Should i leave my husban or give it another try to fix things?

Question

I have married to my husband 4 years ago. He had such a short temper from begining and was not even afraid to hit me. later on I found out that he is an opium addict. we have a 2 years old baby who loves his dad too much. I and my husband seperated for 5 months but then decided to go back to eachother. now after tow months we again have problems. he is not telling me that we should separate forever. I am rally lost and hurt. I am not happy living with him but know that I am not happy if I seperate as i have alrady experienced the separation. what do you think i should do? if i decide to separate, is it safe to have share custidy of my baby as my husband is opium addict? I never seen my husband to do anything bad to my baby becasue of his addiction. but i am not sure of the effects of opium.

Answer 1

Hun....despite the fact that your child loves their father very much....the fact that he has hit you....is on crack....thats a very dangerous situation to be in for your child. You need to seek help right now, as in go to a shelter for women and children if thats what it takes to get away from him right now. Im not telling you to leave your husband forever and never let him see the child...but if he wants to be a part of his childs life he needs to get off the drugs and take anger managment if hes hitting you.

You are right in worrying about your childs feeling about his/her father, but right now your husband is in no condition to be unsupervised with your kid. Hopefully in the future he will get to a point to where he can have a great relationship with his child...whether or not you two are together is up to you to decide in the end, but your short term goal should be to get out now!

Answer 2

How old did you say you were?

Answer 3

You are a co-dependent.  You need to seek counseling before someone get hurts.  This is not a good situation for you and your child.    

Answer 4

DON'T THINK TWICE!! "LEAVE HIM!!!" Don't put your baby in danger. And don't sit there and take that abuse.No body deserves to be hit. He needs drug treatment.Just because he hasn't hurt the baby yet doesn't mean he wouldn't later. iT WOULD BE STUPID TO SHARE CUSTODY AS LONG AS HE IS UNDER INFLUENCE OF ANY DRUG.If your out then stay out

Answer 5

Well ****...  why don't you just try opium right along with him and be one big happy family...

YOU ARE LETTING A DRUG ADDICT RAISE YOUR CHILD!!!!!

That hurts a little doesn't it?  Well it should...  Now what are you prepared to do to end the fact that a drug addict is raising your child?  Are you and child going to leave?  Are you going to try to get this man help?  It's your choice, but risking your baby over a drug addition is dumb...

Answer 6

Slap yourself. Infact, every time you see your reflection slap yourself in the face.

This is seeing that you have self-abusive tendencies.

Opium, wow... he's like third world too.

Share custody!!! wow you really are self-abusive. I feel sorry for your child. Maybe you should call CPS and at least try to protect him/her.

Hurting people hurt others. Your husband needs to man up to his emotions... realize life is f'd up sometimes, and get over all the injustices in the world because he is just adding to the world's problems. For that matter, so are you. Fix it and be done with him.

Oh yeah, be careful he might just snuff you out.

And for you readers... Don't get mad at me. The world is so full of c**p, that I'm forced to be an *** hole.

Answer 7

Try to get him some help and support him, give him a time limit though if he cannot change within that then leave him.  He needs to change and maybe leaving him will help him realise what he needs to sort out.  You need to be strong about this because it's not just feelings this is a child's future and your own at stake.  

These are the effects of opium :

The duration of chemical effects of opium is about four hours. The drug produces relaxation, relief of pain and anxiety, decreased alertness, impaired coordination and serious problems with constipation.

Repeated or chronic use produces tolerance to all the effects except constipation. Continued use may result in weight loss, mental deterioration and death. Withdrawal sickness will occur if the drug is discontinued. Overdose can result in stupor, coma and death.

Being of similar structure, the opiate molecules occupy many of the same nerve-receptor sites and bring on the same analgesic effect as the body's natural painkillers. Opiates first produce a feeling of pleasure and euphoria, but with their continued use the body demands larger amounts to reach the same sense of well-being.

Answer 8

Please dear, seperate from him before he "accidentially" kills you.

Only have supervised visitations with the baby and him. Addicts hurt the people they love, sometimes kill without knowing until after they have done it. He is not the man you fell in love with and " Only he" can get the help he needs.

You and the baby MUST leave. I know it is so very hard being seperated but please know that you are stronger than you think you are. Give yourself credit and "find you again"

Answer 9

I'm so sorry this is happening.

You definitely need to separate from him.  If he's physically abusive to you, there is no guerantee he won't hurt your baby too.

You CAN be happy without him (even if you don't feel it now ). You are much stronger than you think.

Make new friends.Tap into your gifts, and if you have no gift, find something you enjoy and make it into one.  take a little time each week to volunteer somewhere.  Maybe at the animal shelter, at a hospice, or working with children. It will help you to take your mind off your problems and you will see just what a blessing you really are.

Whatever you do, don't make the same mistake twice. If a man has a temper, don't even date him. You may think he's going to change but it's more likely that he'll stay the same and you'll get attached.  

Settle for nothing less than a gentlemen.