Should i tell him, or will it only add to the stress?????

Question

Im a virgin. *GASP* I'm 21 and fairly inexperienced, no oral no hand jobs, no nothing. I've only kissed 5 young men in my life, 3 of which have been with in the last year. I find that being a virgin complicates things. Some young men think its great, others...dump me. Or they try to push me into s*x with them. I wonder if i just didn't tell him if it would effect the outcome of our relationship?

I've decided to wait till marriage cause its the most responsible thing to do and also i dont have to worry about catchin anything. I live in a college town and the University i'm at, the Herpes rate is like 2 in 6 people. I have a serious fear of herpes. xD

Answer 1

Wait until marriage.

It also honors God and yourself.

This protects you from the std in way.

The only safe s*x is no s*x

Remember take your vitamins and say your prayers.

Yeah also what Lulu said.

Answer 2

At some point you pretty much have to tell him.  I don't think this is first date, or even third date material, but if a relationship was getting serious this is something he would need to know.  And let's be real-in a college town most guys are expecting something by the third date, but if he's worth your time it won't be a problem.

Answer 3

It's great that you have made a decision for yourself, instead of doing something just because your friends are. It's great, and you should be proud of that choice!

Now, as for what you should do in relationships. Think about this. If a guy will dump you or try to force you into something because you are a virgin, then why would you want anything more to do with them? To me, it's better to get it out in the open and see what the reaction is. If he's a good guy, then he won't care. He will support you in your choice and that will be that. Besides, any guy you meet has the chance of becoming a serious relationship and it shouldn't start based on a lie (you not revealing you're a virgin). In today's world, people assume that you have had s*x unless you state otherwise. Perhaps it's not the best thing, but it's our reality.

My advice would be to admit that you're a virgin, in all senses and see what they do. If he dumps you or tries to get you to sleep with him then he's no good anyway. It might sound cliché, but a good guy lets you be who you are and supports you in having your own beliefs.

Good luck to you Hun! Never be ashamed of your beliefs and never be afraid to express them!

Brit

Answer 4

I respect your decision. Wait until marriage- you will have no regrets. Before i got married i asked my husband if him and I could go for an AIDS tests. This day and age you never know! You go girl! I was a virgin til 23 years of age -never regret it as i told all the *** holes off -i was old enough to know what i wanted in a man and they could not pressure me!!

Answer 5

Kudos to you!!!

wish more young people thought like you, there would be fewer diseases being spread among the young.  

I would say to stick to your plan, and sooner or later you will find the perfect man that will love you for your values.  Only a Good man can value this, so don't worry about the losers that push you away.  Good thing you are seeing them for who they are, not finding out after you've slept with them.

Answer 6

Why do you say "Gasp" then? It makes you happy then wait. Just don't expect too many marriage proposals in your late 20s and 30s.

Btw, you are extremely ignorant. Wait till marriage is not more responsible then having s*x before marriage (or some people don't even want to get married at all). If you are a responsible adult you can practice safe s*x and a lot of smart responsible adults even go and get tested together for STDs before getting intimate.  

Answer 7

First of all, good for you for waiting!! That's a very responsible, mature decision. Its hard (believe me I did it) but so worth it. It makes the relationship between you and your future husband much stronger.

What to do about telling your boyfriends? I'd say if they can't understand then they aren't worth your time. I know that sucks, but believe me when I say that men who don't respect your beleifs from the beginning wont respect them in the end.

My husband, before we started dating, found out that I was Mormon. He wasn't a member of my church, but he respected my desire to wait until marriage, along with a lot of other rules we have in my religion. Eventually his respect turned to understanding and desire, and he joined the church. My point? Stick to your values and patience, and everything will work out just fine.

Answer 8

just make sure the person you marry is clean because it only takes one person to catch something and you may be a virgin but he might have 10 woman under him...so be careful.