Should i marry my American beau???

Question

I have been in the US for over 5 yrs and my visa expired 2yrs ago. I have been with my Beau for over 2years. on and off, i really care for him but i am not in love YET... we are engaged and have planned to get married in sept. My thing is i have faith that in time my love will grow for him... We get along great and mesh well together. however i know he is in FACT in love with me, and i kind of feel bad bc his family tells him im only marrying for my citizenship, When in reality .. yea it crossed my mind but im not and i don't know how to show him that im here for him bc its the start up of a few arguments weve had lately. . SHould i still marry him??

Answer 1

I married a woman that I wasn't in love with, but she was in love with me. She stuck it out for years, believing that I would come to love her.

She was correct. We became the best of friends and lovers.

We were married for 25 years.

I lost her in an auto accident last year and have been devastated as if it happened yesterday.

You should only get married if you're in love. However, sometimes just the opposite happens. The choice should be between both of you. Good luck in that choice...

Answer 2

if you aren't in love with him or aren't sure about your feelings for him then DO NOT marry him.

Answer 3

Sounds like his family is right.

Answer 4

i could never imagine marrying someone i'm not in love with. i'm not sure where you're from, but i know in europe, it's common to date for over 10 years before getting married. the culture difference could cause drama (his family thinking you're marrying for citizenship). it's hard for me to answer this, as i am american. do what's in your heart. only you can answer this. good luck

Answer 5

You should ONLY marry for LOVE , not anything else !

Answer 6

If you're not marrying him for citizenship, and you're not in love, then why the h**l are you marrying him? You are sure you will grow to love him eventually, why hasn't this happened in 2 years? How can you be certain it will happen in the next 2 years? What if it doesn't? Why not wait until it happens before marrying?

Don't kid yourself, his citizenship makes him more appealing.

Answer 7

If you love him, yes!  If you don't love him, please for both of your sakes let him go.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment and something that should not be taken lightly.  Getting along well does not automatically mean that the two of you should be engaged, although this is important an any relationship.  

Maybe you should be friends and find another you truly love.  

Someone wise told me the following:

Don't marry the one you can live with,

Marry the one you can't live without!

Live and love life to the fullest!

Answer 8

If you're not in love with him YET, there is a chance you will meet someone you will fall in love, and if this happens after you get married, all its gonna do is to reinforce what his family thought, that you got married to him for the citizenship.

Answer 9

love does grow. If you feel you can be with him for the rest of your life its ok. You may waste your precious time picking up stones when you've lost a diamond. If you close your eyes for too long next time you open them he'll be gone!

Answer 10

If love hasn't happened yet, it won't ever happen! Love comes at you in an instant!!! Don't marry him if you're not in love, it's not fair to either of you. Not fair for him because he is already in love with you and you aren't...and not fair for you because you're giving up on your search for love.

Answer 11

Why are you marrying him if you aren't in love with him. you can't marry someone in hopes to falling in love with him later. I think his family has good reason to doubt you.

Answer 12

NO! You only marry for love, not because you think you'll fall in love with him. What happens if one day you find that person that melts your heart you can't live without him, you'll die if you never see him again? And your married to someone you think you'll fall in love with. Now not only do you hurt the person you finally find and love , you hurt yourself and the man your married to.Don't do it.  

Answer 13

If you are not in love with him, and even his family can tell that you aren't, then no, you should not marry him.  A marriage is difficult enough when all of the pieces are in place and everyone is in love and thinks that everything is going to be perfect.  It will be even more difficult if you go into it with such an important piece missing.  You deserve to have the whole thing:  someone that sweeps you off your feet, someone you can't live without and gives you butterflies in your stomach.  Even if it means some hardship right now, believe me, when you find that person that does it all for you, it is SO worth it.

Answer 14

No, because you do not love him.  

Don't hurt him for your own selfish reasons  (i.e. citizenship)

Answer 15

stay with him, she what the problems are, be honest that you want to be with him, tell him you dont know how intense you feel about him yet. stay engaged for awile and see if you eventually do fall in love. get married then

Answer 16

you should only marry for love!