends to talk to i wish i did

Answer 1

wow... i can tell by the way you wrote this question that you are at a loss.  Every human being has a right to be happy and every human being has the right to find ways to improve themselves.  He may be talking about suicide becuase deep inside he knows what he is doing to you.  If he truly loves you , he will feel this way.  Since he is talking about suicide you definately need to get professional help.  Every state has free suicide help lines that you can call.  Since you have a computer google suicide help and you will have so many options for help.  Because your relationship has domestic violence, I would look at those options as well.  If he doesn't make an effort to improve with medical advice, then you may need to move on.  it's all about support and the willingness to change.  

Answer 2

you should really get him help or like put him into a mental institution.

i knew a couple like this and he ended up killing himself, would you want that to happen?

i know it may be stressful, but you really need to help him.

Answer 3

depression can make u wild is he on pills?

Answer 4

you know what i know EXACTLY were your coming from , my husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar also. hes been taking medications , but still has episodes. but you know what thankfully he hasn't hit me. hunny if he's hitting you, YOU NEED TO LEAVE. hes only telling you that hes gonna kill himself cos you have a certain type of pity for him, and he'll ALWAYS get you that way. my husband has his episodes , now I'm not saying hes an angel , hes not. hes soo far from it. i mean , ive thrown things at him too don't get me wrong, but he hasn't hit me. its truly hard to live with someone with this disorder cos they use it as an excuse to be an a*****e and that's not right. I'm just like you i want to leave but i love him soo much. we have two boys together, so I'm CONSTANTLY thinking of how the effect would be on them. idk hunny .. maybe we should start a yahoo online support for bipolar husband !! lol =)  i really hope things get better for you .. my prayers go out to you. i don't think anyone really knows how hard it is to be married with someone who has bipolar. literally its like walking around waiting for a time bomb to go off , and when it does , its like WW3 no joke. good luck hunnay .. if you ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to email me.  

Answer 5

I feel for you.  I was there years ago.  Had two kids and found out I was pregnant with the third, just after my husband went in the hospital for the first time!  I left him because I couldn't get over him cheating on me.  I know that was part of the disease too, but how do you stay with someone you can't trust?  My God he could have brought home a terrible disease while I was pregnant!!  I never have had one second of regret for leaving.  I wouldn't blame you for leaving either.  He isn't helping your marriage at all, only making life hard on your and your children, and they aren't even his kids!  I know just how hard and crazy it makes your life, I dealt with it for almost 3 years.  The most important thing I learned is...You can't make sense out of things that don't make sense!  I would drive myself nuts trying to make sense out of the things he said and did.  My ex has a sever case of it.  Our kids are grown adults now and he still calls me every once in awhile to see when he can see his kids, like there is still visitation or something!  I wish you the best, get someone to talk to, you really need it!!

Answer 6

hi just wondering if you`ve ever heard of punctuation coz itz real hard to decipher sentences and ideas when all u do is type anyway to answer that he is abusing you and needs meds real bad needs therapy too get out before he hurts you real bad an you end up in the hospital or real sick or something like that tell him he needs therapy and go with him if the beatings continue get out maybe you should leave now for safety issue oh yah  an if he cant keep a job and fights all the time he needs to be diagnose by a dr coz more is wrong than just bipolar he may have ODD check it out do a search an see what odds all about yah you should get out now for safety

Answer 7

Bipolar or not he has no right to abuse you. It sounds like he's not on medication. Medication might help or it might just make things worse for him. I know I took antidepressants once (I'm not bipolar) and I just felt much more miserable, behaved much more disfunctionally and ended up attempting suiciding.

Of course, you did make a commitment to him. If you can work on the abuse issues ie. if he can learn not to abuse you anymore (once an abuser, not always an abuser with counselling and such) you shouldn't leave him simply because he has an illness. You vowed not to leave him when he is sick anyway.

The abuse is the main concern right now though, so find yourself a safe place to stay  or if worst comes to worst, have him committed for being suicidal.

With bipolar 2, the manic phases are not so bad, but the depression is more often and sometimes worse.  

Answer 8

well my husband is bipolar and has never one time raised his hand to me to hit me ( even though i am sure he wanted to a time or two) but the thing is if you really love him you are the best one to help him. my husband don't like doctors or going to see them but after trying a couple different medicines they have finally found one that works good for him as long as he takes it. i am the same as you, mine don't work, don't pay child support don't do much around the house, is always in a bad mood, but i love him and would want him to stick by my side if i were him. that is what marriage is about, for better or worse through thick and thin. best of luck in what ever you decide to do. email me for someone to talk to and i am all for a group for bipolar husbands