Should i put my Second Child up for adoption? Help me please! I need to know!?

Question

Hey Just because i'm pregnant with my second child doesn't mean i'm a w***e does it? But it could be the other thing tho.......I'm only 14 years old! I'm pregnant with my second! Sorry But that doesn't mean i'm a w***e! It's with the same guy! God! So will people leave me alone! My first is 1 year old and i'm 8 months pregnant! Please be nice and answer this Question...Should i put my second child up for adoption? Please help me!

Answer 1

Don't you have anything better to do with your time than making up stories?  2 weeks ago you were wanting to know how to get some boy to talk to you again, a month ago you were asking out an 18 year old ( and he said yes), an hour ago you became 9 months pregnant  with your 2 nd to be born aug 12 so that baby would be 10 months when born, and that that was in response to someone wanting to adopt.   8 months you were asking for advice for your friend Ashely that had a daugher named Haven, yet on another post your 1 year old is named Haven. Get another hobbie besides trolling on the internet.

Answer 2

Magicpointeshoes gave you great advice. It takes everyone into consideration. Adoption can be wonderful but there is always loss that goes along with it. Your 1 yr old will loose a sibling, as will the baby, and you will forever wonder if you made the right decision....and you may anyway. The father would have to relinquish his rights to the child as well.

Without knowing more about your situation, I don't know what your support and options are but you need to have counseling that is impartial to either choice.

Open adoption is sometimes less traumatic as you do get reports if the Aparents stick to the agreement...and most do. If you have a closed adoption, you may never know. Open adoption agreements are invalid some places so the aparents don't have to follow it. Regardless of the option, you will need grief counseling if you relinquish.

This is a major, life altering decision for many concerned. Don't decide in haste or without much discussion.

And, yes, birth control...check out Planned Parenthood, in most states you don't need parental consent.

Answer 3

My opinion is that it's in the best interest of the child to be put with a married couple who can afford a baby, and also are emotionally ready for one. Please stop having s*x. No 14 year old should be having s*x at all.

Answer 4

Sweetie, get your tubes tied.  Yes, you are a w***e and your mother should be thrown in jail.  Keep the kid and go on welfare with the other half of society.  Same guy huh?  Gross.  He should be in jail too.

Answer 5

Yes, you definatly can't take care of it, heck I am 13, why did you have s*x at 14?, just wait 4 more years before it happens again. Don't have s*x.If you really wanna know ask Jesus.

Answer 6

Where is your first child?  I think you are VERY young to be a mother you are still in school I hope and you are not old enough for a job so I would probally say yes or see if your parents can help you.  It is a BIG decision and really only you can make it.  Also try birth control

Answer 7

Okay sweetie, I do think that your babies deserve a better life than a 14 year old can give.  I know that you will love your baby, but love alone itsn't going to raise the little one.  If you want my opinion, I would say yes, adoption is the best idea.

I have a cousin who had a baby when he was 14, his girlfriend was as well.  That baby is now 5 years old, and the only thing the two of them actually agree on is that they should have put her up for adoption, while they love her, she would have had a much better first 5 years if they would have let a family who was more stable and prepared to raise their child.  

Good luck!

Answer 8

h**l keep cranking them out. I love the thought that I, along with the rest of the tax paying public, can help take care of them.

It's Welfare!...............Hooooray Welfare!

Answer 9

if u cant take care of it and your families cant help u then yes....i will keep it 4 u....:)

Answer 10

Yes, you make it obvious that you are unable to make adult decisions.  It is also obvious that the adults in your life are not able to assist you in protecting yourself.  Give this child, if not both up for adoption.  They desirve to be raised by adults.  Adults who make decisions in their best interest.  

You are not a w***e. You are a teenager who has been allowed to make very poor decisions.  Do better for your children.

Answer 11

I think adoption would be the best for the unborn child and  the one you already have.  The responsible thing would be to  give these children a chance to grow up in a loving home with two parents and all the opportunities in life they deserve.  You are very young and have a long life ahead of you. Check out the LDS website on adoption.  There are nice people there who can help you through it and the services are all free, even counseling.  They don't judge you and they listen. email me if you want..

Answer 12

You need to do what is right for you and what is right for your child and it's future. You are not a w***e, you simply made a choice and you are pregnant. There are many families that would love to adopt you child. Open adoption is very common now. Open adoption means you are able to pick your child's adoptive parents, and choose the amount of contact you have with the family after the adoption. My husband and I are one of the many couples who can't have children of our own and we are hoping to adopt. If you want to know more about us, please visit our website: http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birt...

You are being very responsible by looking at all of the options for your unborn child. You will be in my thoughts and prayers:)

Answer 13

My mom was a dumbass like you and gave me up for adoption and now when i see someone with their real parents, i get very jealous, and think about what my mom looks like,  it's hard, you are a careless person to get rid of a child, if you don't have the money then get help, but never give up your children. you be the judge, don't ask people from a yahoo website.  this hurts!

