Should i talk to this friend again?

Question

I was friends for 13 years with my best friend (met in college, i am now 31). We have done everything together, traveled, double dated, etc. He is like my brother.

I moved into his apartment (He had an extra room) about one year ago and things were good. we watch games together, etc. Well, I made a rash decision to move to another part of the U.S., and I told him I was leaving and I gave him 2 monhts extra rent. As it was his place, I never signed a lease or anything, so I didnt break any agreement.

He got so pissed off, wrote me these long emails cussing me out, telling me he hoped I would fail, just MEAN MEAN things. As I am 31 , I couldnt believe it, the whole thing was inexplicable. I can understand he was upset I left, but the things he said were vile, just bad.

This happend 4 months ago, we have not spoken no calls, no emails, nothing. He never has contacted me about anyhting.

Is is even worth it trying to talk to him again. I feel bad, it sucks as this guy was my friend for so many years, but I woulndt even know what to say based on how poorly he treated me and crappy things he said to me. what do you think?

Answer 1

It sounds like he really put his trust in you, and to him, it felt like a betrayal. It probably hurt him (emotionally) very much which is why he acted out in anger. In my opinion, if you're not going to move back to where he lives, than there's no point in trying to reunite the friendship. He will always feel like you hurt him and won't be able to easily trust you again.

Mississippi150

Answer 2

My guess is, he didn't mean any of those rude things he said in his e-mails to you. I mean, you said it yourself, the two of you were like brothers. You meant a lot to him and for you to just up and leave he probably felt betrayed that he wasn't involved in the decision making. Yes, you are 31 but feelings are feelings and obviously he felt a lot for you and put a lot of trust into you and maybe you leaving felt like you were abandoning him. And I'm not saying its your fault for leaving but I'm just telling you how I think your friend feels. I think you should try to talk to him. It's been four months now and he probably will have cooled down by now. Those emails were written in the heat of the moment, give him one more chance.

Answer 3

tell him you were sorry and its what you wanted to do and maybe you can talk to him again.

Answer 4

WoW!  You must be dumbfounded by all this.  I am so sorry this happened to you.  Sounds like you were VERY fair in how you handled this.  It coudl be that he is so hurt by you leaving, that he doesn't know how to process this.  Could be that he is jealous of your new success.  Whatever it is, just give him space and time to calm down.  If he comes back, then great...if not, then it's better than taking abuse from him!