Should i stop working out with my trainer??

Question

I am getting married to a wonderful man who usually is not a jelous person, but ever since I started working out at the Gym with a personal trainer ( mind you he is 6’4 and about 350 pounds- not fit at all) he is very upset about it. We have been arguing off and on for the 2 months about this. He has admitted that he does not like it at all, that there is no reason for me to be paying for a gym membership and working out with another man, when I could be doing it home with him. I tried to explain that it was easier for me to be focused at the gym than at home with the kids. But he still disagrees. It has gotten to the point that it could call off our wedding and that scares me. I was in an abusive relationship prior to this to a very controlling person. So my thought on it is that if I quit now than I will be giving in to him and I don’t want him to think that what ever he says goes. I am thinking about this all wrong? Please help.

Answer 1

NO you cant quit because hes insecure.  offer for him to join you.  but if he calls off the marriage due to that, i would feel he never loved me in the first place.  theres always men everywhere.  what next? a cute co-worker now you have to quit your job?

absoulutly not.  

Answer 2

Get a female trainer.  Seems to me the problem is solved.

Answer 3

if it made my husband uncomfortable then I would have quit 2 months ago.

Answer 4

If he is getting that upset over a gym membership then he is just another controlling person.

At least this time you can see the behavior *before* getting married.

Answer 5

Since your "trainer" is not at all fit, he's probably having trouble believing that you have a platonic relationship there.

I certainly would - and I'm not the jealous type.

Answer 6

Just get a female trainer and problem solved. Why is that so hard to do????????????

Stop!

Breathe.

Think.

Answer 7

Keep going to the gym.  You have a professional relationship with this person.  It's not like you're working out naked.  Your husband needs to deal with his own issues over insecurity.

He should be happy that you invest the time & energy in yourself to do this.  And I completely understand what you mean about distractions.  I hate working out at home, always have.  The only thing that ever kept me on point was knowing that I had an appointment to keep & not wanting to cancel or waste another person's time.  It got me out of the house regardless of whether I felt like it or not.  And I also think the gym is very motivating.  I like seeing people work out & think I can do better too.

You already know all of this but I think you should explain to him that squashing your enthusiasm is not right.  It's actually mean & self centered.