Should i look at my best friend differently?

Question

because just in a week without seeing her she started drinking and smoking pot? you have to understand i love this girl to death and we've been friends since the first day of kindergarten, i'm not going to give up on her. she texted me to call her to make plans for tonight but i can't call her it's really weird i get nervous. should i let her tell me tonight or confront her? [[[one friend i had (who's now going into high school) moved away, started hanging out with the wrong people, started smoking pot in 7th grade, and is now addicted to snorting cocaine, should i tell my friend that?]]] i heard it from another friend that my she started drinking and smoking this this week, i'm not supposed to know. lets just say my best friend might not be the smartest cookie in the jar, but shes kind and gullible and i love her. i don't want her going down the wrong path. by the way she's 14 and we're sophomores. thanks.

Answer 1

Don't throw away the friendship this early in the conflict, but if she continues, you will. Its for the best.

As far as now goes, call her, text her, make plans to meet up and talk.

Make sure you get the truth straight from her, instead of taking what someone else says as the truth. Tell her how destructive her behavior is, and what might happen if she continues [now would be a good time to tell the story]

If she continues on this path, you will have to seperate yourself from her. Its not fair to you to be caught up in the drug scene, because it will catch you.

Answer 2

You love her and you don;t want anything to happen to her

Sit her down on day and say i am worried about you and i understand that it is your life but i just don't wanna sit back and watch you destroy it.You can be alot of things and one you smoke pot your ruining you bran in cells.

and tell her that if she wants to quit than you will be ther for her through it all.

Also ask if anyhting in her life i bugging her maybe something is wrong or she is hurt or something  

Answer 3

I honestly dont think its that big of a deal, you may be worrying to much. Sure drinking is dangerous, and smoking weed can be dangerous too. But as long as she drinks and smokes responsibly and around the right people that she trusts, she'll be absolutely fine. I wouldn't recommend drinking or getting high at parties, thats a good way to get in all kinds of trouble.

Answer 4

If you heard this from another friend, it might not always be true. You can't always believe everything you hear.

I would call your best friend back and make plans for tonight. Don't be nervous. Have her come over and have a girls night in. This way, you can easily bring it up into a conversation. You love her, so show her that. Let her know that you'll always be there, and that you want to help her. Be completely honest with her.

At 14 years old she shouldn't even be having pot or drinks. Do you know where shes getting it from? Stealing from her parents? If so, talk to them too about their daugther. They might not know and I'm sure they'd like what's best for their daughter.

If your best friend doesn't want to talk about it, I'd go to a teacher or your mom. They have most likely been through something like this before and they will know what to do.

Good luck! <3

Answer 5

The same thing happened with my best friend when I was a freshman in high school. We were best friends since 1st grade and our friendship meant a lot to me, so I didn't let her actions end our relationship I just took a bit of a step back. We're now juniors in college and she stopped smoking and partying as hard as she was and is a pre-med major. She grew up and matured a lot and realized that smoking pot and drinking weren't solving her problems. We're still pretty close. I recommend asking her about what you heard in a non-judgmental manner. Just say that you're concerned but that you're not mad at her. Let her explain herself, it may or may not be true. If it is true, I'd guage your relationship and let things happen. Don't go to parties where she's doing these things if you don't feel comfortable, and don't let her pressure you into doing anything. Let me know if you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer or help you work through this.

Answer 6

I've had the same problem with my best friend, and I'm afraid to say because she made new, "cooler" friends that she didn't take a lot of notice to my advice. Maybe you can subtly drop hints that what she's doing isn't the best idea, or even try and distract her by doing things that don't involve drinking and drugs, making sure she's to busy to do those things. Or maybe even just tell her straight that she's being an idiot...apparently honesty is the best policy. I'm sure she will understand that you're only telling her this because you can so much about her, not because you're trying to spoil her fun. There's nothing amusing about drug abuse so maybe try some scare stories...someone has to get hurt when involved in drug use.

I wish you the best of luck :)

Answer 7

The fact that you are questioning this lets me know that you are very mature. My advice is to stay away from her. I KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND YOU PROBABLY THINK YOU CAN SAVE HER.The best thing you can do is be honest with her and tell her you don't want to hang with her if she's going to be doing those things. It is not your job to rescue her either. Sometimes you just need to go your own seperate ways and it sounds like you are going down the right path. GOOD FOR YOU!

Answer 8

yes she needs help tell her parents a teacher or any other adult. This could ruin her life and she needs to know that. If you dont want to tell your or her parents then go to the school safe cordinater, police officer or peermediation teacher if you have one of these and get her some help. She might be angry at you for telling on her but believe me she will thank you in the long run.  

Answer 9

GET HER HELP that what a true friend would do i hope the best for u and your bff