Should i submit this poem for my school magazine?

Question

many sunny days, rainy evenings

and chilly mornings

through these years,

came and went

yet made no difference to us

but alas , these seasons seem so precious

this year and

thought that "the time that has gone will not return"

dampens our sprits

as we all standing on the thershold of leaving school

realize that we may never be

together again

as i see little children

who are starting

their fresh years of school

i am reminded of the days when

we were standing in their places

decked in cute little uniforms,

with laugter and merrimrnt,

we began our process of learning

we took some steps ahed

and learnt many things;

some completely new vistas

openedup their doors to us

and we, in the process of learning,

had started growing up

the wonderful teachers gave us

all the knowledge and time they had

and moulded us into

what we are

as the crossroads near,

the anticipative feeling rises

the time that has gone will not return

but the memories will be forever

Answer 1

i  think it is okay. 3 spelling mistakes, and opened up (two words) but the main concern of mine is that teachers do not mould us into what we are. they are a factor, yes, but there is a lot more to how we are and think. parents, idols, even the old woman at 27 can affect you in a way that changes you and your outlook to life so really you mould yourself through how you perceive things. teachers only educate and enlighten us and we use that knowledge to progress and better ourselves.

Answer 2

I think I would be embarassed to send that in. Rewrite it and then come back to us.

Answer 3

as a whole its not great, but you have talent, try and go over it a few time maybe change what you think you can, and then definantly go for it.

Answer 4

I dont think so.

Answer 5

nice job my friend