Should i let my 15 year old daughter date?

Question

my 15 year old daughter is asking me if she can have a boyfriend. and i think that it could interfear with her studies, am i wrong to say no?

Answer 1

there's no easy way to answer that.  it truly depends on your relationship, and on your child, and her environment.  but please, don't make the cardinal mistake and assume that your judgement is always best for your child.  ask other parents (with their children in the same school) for advice, maybe?  and don't take that as law, either.  take in lots of info and make a decision based on that.

Answer 2

dont let her the studies are important

remember college is the place everything happens

shell meet her bf there

then ct life

Answer 3

Chances are that if she's asking if she can have a boyfriend, she already does...or at least has someone in mind. When you give a definitive NO, many kids will just do it behind your back anyway. Tell her your concerns, tell her she's still a little young, but if she wants to have a boy over to the house sometimes, while you are there, you can get to know him and see how they are together. If you like him and she keeps up with her studies, she can start having a few more privileges, i.e. "going out" with him in group situations, etc. If she's responsible, her privileges will continue to increase. I'm on my last of 4 children. I'm happy to be pretty much "done" with that part of child-rearing. My two oldest, both girls, had these kinds of limitations and have now found wonderful husbands. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

there's no one size fits all answer for this. i'd suggest telling her it's ok, as long as she's clear that if her studies begin to suffer then she won't be allowed to go on dates until they pick up again. it's important that she has freedom and you trust her, while at the same time making it clear that there are priorities she needs to follow.

Answer 5

Let me first ask, are you aware of what goes on with teenagers?  You must first be a very informed parent before you allow your daughter to date.  The second question I have is, do you know anything about teenage boys?  Oh my, if you don't, you need to be reading some books.  I have a boy and a girl, and they are very different.  I also used to be a high school teacher, and you should be very informed of what goes on with teenagers these days.  There is an insurmountable pressure for both boys and girls--for boys a conquest, and I hate to say that, for girls, it is to look good, and there is so much pressure that comes with that.

I would recommend that you have a support group of you and other parents, preferably parents of your daughters friends, and if there isn't one, you will need one.  You all need to get together and talk about what is going on with them.  If your daughter should ever say she is spending the night with her friend, "Katie," you should be in a support group with Katie's parents, and be able to call and ask if she is there and not with a boyfriend.

Dating can interfere with her studies, but she needs to spend some time between now and when she is 16 proving that she is responsible, and you need to have conversations repeatedly with her about dating and what she is looking for and if she understands boys and what they are looking for, etc. etc.  You have to keep the lines of communication open and be willing to talk about it all--I mean all of it!  IT is so complicated!

When she is 16, I would allow her to "date" in a group situation.  !6 year olds are still not mature enough to handle the pressures that go into dating, but if they were in a group situation, it would take the pressure off and allow them to be themselves and get to know others in a more pressure-free situation.  Dating should be about having fun, not being alone and being forced to cross sexual lines they are not mature enough to cross yet.  

I would also recommend that she be a part of some kind of church youth group that could be a more positive situation.  I would also recommend she read a book called, "Why I kissed dating goodbye."

Also, pray hard for her, because it is very difficult being a teenager in today's society.  You must communicate with her about all of the what most adults would consider "the difficult issues."  Don't be embarrassed, because she will know it, and she won't talk to you, and she will get her s*x education from her friends, and she already has, you may just not know much about it.

Answer 6

I do think you are. She needs more freedom as she gets older. Let her have a boyfriend but make her understand your rules.

Answer 7

Why don't you ask to meet the boy first and see if you approve.  In my oppinion, the boy should not be more than a year older or younger than she is.  Its a good age to start dating, but not get into a serious relationship yet.  If you are thinking that she doesn't already have a boy in mind to date, then she probably wouldn't be asking for your promission.

Answer 8

I think let her.  If it gets out of hand stop her.

Answer 9

First of all, no, you're not wrong to say "no". However, you'd better have your reasons thought out so that you can deal with your daughter's reactions.

