Should i pay for my kid's lunch if the babysitter takes him out to eat?

Question

I have a new babysitter I started using today - her mom is my co-worker. She, the co-worker, asked me to ask the babysitter how much she spent on lunch because they went out to eat. (Hinting that I should pay her extra.) So, now I have to pay the babysitter for the day, plus lunch? Should she (the sitter) have asked me if that was okay? I mean, I don't even have enough cash on me to pay more than what I was planning. Should I just pay her and ask her to run her plans by me next time. I mean, am I over-reacting or what?

Answer 1

I would tell the sitter that is very nice of her to want to take the kids out, but that you will not be able to pay extra. If it is your idea, than you pay. What I did was say 'the kids want to go to the store today for icecream, here is some money'. But if the sitter wants to take them someplace and asks me I say 'sure, that is nice of you' but I don't pay. You should not have to budget for the babysitters ideas of activities.

I would be bothered by the co-worker asking you! That is why I don't mix babysitters and co-workers. I would just be really up front about it and say 'You know they other day when you asked about the cost of lunch.. I felt that you were hinting that I should pay more money to your daughter. I only pay my babysitters their wage or for places that I ask them to take the kids. I don't budget for extra's that the babysitter does volunatarily'.

You only feel strongly because you did not speak your mind and you felt used and obligated and obviously there was some talking about you behind your back on this one. Plus your co-worker is siding with the sitter and hinting. The only way to get rid of being so upset, is to just speak your mind and state your case. Than they will know where you stand for next time. Don't pay the money and explain why and this will not happen again. Plus your co-worker will know that you don't take 'hints' and that you will call her on it.

Answer 2

Not unless you asked her to do this, and if she pulls a stunt like that again I would fire her.

It's like me babysitting the little girl across the street and taking her clothes shopping without asking the mother and then asking the mother for the 100 dollars I spent on her!! Ridiculous!

Answer 3

Well, this time, reimburse her to save yourself from the drama, but next time, if they go out to eat without your permission, it's not extra cash in her pocket (providing of course that you had acceptable lunch materials at home).

Answer 4

I wouldn't pay for the baby sitters meal, but I would say "Hey, next time let me know ya'll are going out to eat so I can give you some money for (your kids) meal. I wouldn't give any more than like ten dollars.

Answer 5

You should pay for your child's lunch.

Why wouldn't you?

But yes, it would have been a better idea if she would have asked you if it was okay if she could have taken your kid out to eat. But you should def. pay her back on what she spent on your child. Don't pay for her lunch as well though, that isn't expected.

Answer 6

I don`t think so i mean well yeah ask her to run her plans buy you first that could be a huge problem if she was gone with your kids an you didn`t know about it and ask her if she want more or she want to do it or tell her don`t bring them out to eat because it could be use aganist you in the future if anything happens just prepare meals for them before you leave to go to work and it should be find

Answer 7

I would do it this one time, but tell her that if she is going to take them out to lunch to at least run her plan by you a few days in advance so you can scrounge up the money, or if you can't afford it simply say no.

Answer 8

I agree with the others, and think she not only should have asked about lunch...but as the parent of a 4 year old, I would actually be a bit peeved that she didnt ask my permission first to even take him out in a vehicle anywhere.     I know that might seem paranoid, but I want to know where my child is at all times.  

Answer 9

Did she take your child out to eat just for the sake of it? Overall, I don't think you should pay unless there was absolutely NO food in your house, but I doubt that was the case. I think that she should have ran it by you if she wanted to take your child out to eat.

In my opinion, that's a very odd thing to do to take a child out to lunch without informing the parents. If I wanted to do that, then I'd pay. Just give her cash for now (to be cordial and to not p**s off your co-worker) and just tell her, "Hey, I can't afford for you to take my son out to eat and instead I'll pack a lunch." That should clear things up.

On a side-note: Don't let the sitter take your son out to eat all the time then he's gonna think that's the norm and not want to eat at home.

Answer 10

Is the girl babysitting your child at your house?  If you left food for lunch for the two of them, then NO you do not pay for their lunch if she took your child out.

If she is taking care of your child elsewhere, pack your child a lunch and send it with him.

To make sure that there is no misunderstanding in the future, you need to mention it to the girl that you will not be paying for a lunch bought by her for your child.

If the girl is old enough to baby sit, then she is old enough to make macaroni and cheese, or a sandwich, or salad or cheese and crackers for herself and your child.

There is nothing wrong with setting out guidelines at the beginning - you are her employer.

For her to expect more money is like me having a job and then expecting my boss to pay me more money that we agreed, just because I spent money on lunch!

You could, this once, give her the money she spent on your child's lunch, but don't make a habit of it.

Answer 11

Unless this was a outing sanctioned by you then the babysitter is responsible for the price of the child's lunch. Honestly a sitter should not be taking your children on any outing(lunch or otherwise) without running a schedule by you first.

I would not pay more then originally agreed upon and for your co-worker to stick her nose in was completely inappropriate.  

Answer 12

if she offered to take them out, she should pay because she's taking responsibility. she didn't HAVE to. and besides, it's not like you told her.

Answer 13

yes u shud that know as expenses she shud tell u so she aint spending too much this is normal u cant expect her to pay her ur kids lunch  

Answer 14

You should always pay for your child's lunch.  What led you to think otherwise?

Answer 15

No you aren't over-reacting and no, I wouldn't pay for my child's lunch. Don't fall into this trap!

When kids go to daycare and the provider wants extra money for field trips or dining out, they send a note home asking for signed permission AND for extra funds. If you don't respond, the child doesn't go.

Tell the babysitter that you've provided food, and if she wants to ask your permission BEFORE taking your child out for activities that will cost you in the future, she needs to ask at least 1-2 weeks in advance for these weekly/monthly/quarterly jaunts.

