Should i take bf's kid?

Question

my bf has a 9yr old daughter in girlscouts. there is a daddy/daughter dance next week and an hour before there is a mommy/daughter hair/makeup party. her mom is in texas. she is a very resentful mean and nasty girl to me and has caused so many problems. i have done things with and for her and she doesnt appreciate them. he wants me to take her, and i dont.

Answer 1

Why don't you ask her if she wants you to go with her?

I think this might be a good chance to get to know her friends and their mothers/ sig adults.  Perhaps she could see you as a woman friend, and not just daddy's girlfriend.

I konw she's been mean to you - but you're the adult here, and if you're serious about her dad, you'll be in her life for a long time.

Answer 2

She is a young girl whose Mom is not around. You are taking Daddy's time and attention from her and you expect her to like you? You are, to her eyes, a threat. She is having a tough time. Be the adult and take her. Your dislike for her is obvious and she knows it. Even if her behavior is the cause of your dislike, help the kid learn to accept you.

Answer 3

Not a good idea as it will just point out you are not her mother!  Hard to be put in that spot. Your bf has no clue what is going on with his daughter. You might suggest he take her. Nothing wrong with that.  Good Luck!

Answer 4

The worst thing either you or your bf can do is try and force this girl to like you.  That's just going to make her resent you even more.  It will take time for her to trust and respect you.  

If you have both spoken to her and explained that the first part is where the girls all do their make up and hair so they look pretty when they're dads arrive, and she is still not interested then I think you should let it go.  Maybe ask her if she would prefer to do her hair and make up at home and then go with her dad to the thing.

I know it's frustrating when the relationship is tense with your bf's child, but as I said earlier - give it time.  She will come round.

Answer 5

well then don't take see if her aunt or someone close would want to go with her, If not that see if one of the othergirls mom will take her with them.

Answer 6

I agree with Duffie.

Step-parenting has almost Nothing to do with parenting by the way.

It's a very misleading title......it should be something like 'Dad's Girlfriend who is trying to be friends with me and nothing more, especially parent me'.

Anthing else is a recipe for disaster.

Answer 7

If you plan to be in her life... stop just thinking of her as a little brat. Shes 9 and been through a lot already in her short life. Step up and show her now to care about one another. Offer her support (even when shes being a brat). Go to the dance with her... if she doesn't feel like dancing, don't make her. But at least you put your thought and effort into her.

Answer 8

dont take her unless the girl wants you to. otherwise she will be a brat the whole time and not join in any of the fun

Answer 9

I can tell by the attitude you're giving off in your post exactly why the little girl doesn't like you. Because she is well aware that you would prefer she didn't exist. Poor child. You need to grow up and quit competing with her. Act like an adult. I think any other woman that she might actually LIKE should take her, but not you. You shouldn't do anything with her, especially LIVING IN HER HOUSE, until you can GROW UP and quit resenting the child.

Answer 10

I completely understand why this girl would feel very threatned by you since you're the leading lady in her dad's life...but that's really no excuse for her to treat you like c**p and him not internvene.  There is a boundary being crossed here between normal angst that daddy has someone new and her just being a brat.  It sounds to me like your bf isn't aware and/or involved in what's going on between the two of you.  He cannot simply force you to do something you don't want to do.  Forcing you and his daughter to be friends may really ending up hurting the relationship you have with HIM.  I'm guessing that you've voiced why you do not want to take her to this event and he's just not having it.  I personally would not do it.  I would make it clear that you don't deserve to be treated like dirt and while you sympathize with her lack of a mother nearby, you are not the substitute, especially when this girl gives you no respect!  Oh my goodness...what a mess.  Good luck!

Answer 11

Well if she doesn't want you to you can't force her she would just resent you even more!

Answer 12

What a messed up situation. Get out of the relationship! If his daughter doesn't like you and you aren't mature enough to make an effort with her (YOU'RE the adult here!), then go away and leave them alone. They don't need an interloper messing up their lives.

Answer 13

Nine is such a hard age.  She probably really wants to go and really doesn't mind if you take her,but feels she's being disloyal to mom by letting you in.  Take her out for a treat and talk to her about it with being all judgy.  She may open up a bit.  If she's adamant I wouldn't force it on her and find another mom figure to fill in.

Answer 14

Well i think in this case that children can be very hard headed and if she doesn't like any of the things you do for her then why take her? but if u think she will enjoy it then maybe be the bigger person and take her, but i suggest making sure she will be happy is she goes with you?

Answer 15

schedule an apntment. or tell him. fake sick or go, it mite help u guys bond, b/c if u think ur going sumwhere w/ him the kid will always be part

Answer 16

Take her to the makeover but don't get your self done this is all the att ention going to her and she wants to be the pretty lady for dad. be big enough to give her that much, don't go to the dance let them be alone.this is letting her have her way but its probably what she needs I'm a step mom and it takes a while to build a bond but remember you are the adult and she is a child so don't act opposite. sounds like dad is trying to make you to get along by not calling others. don't ever let her hear you speak negative about her