You might want to start out by asking her why she wants a boyfriend and what she thinks that entails. It might be more innocent than you expect, involving little more than going to an occasional movie. Or not. Obviously, if you haven't talked about the facts of life with her, now might be a logical time for that.

Answer 10

i think it's too early.girl usually start yonger,but i disagree.i think it's going to pull her away from her studies and she's too young.explain to her why not,becase if you just say no she'll just do it.

Answer 11

Wrong to say no definatly not, BUT saying no will more likely then not make her sneak out or around with boys. I was told not to date at 13 and had a 16 year old boyfriend I snuck around with. My mom was given advice by a police officer to allow me to date but set ground rules early on. Such as "If you are dating you are only to see him on friday and saturdays so its not interfearing with homework and such"

Answer 12

I dont think you should tell her no. Maybe tell her you will agree on certain circumstances. Set guidelines and stick to them. Such as, her grades can not go down, no dates on school nights, set a curfew. 10pm at the latest. If you notice that her grades are falling, then maybe she should hold off. My parents let me date at 15, but i always made sure to maintain my grades, and i never broke curfew, just so that i could continue to date.

Answer 13

Depends what kind of younge teen she is.

If shes trustworthy then yes.

If shes made many mistakes lately

then tell her to wait a bit longer.

:)

Answer 14

be surprised that she asked you, let her have a boyfriend, but make sure that he's ok and that what they do doesn't interfere with her studies. make compromises

Answer 15

Yes, i think it would be okay. But you do need to set ground rules with her. My mom started letting me date at 15, but i had to work with her on gaining trust on being with my boyfriend. It is a good sign that she is coming to you in the first place about dating, because she could have done it secretly, it shows she wants to be open with you!

Tell her to go on double dates, that way, they are together, but not alone. Set a curfew, make sure she comes home everyday and does her homework, then let her do something if she wants with her boyfriend.

I was stoked when my mom let me. And it taught me to be more responsible and trustworthy.

Good Luck, ultimately it is up to you.

Answer 16

15 is too young.   Tell her to enjoy being a kid.

Answer 17

ok, im letting you know beforehand that im a 15 year old girl that isnt allowed to date.

i find that im alot more attracted and want to date since im not allowed.

ive even had several boyfriends behind my parents backs...

but the more my parent restricted me the more things got out of hand.

it affected my studies BECAUSE i was not allowed to.

i would stay out more often totalk to him, comprimising my HW

i would stay up luntil 4 in the morning and sneak textmessaging him or IMing him bacause i could not do it in daylight for fear of my parents

thus making my leeping schedual wacked and my grades were severly affected..:(

i just want you to know that teenage girls will be teenage girls... its better to let your dughter date and be guit-free about it. that way she wont have to sneak or hide any relationships and it will affenct her schedual alot less.

also, since you allow her to, she wll probably be alot more open with talking to you about boundaries and alot more reasonable since she will relize that you understand.

she will also prbably respect thse boundaries alot more

if you dont want her to stay out late , just tell her. of course, she may brake the rules once but its ok, because its all a learning process.

if you want her to be abstinent, tell her ( but personally i think that its not your descision after shes at least 17)

its better for her if she learns how to behave in a relationship and lead a healthy one, instead of her having to learn the hard way when she is an adult and most likely will have to deal with messy well...messes like divorce and maybe even some bigger problems.

i personally act alot more responsible and adult-like when i am given my right to choose who i am and what lifestyle i want to lead.

im not stupid enough to do drugs or have s*x

(because drugs are just stupid and my parents would kill me if i had s*x and they found out)

and most girls dont have the nerve to.

if my parents had allowed me to make my own decisions in this way, i know i would have had alot more of  stress-free and drama-free and healthier life so far.

since your making this decision out of love for your daughter, and best ishes for her and her future, i suggest you allow her.

Answer 18

I definitely think that she should be allowed to as we go older all we want is more freedom. the fact that she asked you is a good sign she wanting to be honest and open. if you don't she likely to do it any way but in secrecy

if you say its OK its give you the opportunity to to set some fair and realistict ground rules.