Answer 16

I think that the babysitter should've asked you if it was ok. If she was planning to go out for lunch she should've gave you a warning or something. You should pay her back and then tell her what you expect next time. I would react the same way that you are so no you're not over-reacting :)

Answer 17

I would want to know if my babysitter took my kids anywhere. I can't imagine letting a babysitter take my kids out. Not something I would be comfortable with.

This is why you need to write down everything with the sitter before they take care of your children. It is up to you to be clear about what can and can not be done when a sitter is with your child

Did you leave a lunch for your child to eat that day? If you did then I wouldn't pay for the lunch.

Answer 18

i would tell her first before you give her the money, that next time she needs to let you know beforehand if you will need to help with an "out to eat" excursion. you have bought food in the house, and that is what you have intended for the kids to eat. just to keep things on an even keel, i would go ahead and pay the kids portion this time. but, i would make it clear to her that you will not pay again, unless you have agreed to help with the expense beforehand. that is like her going to the store and buying your kids clothes, when you didn't ask her too, then asking for the money. i don't think so. it sounds like her mother found out after the fact and decided to get her daughters money back because she didn't ask first.  you just don't do that. the only thing that would make a difference is if you had no food for her at the house, which i am sure that isn't the case. when i used to babysit, if i wanted to get out of the house and had money for something like that, i would pay and not expect to be paid back. she made the decision, not you. i would not let her spen your money again, because that is what she did. i would pay this time though, only becuase she probably didn't see it that way, her mom is the one who did.

Answer 19

Well you should definitely offer it but if she absolutely refuses it you say "Are you sure?" If she says that she is sure just keep the money. Either way you have an excellent babysitter I'm sure!

Answer 20

yes definitely tell her next time not to take your child anywhere without your approval. if there was no food in your house to eat, you owe her the money. if  she was sitting as a favor for you and already had plans to eat out and she got stuck taking your child along, you owe her. if your child had her take him out to eat, you owe her but can tell her next time not to listen. if none of these things occurred just tell her how nice of a gesture it was to take your child out to eat and thank her that he had a good time, and then just pay her what you planned.

i wouldn't like the coworker bring it up either.

the person above me has a good answer.

Answer 21

I dont think you should pay for their lunch.

The babysitter should pay since it was her choice & it sounds to me that it was her treat to you child.

But do tell her that she should tell you in about any future pans ect. But keep in mind that she probably was trying to be nice but it ended up not be so good since you dont have the extra money right now. And tell her that she and your child can cook food at you house and you are both welcomed to eat that. Tell them nicey but be tell them whats on your mind. They will understand if not maybe you should get a different sitter.

But do not pay for the lunch, your paying her to babysit so she has money to pay.

Im sorry, im actually really upset about this.

I would be very irritated if this happened to me. & then your co worker told you to ask her daughter.

Thats horrible.

Dont ask her if you should pay her just askl her to tell you whats going on & that it is fine to call you.

Im only 18 & dont have children so i may not be the best to answer this question but i hope i helped!

Good Luck!!

Answer 22

Pay her this time, and just tell her to run it by you first.  Not everybody is made of money and eating out all the time is expensive.  I don't think you're over reacting.

Answer 23

She should have asked you 1st, since she did it on her own you are not under any obligation to pay. Pay her this time to keep the peace, but make it clear that she needs to make arrangements BEFORE she does it again..

Answer 24

I don't think you should have to pay if the babysitter took your son out to eat unless you asked her to. Which it doesn't seem like you did. If she wanted to be paid for it, she should have ran it by you first instead of just doing it and then expecting you to pay.

Answer 25

Pay her this time, tell her what you expect and I would be more worried she took your children out of the house in a vehicle without telling you first.

If she asked you if you wanted her to take them to lunch the you must pay.

If you want her to take them to lunch again, give her a set amount of money that way you don't end up paying for more than you would have normally bought or could afford that month. Ask for recipts and the extra cash back as well unless shes driving any extra could go to gas.  

Answer 26

Don't pay her.

Say: " Oh, i wasn't expecting you to take them out for lunch. I had their lunch in the fridge for them, didn't you see it ? I made it all last night, it took me hours. How much did you say it cost you again ? I'm sorry, i don't think I've got that much money on me, i wasn't expecting you to take them out too lunch. Perhaps you could run things by me next time "

Answer 27

The only reason you should have to pay is if she asked if she could take your child out for lunch and that should only cover your child, not her. She should have asked you first and not expected you to pay for both your child and her. Ask her to supply her own lunch from now on. You should not be expected to pay her back. I never once expected the people I babysat for to supply food for me. I always brought my own if I knew I was going to be their for a long time. She should do the same.

Answer 28

When it comes to child care, meals are almost always included in the daily cost. If the meals are extra, that should be stated up front so you can decide if you want to follow through with the arrangement. In my opinion, if the sitter decided to take your son out for lunch, then it's on her dime and not yours. If the sitter had previous plans to eat out, she should have informed you of such and given you the option of allowing your child to go along or informing you that she needed some extra to pay for his meal.

In all the years that I was in child care, the cost of lunch and snacks was included in my pricing. On the rare occasion that I took them out to lunch, it was my treat and I didn't expect the mothers to pay extra. And if I took them out because I was too tired/lazy/hot to cook, then it definitely was my choice and my responsibility to pay - not theirs. However, if the parent asked me to take the children out for burgers & fries, or for ice cream or something special, they provided the funds to cover their children's meals.

Perhaps you could offer a reasonable amount this time but inform the sitter that in the future you would like to know before hand that lunch out is in the plans for the day. After all, it is your child and you should have final say in where, when and how much to spend when he eats out.