Should i move in with my dad?

Question

my dad wants me to move in whit him and i want to to, but my mom says that if i do i cant see my mom side of the family anymore. which includes my little brother, my older sister, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all of them. my dad lives in a different town then the one i live in now and he says that i he would drive me to the school that i go to now so i wont have to change. and he says that he would drive me back to the town i live in now to see my friends and stuff. he also is promising me a new cell phone, a car (when i turn 16 which is in a couple months) so he is pretty much bribing me to move in with him. me and my mom fight a lot. she doesn't understand me. she doesn't trust me at all. she says that i need medication but wont give me any cause she says that i would sell them. she thinks i do all this stuff like drugs and smoke and stuff when i don't. my dad acutely trust me. my mom also always puts my dad down saying hes not a good dad, he just wants to use you for the money from child support. my mom made me cute myself once and stop eating cause she said i was fat. when i weigh 102lbs and I'm 15 which is under weight. i used to be 92lbs but my dad got be back to being healthy. she also says the music i listen to is c**p and it gets me into drugs when there is nothing wrong with it.

so what should i do.

live with my dad in a happy home but a way from my friendsand not being able to see my moms side of the family?

or live with my mom being close to my friends and family but also spending a lot of time crying myself to sleep?

please help

Answer 1

There are several stories happening all at once here.

Your mom sounds like a choice control freak... says you need drugs and at the same time won't let you have them, withholds food, and really stresses you out... and tries to manipulate you saying that you won't be able to visit your family if you move in with your dad... that is sick-o! It sounds like she doesn't want to lose the child support payments!

Start by talking to your relatives and collecting their e-mail addresses and phone numbers so your mom can't be the gatekeeper.

The fact that your dad was able to positively influence your health says a lot. You don't need the bribes to move into a healthier situation. You need the positive influence of a good role model.

Answer 2

Sweetie, no child deserves to be in either of these situations. Talk to your mom about the threats and how it hurts you. Tell her that you love her but you would feel more comfortable staying with your dad on a trial basis but don't want to lose touch with her and the family. Remind her that you will call everyday and that you hope that she will respect your feelings on the issue. Have you ever told her how her downgrading your father makes you feel? Do you respond with hurtful words when she says things? Mothers never want to feel that their children don't need or want them so remember this when you talk to her. The other point that I am going to make is your father offering so much for you to choose him. Are you choosing to live with him because you will be emotionally or physically happier? A car and/or cell phone will not change anything honey it will only cause more heartbreak if you do not ALWAYS get what you want from him. Just think about the situation before you choose and talk to your mother about your feelings in a respectful and loving way and not with a vengence.  

Answer 3

None of us can really tell you what to do, you need to think about which option would make you the most happy.

I would also suggest you talk to a school counselor or therapist, you're not crazy, but you need to tell someone about this.

You could also talk to your Mom calmly, maybe you could compromise.