Answer 14

Normally I wouldn't advise someone whether they should choose adoption for their child or not, because it's such a personal decision. However, I think in this case, yes adoption would be the best choice for your baby.

     Caring for a newborn and 1 year old can be very challenging even for a much older and experienced married couple. i think you need to think about how this will effect not only your unborn child, but also the child you are already raising.    

       Unfortunetly, becoming a mother at such a young age makes you have to grow up very fast. You need to make a grown up decision right now and do what's best for both children.

   Either way, please get counseling as soon as possible. I wish you luck in this difficult situation.

Answer 15

Don't be so hard on yourself.  You probably didn't mean for this to happen to you, it just did.  I'm sure it is really hard for someone your age to raise 1 child, let alone 2.  If I were in your situation, I would strongly consider letting this next baby go to a family who is able to care for this child and give him/her a better start in life.  I'm not saying you are not a good mother, it's just that it would save you from the struggle of having to look after two young children, when you have yourself to think about as well.  Do you have much family support?  This is another thing to consider, because without anyone to help you, it is probably not going to be very easy at all.  There are many couples out there who are desperate for a baby, and this would be a way for you to help someone else in need.  Think about it.  I'm sure you will make the right decision.

Answer 16

I would probably seriously consider it if I were you. There are MANY good couples out there who long to have a beautiful baby and are ready to be wholly committed parents. As difficult of a decision as this will be, there are great benefits for you, the baby and the new parents if this is the route you take.

Where is the first child... if you aren't really ready to be parents, you probably aren't ready to be sleeping with each other...

Answer 17

Yes, you should.

If you need a number to talk with a good Adoption Counselor, click my name and then email me.

Answer 18

Sweet heart...the best thing is to give them both up and finish school. I was 15 when I had my first child and it wasn't easy. I didn't know that I had options. Believe me,if I had known, things for me would have been different. I am willing to take both of them if needed.

Answer 19

I beleive you should offer this child a life you can not at your age offer. I was in similar situation myself. I kept my first child. It was difficult and I think you need to work on giving your 1 year old a stable and financilally secure home. I am presently wanting to adopt and am government approved. If you chose adoption or want more info. on my family please call 613 796 9279. After all if you choose to give your baby up for adoption, Who better to explain to the child that they were loved so much that their mother wanted them to have the best life possible.

Answer 20

i dont think you are a w***e. It is not other peoples right to judge us or the decision we make in our life. As for answering your question i dont think anyone can tell you what to do. Do you want the baby? If not then adoption is a posibility, it will give somone who doesnt have children the chance to have one. If you want to keep the baby then keep it. There are suport groups everywhere now for which ever decision you make. Dont be forced into making a decision you will regret later. You must also take into consideration the childs father and what he wants. Whatever you decide , all the best!

Answer 21

Well I am 25, married for almost 5 years now, we have a four year old daughter and I am currently pregnant with my second child as well (24 weeks almost).  I am terrified myself right now with the responsibility that another child is going to add to our lives.  I am scheduled to have a C-section immediatlely after birth and that is quite a nice thought for me. I couldnt imagine being pregnant at 14, let alone already being a mother. Do you live with your parents and they raise your first child? I notice that a lot of younger kids dont mind having kids because they arent taking the responsibility of raising them. I'd have 20 if I had to if I didnt have to take care of them, but as a mother and a woman, I have too much pride to to hand off that responsibility. What about school? College? A career?  If you give this child up for adoption you will always regret it in a few years when you're pregnant again and decide to keep it this time. you can only make the decision, but you should seriously consider a tubal afterwards.  2 kids is more than enough for anybody and that will keep you on your toes for the rest of your life.  I have to stay at home because the price of childcare is insane and my husband makes too much money for us to get any assistance.  Im sure its different for you, but kids are a lot of work, time, money, headaches, etc.  Its like if you dont want to go to jail dont break the law.  Planned parenthood offers practically free services, exams, birth control, and you can buy condoms extremely cheap. I became sexually active at 16 and they were my first stop. I took birth control religiously and made my boyfriend wear protection and we were together for four years without any problems.  Just make sure you take the pill the same time everyday. But the best would be to get an IUD. My friend never had kids but they gave her one at 19 so you might get lucky. If none of these options are available than dont have intercourse. there are a lot of other ways to have 'fun' without risking these complications.

Answer 22

I never understand why people advise adoption because you are young.  My opinion is NO YOU SHOULDN'T PUT YOUR CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION.

Yes you are young and already have a child but it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to raise your child whether or not you are 14.

Adoption is an easy way out for you.  You need to be an adult and not look for excuses.

Your children  need you no matter how old you are.

