Should i meet my real mum?

Question

I was adopted at birth, but have found my real mum's address on the internet. Should i just knock on the door? I have thought about writing a letter but what if she doesn't answer?

Answer 1

To protect yourself from getting your feelings hurt, I think that u should write first or call , she may not want u to know her. It all depends on the circumstances surrou nding why u were adopted at all. You know they have this new tv program called the Locater, some of the mothers are happy their child found them and some don't want to be reminded of the past and what they did. Are u ready for the possible good or the possible rejection? Have u asked your adopted mother does she know anything about your birth mother?

Answer 2

Its your real mom...I think you could do either. Do what you are  comfortable with and good luck!

Answer 3

You should meet her .... but I think it would be better to send her a letter first. While it's likely that she really does want to meet you, just arriving at the door might be a bit too much. Please consider too that she might have another family that doesn't know anything about you. You need to go carefully first.

If she doesn't answer immediately, give her time. You don't say the circumstances of your birth, and it may be that you don't know the circumstances of your conception either. Having you was already a big deal, giving you up was also a big deal, so you coming back into her life will most certainly be a big deal.

If she doesn't answer at all .... I would worry about that only if it happens.  

Answer 4

It depends if you feel ready for this & are open to many different equations of what might happen if you do! She might welcome you with open arms or want nothing to do with you. But i think either way you have a right to know but just make sure your ready!

Answer 5

thats a really good idea. you should write her a letter.

if seh replies that means she would want to meet you. and if she doesnt then she probably doesnt. but i bet she will.

Answer 6

I wouldn't just show up on her doorstep, you might freak her out. Can you call her at home or work and let her decide if and when to see you. If she won't you might try to find out if she know of any inherited medical problems in the family  You didn't mention your father have you found him too?

Answer 7

Wow..this is a big deal, you can't just show up at the door, it might not be the right address and plus you could leave very distraught and disappointed. I would say visit the place with a family member, oon't go alone. Knock and ask their names and who lives there, if everything matches, say who you are and ask for a chat. It could all get fairly emotional and resentful..You must have endless questions and a thousand more tears to cry..please, protect your heart, it's so delicate. x x x x x x best of luck x x x x x x x x  

Answer 8

beeen through all this   The answer is YES  

Answer 9

You don't say how old you are, but please don't surprise her. She has been wondering about you your whole life, and needs time to get used to the idea of seeing you. The decision to give you up was not easy. She let someone else adopt you because she wanted you to have a better life then what she could provide. It doesn't have to do with not wanting you or throwing you away, but she agonized over this and did what was best for you. What a hard, heart wrenching thing to have to do and go through. Talk to your adopted mom about the adoption. There may be rules to follow, a letter she wrote to you or somethings she has put in place as rules to see her. Let your adopted mom and dad know that you don't love them any less, but are curious to see/know this other women. They will understand and have been expecting it, I'm sure. Good luck

Answer 10

i think you should ask a woman who adopted you why your real mum left you. And you must be sure that is your real mum. And if you gonna meet her maybe ask for help your mother who adopted you, if she is understanding she will help you. Make small steps. Nothing in the same time :)

good luck !!!

Answer 11

I'm adopted too. you cant just knock on the door, what if she doesn't want to know you, the rejection will bite big time and if you knock on the door you are very stuck having contact, be cautious, she may be a person you don't want to know.Write a few letters first, meet at a public place, don't give out your address just yet.I hope it all turns out well for you.

I also have an address.

Answer 12

I think you need to think long and hard about it, could you deal with it if she rejected you ? If you do decide to contact her I think you should write a letter first to break the ice

Answer 13

Try calling her. and if you dont write a letter and if she doesnt answer after a week try going over there! it mite be really fun!

Answer 14

ok, meet face to face..good luck XDXDXD

Answer 15

If you where adopted then you already have a mum who loves you, i wouldnt contact her, she might not even be happy to see you at her door and may have another family. Let it lie and get on with life.

Answer 16

It's a tad different in my case, but my mother and father divorced when I was two years old.  I'm now 31 and at the ripe age of 28, I decided to write to my father in hopes of being able to establish something with him.  I knew things would be a little awkward, and I didn't really know if he'd want anything to do with me.  (I never once seem him or heard from him in any way from the time of the divorce, on.)

I did it and I'm so glad I did.  I wouldn't change it for the world.

Since you were adopted, I would suggest a letter first.  Should you want to be reached, write a number or return address.  (I included my phone number and he called me as soon as he read my letter.)

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.  It's such an emotional roller coaster for those first few days.  Whatever happens, though, you'll feel better inside that you made an attempt!

I hope it goes as you wish!

Answer 17

I wouldn't just pop up on her. I would try to contact her first by mail and if she doesn't respond then you know the truth. Why are you so anxious to meet a woman that gave you up for adoption? If she wanted to meet you she would find you. Just because women have babies doesn't make them a mother. Don't be disappointed with her if she doesnt rrespond.

Answer 18

this happened kinda on secret life of an american teenager.. i think you should write her a letter and just say, i would like to know why you decided to give me up and just kinda that thing. did you just didnt want me or you couldnt .. yah good luck!

Answer 19

make sure it really is her adress, cuz the internet can lie! then u can write a letter, but u really want to just go to her because she might just ignore the letter unless u put in a photo. go for it! :D

Answer 20

I would discuss this with your parents. After all, they are your parents and you certainly don't want them to think that they are being dumped because you have found your birth mother. While this sounds exciting (and sometimes is) most time you will find that you were born because of a rape or she is not anything like you expected. She may not be happy you found her and she may have a life where she is married with children and does not want anyone to ever know about you. I think a letter is nice. Then she can answer or not. Don't pursue it if she doesn't answer the letter right away. Try again in 6 months in case someone else took your letter and didn't give it to her. I don't want your parents hurt and I don't want you hurt. Talk to your parents about your desire to meet your birth mother. See what they say.

Answer 21

well tell her your story about the adoption then

and just meet face to face

Answer 22

I would also knock on the door, be prepared for her reaction tho. Who knows she might be thinking about you 24/7 or she might have a new family and new kids and will not be ready to meet you. Good luck tho! I hope everythink goes well tho!!

Answer 23

write a letter and if she doesn't respond then you can always just go and knock on her door. I mean if you just went up there she might be a little surprised.