Should i move back or stay?

Question

ok, i moved from louisiana to texas about 2 years ago, with my husband and son. i love living in texas, i love the area, the schools, everything. except that i don't have anyone here. i have not made any friends, and i don't have any family here. we are thinking about moving back, but we can't make up our minds. we will be looking at a pay cut, bad public schools. but at least there i have friends and family. i want to put my kids first, but i am a stay at home mom, and i don't know how much more of this i can take. i have tried making friends, but the ones i have made ended up being fake friends, and i would rather not have any then to have some that are fake, so i don't associate with them anymore. i just need personal opinions on this. what would you do?

Answer 1

Don't move back, you have to move on with your life. Louisiana has nothing to offer but friends and family. Just try to find some friends where you live.  

Answer 2

I am in MOMS Club, which is an international organization for stay at home moms. Many areas have a local chapter you could join. We have playgroups, MOMS Night Out(w/o the kids), and other activities. Check out www.momsclub.org to see if there is a chapter near you. Even if your area doesn't have a MOMS club, most places have groups of stay at home moms that get together. Try to do some research on the internet or local newspapers. Also, I do not know if you are a person of faith, but churches are great ways to meet new people also. You could try striking up conversations w/ moms you see at the playground. You might be surprised to find out how many women are going through the same thing that you are dealing with. I understand what you are going through. My husband is military, so I have moved twice in 4 years. Our families live about 900+ miles away. I found it hard to make friends at our last duty station in WY, but we got stationed in Texas last year and I have found the people here to be very friendly. Just give it a chance!

Answer 3

I am in a similar situation as well... I moved from WI to FL to live with my boyfriend. I've been here a little over a year and have not made any friends...which I must say is the hardest part. Plus my family gets on my case about not having any girlfriends or things to do. So I joined my local YMCA which gives me my alone time and meet some people in classes. I haven't had too much success but it does help. I just go back and think about all of the bad things I left in WI and that I haven't made many friends yet because this is practically a fresh start and a new life...it will be better in the long run..just give it time. Good luck!

Answer 4

I am in a very similar situation..except I moved from Oregon to Massachusetts (big move for work)

The money is here..but the friends and family are there.

I wrestle with the thought of moving back all the time..but ultimately I decided that if I really want my later years and my children (if I ever have any) to have a happy future...I will just have to make Mass. work.

Something I find that helps...I bought a webcam and often talk to friends and family via it.  (Ha..makes the first Christmas easy..everyone got a camera :P)

About once a year I look for the best ticket prices and fly my bestest friend out to stay with me a few weeks which really takes the edge off my homesickness.

I've been in Mass. about 4 years now...and while I will admit if you had asked me in the first two years I would have sobbed like a little kid and pleaded to go home...but now....It's kinda grown on me...and it gets easier everyday to get out of the house and find something fun to do :)

Hope that helps.

Answer 5

Find a group in the community to join.........stay at home doesn't mean you're forced to never leave.

What do you like to do?  You could volunteer at your kids school,  take some sort of a class, get involved at a church..........take a job at a coffee shop........be someplace where you'll meet people.

Luck

Answer 6

I think that you really have to do whats best for the children and the family. Because if you do move your child will end up in bad neighborhood and school. But then again you can live in a not so good place. But you make it work for you. Just because you live in a bad place doesn't mean that everything will turn sour. So I think its a decision that you have to talk to with your husband.  

Answer 7

Where do you live at in Texas? I live in Texas too, and have joined mommy meet-ups to try and make friends, and the woman are always so fake, I am tired of not having any friends either. I have managed to make 2 good friends in the 4 years I have lived here. One of my friends also wants to move back to her home state, because all of her friends and family are there, but I would be so sad to see her go.

Let me know where you live in Texas, maybe we are close to each other and could hang out. How old is your son?

:( I just looked it up and your 2 hours away from where I am. If we lived closer I would have hung out.

Answer 8

Doesn't your husband have married friends from work to meet and hang out with? You can always get into community activities to meet people.  

Answer 9

Bad schools?

All schools are bad to a varying degree.

Have you thought about homeschooling, since you are planning to be home anyway?

You would have to check online for Louisiana's laws about it:

http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Louis...

My personal opinion.  Move to where you have family, and your kids will have grandparents/aunts/cousins, whatever, and where you will have friends.

Get into a good church, find out about the homeschooling groups (it is getting more and more popular to homeschool) and live on less and be happier.

If you already don't know how much more of this you can take, then you really already know what you should do.

Also, give yourself a break for any emotional feelings you are having.  You just recently had a baby, so you have that going on, too.  :)