Answer 23

well do what you think will be best for you

Answer 24

We are similar in a way Im 25 years old and I am 8 months pregnant with my second child, my first is 2 years old.  I was going to give my child up for adoption and I started the paperwork at about 6 to 7 months pregnant. I just decided in this last month that I dont want to go through with adoption I was scared I would spend the rest of my life wondering what if. It has been extremely hard raising my son but I have made it work and so have you obviously.  At least its the same guy and seems like he is around, I have two different dads and neither are around. I went through and adoption agency Lifetime Adoption out of California with a lady named Veronica they were really helpful and they got everything taken care of quickly. I got to pick a family and speak to them. I regret that they were ready for a baby and I decided not to go through with it. You have to do whats right for you and you have to think about all aspects. People are going to talk about you no matter what you do so just ignore the negative and focus on the positive.

Answer 25

Well what does your heart tell you to do?

Your gut instinct will lead you to the right decision , there are alot of good families who cannot have children even some of the best husband and wife situations give there children up for adoption!

I think you should stop having s*x and wait until you are married!

O and sometimes it shows more love to give a child up when you know you can not provide the best care for that child good luck and god bless!

Answer 26

me and husband are willing to do an open adoption email me at [e-mail] if interested

Answer 27

This is truly sad you think you would have learned from your first pregnancy.  Well you have to do what you think is best but as you already know taking care of one baby at 14 is probably hard enough , let alone 2: one who will be an infant and  one who is or  will soon be toddling around soon.  You might also want to stop having s*x till your least 17 or 18, unless you want to be 19 and already have like 4 or 5 children.  If you unwisely insist on continuing  to have s*x you better use Condoms, birthcontrol pills and spermcide.  

Adoption could be a good option but you have to discuss that with the father.  It could give your baby a better life no offense. At 14 you dont even have a job and if you do it probably doesn't  pay much. You cant drive so you have to depend on your parents or someone of driving age,  to drive you somewhere if you run out of diapers or your child takes ill and need to go to the hospital.

Answer 28

I think adoption is the best option for you at this point of your life.  I'm not going to judge you for getting pregnant, even if it's your second.  Please, though, think of what is best for the kids and consider adoption.  Also, please consider being abstinent so that you don't get pregnant a third time.  If you can't or won't refrain from having s*x, then at least use protection!

SG

Answer 29

Okay, I have a zillion things I want to say and I'm going to do my best not to jumble it all up.  It is completely okay to sit on the fence and not know which way you are going to decide.  In fact, the choice for adoption should only be made after the baby has been born and you have time to process what has happened. You can speculate all you want before your child is born, but it all comes down to after the birth.

I'm about to make your choices clear as mud.  Regardless of if you parent or if you place your child for adoption, you are a mother now.  Just so you know that one of the biggest myths of adoption concerns picking your life up and continuing on where you left off after placing your child for adoption.  While there is a lot of talk about the wonderful act you can do by placing your child with another family, it will not alleviate the grief.  That first year after placing is hard.  Your body physically will go through the recovery believing your child is dead, even though your thoughts know otherwise.  Relinquishment is a traumatic experience even in the best of circumstances.  You will not be the same carefree person you were after childbirth regardless of whether you parent or relinquish.

Your child is also impacted by this decision.  Parenting in whatever circumstances that are giving you reason to doubt your parenting will impact this child.  Also by relinquishing your child for adoption, you are giving your child a different set of circumstances that the baby will have to live with.  Your child would forever have the effects of adoption is his/her life.

http://library.adoption.com/Parenting-an...

Even in love and good intentions, adoption is founded on loss and that child's loss would be from your actions.  That loss affects even the most well-adjusted happy person.

Honor the deliberation process.

1. Form an adoption plan.

2. Form a parenting plan.

3.  Decide after your baby is born and the dust has settled.

Here are a few more links to look at if you haven't already:

Safeguarding the rights and well being of birthparents in the adoption process

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publica...

This is a website written by a birthmother to help give information about open adoption in a non-biased way.

http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/

Discussion boards to help find resources and get more information about your choices.

http://www.singlepregnancy.com/

http://www.girl-mom.com/

http://soulofadoption.com/

Answer 30

Adoption is painful.  It's painful for the child and painful for you.  If it's a closed adoption your child probably never know who you are.  They will wonder why they weren't good enough and why you didn't love them enough to keep them.  

I don't think you should give your baby away simply because you're young.  Join a church.  Get some real support with your life.  Adoption is forever.  Can you honestly say you won't wonder what is happening to your baby if you give it away?  

Keep your baby, grow up and take birth control.  Adoption isn't an easy simple solution.  

On the other hand I have to say if you can choose a family that is wealthy choose that option.  Chose a man and woman who are intelligent, loving and kind.

Answer 31

I have given 3 children up for adoption. I 100% support an adoption decision especially at your age. Your not a w***e but you should try to be a bit more careful with s*x. Good luck to you.